| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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Why do I feel like "leave me alone" when I get attention?
Q. This is my situation. Like every girl i like getting attention from the guys, but when guys actually start talking to me or generally just show interest I think, "leave me alone." Im flattered with the attention, but then i feel like they should go ...
A. 18 September 2010: Perhaps when you fancy one of the guys who talks to you, you'll feel differently. I'm sure there are hundreds of women who get chatted up who just want the men to go away. You won't be the only one. You'll probably find that either you're not ready ... (read in full...)
Make fling want me back
Q. So like 8 months ago i had a fling with this guy from work. We were both in relationships at the time so we didn't think continuing it on would be any good. So we stopped talking and hanging out. A few months later things started to burn up again. ...
A. 18 September 2010: 1 - Why did you cheat?
2 - Are you still with your boyfriend?
3- If yes to questions 2. Why are you considering cheating again?
You're playing a few games here, aren't you? Games perhaps you should not be playing. And you're not reading the ... (read in full...)
My husband lies about everything!
Q. My husband lies about everything imaginable. usually I have to accept what he's saying because he gets soo wild and because I know, realistically, with 2 kids, im not going anywhere. but lately, he's been lying about everything. he came home lat...
A. 18 September 2010: There comes a point where you just have to put yourself. This is the time. This relationship is destroying you, and you know it. You shouldn't have to get over this, or accept it because he shouldn't be acting this way in the first place. His ... (read in full...)
I'm no longer in love with my b/f but am unable to end things
Q. I have a boyfriend but i haven't been in love with him for quite a while. I do care for him, i do love him, just not as a boyfriend. we've only dated for about 10 months but he's really into deep. I recently met a guy that i really really like and ...
A. 18 September 2010: You've got to stop falling for his tears! You know you don't love him and that he's not the one. You need to be a bit more heard hearted here and just get on with it, because you're wasting his time, your time and this other guy's time.
So, take... (read in full...)
How do you treat it when your boyfriend wants to take a break?
Q. When your boyfriend of 2 years asks for "space" or "a break" for a while, because he wants to do his own thing for a while (no other explanation offered by him, no matter how much I pry), how should I treat it? Should I treat it as him leaving m...
A. 17 September 2010: At his age, and with his excuse, you would be better to treat it as if it's over. He's a young guy, and probably doesn't want to commit. And his reason 'I want to do my own thing', could mean he wants to play the field a bit before settling. This is ... (read in full...)
I really need him right now -- how can I get him to be more supportive?
Q. Hey everyone, The bf "J" and I have been together apx 9 months now - he's finishing up law school and I work for myself. Now, I've been consulting for a few years but the art market has all but dried up and I am so incredibly anxious about my...
A. 17 September 2010: You say this. "You give me support, but I need more emotional support from you, because my life is in turmoil right now and I need you"
If that does not kick your boyfriend into gear, nothing will and you will never have the support from him that... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is depressed about cheating on his wife and leaving her for me
Q. I'm very confused about my boyfriends feelings for me. We didn't start in an ideal way, we were both married and left our spouses because we knew after a couple of months that we wanted to be together. He is currently living with me, everything ...
A. 17 September 2010: I can't say you're right. I really hope you are though, for your sake. ... (read in full...)
What does it mean when women press their boobs into you?
Q. What does it mean when girls push their breasts against you, or brush their breasts against you, when in conversation or whatever? Over the years I have met many women who do this. It is not the majority, but certainly not a small minority e...
A. 17 September 2010: A woman used to do that to me a few years ago. I asked if it meant anything one day. Know what she said?
"I didn't even know I was doing it".
I had to laugh at this. Basically it meant nothing. I would imagine it's the same for most women. T... (read in full...)
Who should I choose?! The new guy or the ex?
Q. Long story short, I dated this guy for a year and a half he was my first love and we had a great relationship in the start. I devoted all my time to him and did everything i possibly could to make him happy. He started to treat me like crap and ...
