| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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How can we be together???
Q. My first love has admitted after 9 years apart, that he still loves me and life hasnt been the same without me, i was the only good thing in his life, he said that im the love of his life, but hes stuck where he is because he doesnt want to lose his ...
A. 15 September 2010: He's been very cruel to this other women, and given the chance he will be as cruel to you. Don't trust him at all.... (read in full...)
How can we be together???
Q. My first love has admitted after 9 years apart, that he still loves me and life hasnt been the same without me, i was the only good thing in his life, he said that im the love of his life, but hes stuck where he is because he doesnt want to lose his ...
A. 15 September 2010: ALWAYS be suspicious of a man when he acts this way. Because if he is willing to be with a woman and have a child for 9 years, whilst claiming another woman is the love of his life, he's quite callous. He basically wasted this other woman's whole ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend in heavy debt
Q. My 27 Girlfriend is in heavy debt. We've been together for about a year and things are starting to get serious, we are thinking of renting a place and buying a few things together. I wanted to know what place we could afford and obviously set so...
A. 15 September 2010: DO NOT move in with this woman until she addresses her problem. Credit and Debt companies don't just work on names, they work on addresses too. So if you live at the same address as her, your name gets dragged into the mess as well. She needs to be ... (read in full...)
How do I get my boyfriend to fall back in love with me?
Q. my boyfriend and i have been together for over a year now and known each other for a long time on the internet before meeting up on 14th of august 2009. We broke up yesterday because of me, i was aruging with him because he never called me when he ...
A. 15 September 2010: You can't make him love you anymore. That's the point. His whole reaction was his way of saying that it's over and has been for some time. He didn't just fall out of love with you yesterday. This is something that has been happening for some time. ... (read in full...)
Glitter on boyfriend's face!
Q. Hi everyone…I’m hoping someone can give me some advice. Last night I went to see my boyfriend after he got off work. When we were sitting together I noticed a small piece of glitter on the bottom of his nostril. Just one piece. I got upset and st...
A. 15 September 2010: It WASN'T from a girl! 13 people on here have all said you're overreacting! And you are. Go apologize to him and work on your trust issues. ... (read in full...)
Married man says he needs a "cure" to marry me?? What does that mean?
Q. i have just came back from turkey i meet a lovely kurdish waiter i spent two days with him before returning home he was lovely to me treated me like a princess he has a kurdish wife and daughter back home in east turkey he told me about his wife he ...
A. 15 September 2010: You've know him two days and he's already married to another women. Bad sign, as HoneyPie says.... (read in full...)
Disturbing boy in my class
Q. There is a guy in my class who iz always rubbing me.!!!! Rubbing my back legs chest hips butt and trys for my other part also. He trys to put my hand in his pants. He acutualy one stuck his hand down his pants then when I was not paying attentio...
A. 15 September 2010: Tell someone. He's assaulting you. You need to stop it. Who cares of he's popular. He's a creep. ... (read in full...)
Why does an ex act mean for no reason?
Q. What does it mean when an exboyfriend or exgirlfriend acts mean to you for no reason at all? ...
A. 15 September 2010: It means you should avoid them, because they are looking for an ego trip to make them feel better.... (read in full...)
How do I get my boyfriend to fall back in love with me?
Q. my boyfriend and i have been together for over a year now and known each other for a long time on the internet before meeting up on 14th of august 2009. We broke up yesterday because of me, i was aruging with him because he never called me when he ...
A. 15 September 2010: You can't. You're not reading the signs here.
You claimed he wasn't getting in contact. If he wasn't, then he was already losing interest.
You then phoned him, and even after him telling you he was helping his father, you suggested it wasn't w... (read in full...)
I cheated and now boyfriend is still so jealous! Is this normal?
Q. iN THE past i cheated on my bf various times, n he forgave me, but now, he is extremly jealous, iff i dont call him every day, he gets upset, n if i delete a post on facebook, he thinks im hiding something. What do I do, is this normal?? Enough time ...
A. 15 September 2010: Yes it's normal! And you're being very callous by suggesting enough tome has passed. Given that you've cheated several times and you think that 'enough time has passed', I'd suggest that in no way are you ready for a relationship. You don't have any ... (read in full...)
