A
female
age
41-50,
*candoit
writes:Let me start off my saying that I'm really scared. I have been dating my boyfriend for about a year. But I'm scared to fully commit to him. He is really great and the relationship is great. But, my past and things around has me scared to fully commit. I know you have to love and hope for the best. But, my ex of 6 years cheated on me during our entire six year relationship. My parents got divorced after being married for four years. My father recently left my step mother after being married for ten years. How do I forget about my past and parents relationship and not push this great guy and great relationship away. I'm making up in my head he is cheating and isn't happy and that is so far from the truth.
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cheated on me, divorce, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (23 November 2010):
You need to see a counsellor, and you need to get all this out. You've obviously got a lot going on in your head, and unless you take steps to understand it all, and to change it with someone who can point you in the right direction, you will lose this guy.
Clearly, the marriage of your parents wasn't a good thing, and clearly your own relationship was a bad thing in the end. A counsellor will be able to show you, though, that not all relationships end up this way, and that certainly there are guys out there who will commit.
You have a decent guy in your life, and as a show, you need to speak with a counsellor and you need to explain how you feel. It's also worth speaking to your boyfriend. Tell him that because of past bad experiences, you're in need of reassurance. Hopefully, he'll understand and he will make an effort to support you. But you must take some steps to prove you're getting over this, or you'll lose a decent guy.
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