A
female
age
30-35,
*aliMoore
writes:I enjoy going into town and going clubbing, however my boyfriend does not. We're both 18 and spend everyday together, his best friend who is also 18 has 'gay tendencies' as i call it, he claims to be straight but dresses and acts gay, he even comments on how attractive some guys are to me(which is what makes me consider he could be). My boyfriend reckons hes secretly gay too, i think he could be bi, but just hasnt come out yet. I call him my gay best friend, and my boyfriend knows i see him this way and knows that i dont find him attractive or in that way.My so called 'gay best friend' also loves clubbing, and we've been together a few times and its been so much fun! because he seems gay i feel comfortable being alone with him drunk as he never tries anything on or anything like that. My boyfriend has recently become jealous of this, and last time me and (our) best friend went to town, my boyfriend got very annoyed with him and wouldnt speak to him for a few days, i had no idea it bothered him as he used to go out of his way to drop us off in town etc. But now i have this dilemma, my boyfriend now acts different and starts being 'off' with our best friend if he ever brings up how we ought to go town as its been a while, i also want to go and he invited me to go this weekend. My boyfriend is now acting off with our friend since he planned this night, so my dlemma is.. do i go into town with my best friend and have fun as i'm always at work and get the rare opportunity to go out with friends without my boyfriend. Or do i keep my boyfriend happy and stay at home with him?My mum, sister and girlfriends suggest that i shouldnt not ever go out because of my boyfriend, as he is always invited to come along and its his own decision to turn down the invite. And that he shouldnt expect me to.Any ideas on how i could keep my boyfriend happy and not upset him, without missing out on opportunities to spend time with my best friend and go out and have fun?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (24 November 2010):
Your dilemma is simple - You can't sit there babysitting your boyfriend just because he doesn't like clubbing. There is no harm in you going out without your boyfriend and in fact, it's sometimes a good thing. My girlfriend goes out with friends and by herself, and I go out with other friends. Clearly if you don't go out all the time clubbing, there's no problem. You boyfriend will just have to get on with it. Don't babysit your boyfriend. You're not his mother or his carer. Make that clear to him. Go out and have fun.
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