We've both cheated and I think we're better off not together
Q. He dumped me (again). Now he wants me back (again). ): I love him and want him back but I'm starting to think it would be better if we weren't together! - we've both cheated. It was ages ago, but it's still there, hanging over the relationship. Ca...
A. 15 September 2010: This won't work. Period. You're on/off
You've both cheated and neither of you have moved on from that.
You think you're a stepping stone.
He doesn't know what he wants and is scared of commitment.
You've got little in common.
The list is EN... (read in full...)
My boyfriend saw me kissing someone else!
Q. I was at a club with a guy friend. We kissed a few times. But there's a problem I was going out with someone at the time and he so happens to be a the same night club as me. He saw me kissing him. Now the guy that was my boyfriend says to me that he ...
A. 15 September 2010: Basically, you're going to have to say goodbye to your guy friend that you kissed. More to the point, since you did kiss him, why are you in a relationship with your boyfriend? Because it doesn't sound like you're ready if you're out in the open ... (read in full...)
He dumped me because he's busy with his career
Q. My 3 months old boyfriend just dumped me saying he is busy with his career and doesnt feel he is ready. We had been away for 3 weeks and he said although he missed me he felt detached sometimes. Thats why he doesnt want to continue, its not me who ...
A. 14 September 2010: I know you want him to call. And I know you want to know what caused him to change his mind. But he won't call, and you'll never really know the answer to that question. He's just focused on his own life and career at the moment, and has probably ... (read in full...)
What if he was the one for me and I have let him go?
Q. I really finding it hard to get over my ex... We broke up over 2 months ago but got back toegther and then broke up again a couple of weeks ago.. We weren't getting on, arguing all the time over differnt things, we were together for over 2 years...
A. 14 September 2010: Clearly he's not the one though. At all. If he was, both he and you would have made more of an effort. As it is, you argued, got back together, argued more and split up again. He's not the one at all.... (read in full...)
I poured my heart out to him, and got no response...
Q. I have posted on here before now. Quick background, my ex and i split 3 months ago after 3 and a half years on and off. Main cause of relationship breakdown was lack of communication, mainly my doing. days after the split, he starts a new ...
A. 14 September 2010: You're wasting your time.
Fact is, this won't work. Even if you got back together, it won't work. You're not looking at the mess this is. You're just thinking it will work out. The facts are
- He ended it and went out with someone else.
... (read in full...)
He has given me 2 weeks to drastically change things or we have to go....
Q. This might be long, so I thank you in advance for reading! Some background: when I was 15, I had a huge crush on a guy who was NOT interested in me at all. I was his exact opposite, loud and wild, and "scared" him. I never forgot him, but moved on ...
A. 14 September 2010: You remember years ago, when he couldn't accept you then for who you were? Well surprise, years later and he still can't. I'd make plans to move out, because things aren't suddenly going to change. You can't be the woman he wants, because he has no ... (read in full...)
How do I nicely reject a sweet guy???
Q. Alright I need some seriouse help. So homecoming is coming up and I'm really excited to go, and at lunch this guy asked me to homecoming, and he kept walking, so at first I thought he was just joking around, but then I heard him say "no don't! I ...
A. 14 September 2010: Yep. Say this.
"You're a really lovely, sweet guy, and you're going to make another lucky girl really happy someday. I'm very flattered you like my, but I'm sorry, I'm just not ready for a relationship at the moment.
That's about as nice as it ca... (read in full...)
How can I get him to talk and not shut down?
Q. Ok, I need some help. Been dating this guy for almost a year. We dont spend time at all together maybe once a month, he texts every day. He is very sweet one minute and angry the next especially when i question anything about the relationship and or ...
A. 14 September 2010: This guy sounds like he has commitment issues to me, and won't be anything more than just a 'date'. At one year into a relationship, you should be more than dating, you should be spending a lot of time with each other and have a clear idea on where ... (read in full...)
Involved with a married man and not sure what he wants, what should I do?
Q. i have been working with a married guy since late last year but hes always made it clear and obvious that hes attracted to me. we are very close in work as most of us are but,in feb he opened up to me that his marriage has major problems. just...