A. 17 September 2010: If you can't choose, then both guys are not right for you. You shouldn't date either guy. And certainly not the ex. ... (read in full...)
He doesn't love me anymore because of my sexual past!
Q. He says he doesn't love me anymore because of something sexual I've done before I even knew him! How can he blame me for this and break my heart like that? How is that fair? He didn't even know me by then. How can he judge me? The sad thing is, I ...
A. 17 September 2010: He has retroactive jealousy. That's not your fault. That's just who he is. I don't have much time for people with retroactive jealously, because it means that they has issues they're not dealing with, and are blaming other people. You shouldn't sit ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is depressed about cheating on his wife and leaving her for me
Q. I'm very confused about my boyfriends feelings for me. We didn't start in an ideal way, we were both married and left our spouses because we knew after a couple of months that we wanted to be together. He is currently living with me, everything ...
A. 17 September 2010: There is a reason that women are urged to keep away from married men! No, not just the moral reason (we'll set that aside). I'm talking about technical reasons.
Here is the fact that will affect you. Did you know that when a man leaves his wife... (read in full...)
I'm happy with my boyfriend... but my mum isn't!!!
Q. Me and my ex-boyfriend got back together after a 3 month break. I told my mum and since i've told her she hasnt been the same with me and she 'isnt fond' of him. I really dont know what to do, all i want is for my mum to like my boyfriend and she ...
A. 16 September 2010: Of course she's not happy. He was an ex and you went back to him. That's why she's acting this way. Having been a teenage girl before, she will know what you're going through. And she will also know that this guy will probably wind up hurting you ... (read in full...)
My friend is making a big mistake! How can I make her see sense?
Q. My friend who's my age is having sex in a week w/ a guy who's not even her boyfriend (she doesn't have one). Basically, she's in love with this guy and he's a total player. He hooks up with anyone that has boobs and something to stick it in (yes, ...
A. 16 September 2010: Teenagers are prone to making stupid mistakes. And, in my experience, I'm afraid to say that teenage girls are more likely to make stupid mistakes when it comes to boys than the other way around. Yes, he's a player, yes he will use her, yes she will ... (read in full...)
I have a boyfriend but I feel I'm missing out on being single and all that it entails...
Q. Hellooo. I have a small issue that i don't know how to handle. I've been dating my boyfriend for over a year now (not including the recent breakup) and in the break up, i realised 2 things. 1. i love the attention i get and the freedom from bei...
A. 16 September 2010: Go and be single. Another guy will come along. Another life won't, Have your fun, and when the right guy comes along, you'll settle down. You'll only resent it later in life if you don't have your fun now.... (read in full...)
Why do some people look at single women as weird?
Q. Why Do People Look At SINGLE Women as Weird? I am in my early 20's (23) but I feel like I'm still 19 years old. Time has gone by so fast but I dont feel like my age yet. Guys are always complimenting me and asking me out but I politely turn do...
A. 16 September 2010: You can be sure I'm not in a rush to get married! You stick to your career goals and just leave everyone else to it. You'll be better for it in the end.... (read in full...)
I feel like I have to be around when he drinks so he wont do anything stupid.
Q. I don’t feel comfortable with him going out without me. In the start of our relationship he did some things to loose my trust. Now over a year and a half later, we have been doing really good (had our up's and downs) but have really came a long way, ...
A. 16 September 2010: Unless you can trust him to go out by himself, this relationship simply will not work. You can't be his minder. You just can't. It won't even make you feel better. It'll make you more insecure, because the times you don't go, you'll wonder if he's ... (read in full...)
Got drunk, flipped out and now my guy doesn't want to be with me!
Q. Help! I have been with my boyfriend for about 3 years. Wev'e had some problems in the past with me drinking hard liquor which made me crazy and flip out. Plus I've lost my job almost a year ago so I am stressed to the max. So we broke up got back ...