A. 14 September 2010: I know this is hard. Believe me, you're not the only mistress to think that a married man really loves them. There are hundreds of posts on this site alone that will show you about married men.
This guy uses you for his own ends. At no point does... (read in full...)
Glitter on boyfriend's face!
Q. Hi everyone…I’m hoping someone can give me some advice. Last night I went to see my boyfriend after he got off work. When we were sitting together I noticed a small piece of glitter on the bottom of his nostril. Just one piece. I got upset and st...
A. 14 September 2010: No, no one here would think glitter was a sign of cheating. The last thing you'd find on a cheating man is glitter. ... (read in full...)
If we break up over her cheating I'll lose my child
Q. I've been with my wife now for almost 8 years now. Married for 2yrs with a house and a baby girl of 7 months. She is from overseas and is currently back with her family with our baby while we were getting back on our feet(so far 4months). Inspired ...
A. 14 September 2010: I would check with a lawyer exactly what you can do. Because I find it hard to believe that they'd just let he take your child out. I would have a serious talk with a lawyer and make sure you know exactly where you stand, to the letter of the law. ... (read in full...)
Glitter on boyfriend's face!
Q. Hi everyone…I’m hoping someone can give me some advice. Last night I went to see my boyfriend after he got off work. When we were sitting together I noticed a small piece of glitter on the bottom of his nostril. Just one piece. I got upset and st...
A. 14 September 2010: I think you owe your boyfriend a huge apology, in my opinion. A piece of glitter could have come from anywhere. The last place it would have come from would be a girl. I'd also say that you need to work on your trust issues, because you'be accused ... (read in full...)
I have problems with my violent teenager son, who doesn't want me to date!
Q. I am having problems with my teenager. He's 13 and doesn't want me to date or talk to anyone. I decided not to bring any man around until I felt that it was serious. I have found someone who I am very happy with. My son won't accept it. He is very ...
A. 14 September 2010: Your son needs serious psychological help, now. This is totally beyond any kind of normal behaviour, and he needs serious help. Other than that, there is nothing you can do. He needs help that is beyond you. And if you don't get the help for him, or ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend with gambling issues said he will really change this time - I'm confused.
Q. Hey, Here's my story. Been with my bf for 2 years now. I'm very much in love with him. He has a lot of issues that I've tried to over look and tried to help with. Trust,control, and gambling. He has no reason to not trust me, as I've been loyal. H...
A. 14 September 2010: No he won't quit. Not any day soon. He just wants a bed for the night, and is playing you yet again. This guy is a walking nightmare! He's broken all his promises to quit, he's lied to you repeatedly, forged your name illegally to commit fraud in ... (read in full...)
Afraid that "standing up for myself" might drive her away
Q. What can I do because I feel like I'm in a no-win situation. I am madly in love with my girlfriend, who often seems to take me for granted. But at the same time, while I feel I deserve better treatment, I'm afraid to "stand up for myself" because ...
A. 14 September 2010: Don't be a push over. No matter how much you like her, if she's taking you for granted and won't listen without dumping you, she's not worth your time. You need to talk to her. She might welcome you being a little tougher, or she might be a bitch ... (read in full...)
He dumped me because he's busy with his career
Q. My 3 months old boyfriend just dumped me saying he is busy with his career and doesnt feel he is ready. We had been away for 3 weeks and he said although he missed me he felt detached sometimes. Thats why he doesnt want to continue, its not me who ...
A. 14 September 2010: You've really got to move on. Whilst you're hurt and upset and you think he's selfish, he's done you a huge favour. Usually at 3 months, a man will know whether he's right for you or not. This time, he decided that he's not ready and can't commit ... (read in full...)
He is having marriage problems and we want a fling together? what should I do?
Q. So I just got into contact with a guy I had a crush on back in high school. Found out he was very attracted to me as well. We both haven't forgotten each other and would like to have a fling but here's the situation: he's married, I live in one ...
A. 14 September 2010: Sure he has 'marriage problems'.
That's the mating call of every cheating married man in the world. You want to be the pet of a married man? Probably not. He'll just use you then go home to his poor wife. Why bother with a man who just wants to h... (read in full...)