A. 16 September 2010: I think you're done with this one. He may not be an angel, but throughout your drinking, he took a lot of abuse from you. I think the last argument may well have finished him off. You ask how he could be with someone for so long and not try to work ... (read in full...)
Should I fight for my abusive relationship with the man I love, or move on?
Q. I met the love of my life when i was 15, and we got married as soon as i turned 18. We had separated because he had cheated on me. Soon after we got back together, our marriage became abusive, everything between name calling to every-other-day full ...
A. 16 September 2010: Move on before he kills you and leaves your child motherless. ... (read in full...)
Why does it feel different every time?
Q. My husband accuses me of cheating all the time. His reason is one day we will have sex and my vagina is tight and abd the next time he says its loose. He tells me a man can tell when another guy has been in his stuff. I'm not cheating on him. Can ...
A. 16 September 2010: I'd suggest that he's cheating on you, or that he is a bad husband in general. ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend says "its him or me" in reference to my friend!
Q. So i told my girlfriend of a year and four months that my friend, one of my best friends, want to come visit me at my college for a day. she goes here to but she hates him. the only reason she hates him is because she thinks he got me to break up ...
A. 16 September 2010: Who do you want? Her or your friend? You clearly can't have both. At first your girlfriend came across as controlling, but he smokes weed and she clearly has a vendetta against him, blaming him for a previous break up. So her or him. Pick carefully. ... (read in full...)
Ex-boyfriend says he wants to be my friend, but he's being a jerk!
Q. My ex-boyfriend and I have been broken up for over 6 months. I think that our break-up was for the best, as we may not have been the best for each other. We used to live together, but he moved out when he decided to end the relationship. I was hurt ...
A. 16 September 2010: This is a really good reason to walk away and cut contact with him. This is nothing to do with you. It's just him. You helped him, you were there for him and he used you emotionally to get what he wanted. He got that, and has now moved on. You now ... (read in full...)
My fiance wants me to change!
Q. It feels like my fiance wants to change me to fit his life. It wasn't like this before, in fact he used to embrace our differences. Now it's like he wants to keep putting down my quirks until I change. In my line of work I see a lot of things and ...
A. 16 September 2010: I think some of the arguments you two have been having, such as the dreadlock thing, are silly arguments that couples sometimes have. But if he's suggesting that you need to change to accommodate him, then walk away. You don't have to change. That's ... (read in full...)
Will I regret cutting off contact with him?
Q. So I recently deleted my ex and blocked him off a social networking site. I also deleted all the pictures I had of him and threw away some things. He hadn't responded to a happy birthday I sent him and did not send back some of my possessions like i ...
A. 16 September 2010: The only thing you'll regret was not having done it sooner. The relationship was over, he didn't care about you in the slightest even when he was with you, and you were obsessing over him. This will be the best thing you did. ... (read in full...)
Online romance and fake pictures?
Q. me and my boyfriend started dating online we've been together for 2 months now and he has faked many pics, i have asked him before if he was lying to me but he has said that his friends just put them on the internet. how do i know if he's lyi...
A. 16 September 2010: You know he's lying. He's sent you fake pictures, and that's big enough for you to know that he's a liar. Because now you don't know whether he's in his 40's and is trying to groom you. He sounds like a total creep, and you would be much safer ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's dad fancies me!
Q. Hello, I am in a right pickle, I have been with my partner for 2 years now, we have lost 2 babies and we live together. Lately it has been hard for us and we didn't no whether we should end the relationship, but I dot want to just stay in the...
A. 16 September 2010: This is a really big sign. You're too young to be tied down, you don't really love your boyfriend and it's time to move on. You need to end it with your boyfriend, because you are too young to be settling down. Then you need to cut contact with him ... (read in full...)
Should I stay in contact with him, even though he's married?
Q. I'm a 21 y.o who recently met this gorgeous 41 y.o guy in a band when they played live, after we briefly met, i got in touch with him through myspace and he replied saying that he really liked me though he was married. Anyway, a few weeks passed and ...
A. 16 September 2010: Think of yourself as a woman, rather than a piece of meat, which is how is treating you. You can either be second best to a man who will just use you, then go home to his wife. Or you can end it with him and find a better guy. What you do not want ... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't shower or brush his teeth as often as he should, what should I do?
Q. I love my husband very much but lately, there are some things I just can oversee. I mean is there a nice way to tell the man you love that he always has very bad breath... he could forget to brush his teeth for a couple of days, and showers ...
A. 16 September 2010: Sweetie, just tell him. Men won't take hints, won't take subtlety. You need to sit him down and just tell him. He may get hurt, he may get mad. But he needs to know this is affecting you. ... (read in full...)
I can't stop eating! Pregnant?
Q. Hi everyone, Ok here goes; recently I have been feeling a little strange. For starters I cannot stop eating! I am always hungry. I had no idea why, i'm quite a small girl and I dont usually eat a lot, but right now I literally cannot seem to fill ...
A. 16 September 2010: You could be. Of course, you're still quite young, so it might be a growth spurt you're going through, or an illness. I would STRONGLY suggest you go to a doctor and get checked. You live in the UK, so you can visit the doctor for free and it's ... (read in full...)
How can I stop him from being so possessive?
Q. Okay, my boyfriend and I have been dating for about 10 months. I am in the 10th and he is in the 11th, (but I'm graduating early)... Well he doesn't like when other guys talk to me. At all. I can't sit with guys or talk to them and he does the same ...
A. 16 September 2010: End it, ASAP. Because if you allow this, shortly he will be picking your clothes, then shouting at you, then making you give up school, then hitting you. That's how these relationships go.
You have a dangerously jealous and insecure boyfriend who ... (read in full...)
How do you get over someone who was so good to you?
Q. I was with my partner for 5 years. We talked about marriage and spending our lives together. However, over the last year we noticed that we wanted different things. I wanted to wait to get married, did not want to rush, I wanted to do a phd, become ...
A. 16 September 2010: I think you've done exactly the right thing. Take no notice of the post at the bottom (no disrespect), because if there's one thing that's more important than love, it's having a go at your dream. If you hadn't done this, you'd have wound up hating ... (read in full...)
I am wanting to know if my son's father and I will ever get back together???
Q. I am wanting to know if my son's father and I will ever get back together. Last year we had a physical altercation and he is now being charged with agravated menancing. I am not looking to press charges against him, the state is pressing charges....
A. 16 September 2010: If you did take him back, at some point the state would take your child away for its own protection because the man you love is an abuser. So it's a choice of the well-being and security of your son, or your abusive ex who so clearly doesn't care ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend not working right now it's driving me crazy!
Q. i work and my boyfriend doesnt is it okay for me to expect him to do more around the house? he sits here all day with his friends and chills while im at work then when i come home the house is always untidy.(even if it was clean when i left) i get ...
A. 16 September 2010: I'm out of work. But I don't sit around 'chilling'. I don't care if he's depressed, either you kick his ass into finding work or doing stuff around the house, or you kick him out. You know what helps depression more than support? Doing stuff. I had ... (read in full...)
Daughter is having an affair/baby with a married man...
Q. Hello. My 24 year old daughter is having an affair with a 30 year old married man. It has been going on, correspondence/physical since the end of 2008. Before he was deployed to Iraq, she got pregnant and soon will be giving birth to his son. She ...
A. 16 September 2010: In Britain, we have an old saying
"You made your bed, you lie in it".
I don't know if it made it to America, but it's a good saying and applies here to an extent.
Your daughter has made some shockingly bad decisions, and is utterly deluded if s... (read in full...)
He's gone from being affectionate with me to being non affectionate again...
Q. Hello everyone I am 20 and my boyfriend is 28, older than me i know but we get along very well, we were best friends before anything, he is the person I trust the most I tell him everything! But now I moved to Canada i was offered a scholarship by ...
A. 16 September 2010: You answered your own connection.
He wasn't affectionate.
You said you liked affectionate people.
He suddenly became affectionate,then asked you out.
You said yes.
Two weeks later and he's not affectionate at all. So bad is it, that he even ... (read in full...)
Anyone have any insight into ED?
Q. So for the past couple of months my boyfriend has been having trouble maintaining an erection during sex. It won't happen every single time we have sex, but it does happen and its getting really depressed about it. For starters, he's 23 and I'm ...
A. 16 September 2010: After 5 days of straight sex, any man's penis will be exhausted. It's tiredness, and the depression he then inflicts upon himself makes it worse. If he's worried, then he needs to see a doctor. But you'll probably find it's tiredness. He may not ... (read in full...)
Am I just wasting my time? or do I wait and see what happens?
Q. theres this guy i've met few weeks ago in a club i havent talked to him so when i saw that on facebook he has gave me a friend request and we talk everyday since. his cute really nice and it seems like he really likes me. he is 5years older then me ...
A. 15 September 2010: You know that big down side, where you said he was a player?! That's the thing you should be paying attention to! I'm sure he does really like you, but I'm sure he likes all those other girls too. Maybe keep him as a friend and take things VERY ... (read in full...)
Did he just say he liked me to make me feel better?
Q. Hello I'm in the middle of a really annoying situation just now to do with a guy I really like (let's call him fred). I really like Fred and Fred really likes me but he won't go out with me because he used to like a girl (let's call her Sarah) but ...
A. 15 September 2010: Truth is Fred still likes Sarah, and doesn't know what to do. Just steer clear of him. There's no point in going out with a guy who can't make his mind up. ... (read in full...)
I'm happily married but still love my ex
Q. Before I married my amazing husband of 4 years I ran into my ex. All of the chemistry and passion that we had so long ago was still there. Needless to say it through me for a loop when all of these feelings came up and I was about to get married. ...
A. 15 September 2010: You've got to cut contact with him. It won't work out into a fairytale ending. You don't even really love him. You're in love with the past. This guy is an ex for a reason. That reason is that it didn't work out before. So why throw away this ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend gives me the impression he is disinterested
Q. I have been with boyfriend for a year and a half. I really love him but sometimes I get so irritated with because he always seems disinterested when I talk to him on the phone. He has no enthusiasm. In general he has quite low confidence and he has ...
A. 15 September 2010: You are with a bit of a loser. He smokes weed and seems disinterested. You know very well there are better guys out there. Find one of those.... (read in full...)
I asked my boyfriend a question should I be mad for the answer he gave me?
Q. [Mod note* poster your suggested title was already taken]I asked my man, an "If we were to break up" question. I asked would you still love me? his answer was "probably". But If I was asked this question I would say I def would, without a doubt ...
A. 15 September 2010: I know you didn't want harsh or rude, but why did you ask this question to him? This is one of those silly questions that really has no bearing on anything and shouldn't have been asked.
Let's say you dumped him and hurt him. think he'd still love... (read in full...)
How can we be together???
Q. My first love has admitted after 9 years apart, that he still loves me and life hasnt been the same without me, i was the only good thing in his life, he said that im the love of his life, but hes stuck where he is because he doesnt want to lose his ...
A. 15 September 2010: He's been very cruel to this other women, and given the chance he will be as cruel to you. Don't trust him at all.... (read in full...)
How can we be together???
Q. My first love has admitted after 9 years apart, that he still loves me and life hasnt been the same without me, i was the only good thing in his life, he said that im the love of his life, but hes stuck where he is because he doesnt want to lose his ...
A. 15 September 2010: ALWAYS be suspicious of a man when he acts this way. Because if he is willing to be with a woman and have a child for 9 years, whilst claiming another woman is the love of his life, he's quite callous. He basically wasted this other woman's whole ... (read in full...)
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