How do I get him to ring me? I really like him!
Q. I've been getting to know this guy. He thinks I am not your every day girl, there's something different about me and that I amuse him:) He's always complimenting me and really caring. He said if I were his girl he would be kissing me all the t...
A. 13 September 2010: You don't get him to ring you. You ring him and make it clear you like him! He's sending out a lot of signals that he likes you, but you're not really sending any back to him and it will confuse hum. All signs point to him liking you, so do a little ... (read in full...)
Why can't my family give him a chance and really get to know him?
Q. I have always had a great relationship with my parents until now. I am 20 yrs old and they are still treating me like a child. I work part time and go to school part time. I started dating my new bf a few months ago and they dont like him only ...
A. 13 September 2010: I suspect there is a lot more to this than just his age. Why exactly was the restraining order put against your boyfriend? What happened between him and your father to make it so? Because for your father to do that, something must have gone pretty ... (read in full...)
I'm on hold while she figures out what to do with her MM
Q. I have been in a non-committed relationship with a woman for the past 3 years. I asked her a few times but she said she needed time to think before committing. Which was okay with me and I waited. Recently I found out that she was going out with a ...
A. 13 September 2010: Run a mile away. She's having an affair with a married ma who has kids. She has no problems about wrecking a marriage, no thought for the children or the other wife, and no self respect. Not a woman you want to marry, because it means she will hurt ... (read in full...)
What should I make of this behaviour?
Q. hi, well basically me and my boyfriend have been on and off for 3 years, we r currently on nad have been for 5 months. the problem is i know it doesnt sound big but i was wondering what to make of this. we went to the cinema with a grooup of mates...
A. 13 September 2010: I feel a bit bad for teenage girls, because you do have to put up with a lot from teenage boys, as you are with this guy. Someone once said teenage boys could be more cruel than anything, and this is the proof. At his age, he simply doesn't get the ... (read in full...)
Should I walk away or try to help him?
Q. I need to know if I'm wasting my time with my boyfriend. Here is a little about us we meet online june of 08 I didn't know he was married I just broke up with my husband of 22 yrs cause of his cheating. I find out he is married and I know I should ...
A. 13 September 2010: He cheated on his wife to be with you. He will use you and do the same to you. You already know what it's like to be cheated on, and you're yet again allowing it. Meanwhile, he gets all he wants from you, other women and surprise he's still not ... (read in full...)
Do you think he'll come back to me if we just stay friends for awhile?
Q. My boyfriend of 3 months just broke up with me. I am seriously heartbroken because I fell hard for this guy. In the first month and a half things were wonderful. We had sex often and loved being together. Then one time when we were having sex he ...
A. 13 September 2010: It's just the way the human mind words. People have to take time getting to know each other, usually a few months. At about 3 months, a man will know whether he wants to make a woman his girlfriend (unless he has issues of his own). As it is, your ... (read in full...)
I do not believe my girlfriend...has she cheated?
Q. My partner and I have been seeing each other for about 15 months and she has lied to me on numerous occasions but denies cheating on me. I love her very much but her explanations for things that she has done leaves me doubting her. Here is ...
A. 10 September 2010: I'm surprised you've bothered staying. Either she's a cheat, or she has some SERIOUS issues. One of those two. The time has come to end it and move on. ... (read in full...)
Can anyone advise me on the pros and cons of owning your own business?
Q. I have this dream of owning my own business. If anyone who does is reading this post, I'd love to hear what the advantages and disadvantages are. I have lots of options. I'm qualified with two diplomas i.e. media and computer studies. I'm lo...
A. 10 September 2010: There is one pro, and one con. And I know, because I was self employed.
The pro is that you are in total control, and all the money is yours if you succeed.
The con is there is a high chance it will fail, like mine.
I think it's great that y... (read in full...)
Am I crazy or is she cheating?
Q. hello me and my wife have been together 8 yrs and have 2 kids. I recently caught her in a few lies and now I'm having trust issues and thinks she is cheating on me. we have agreed social networking sites are immature and cause problems so we both ...
A. 10 September 2010: The moment someone who is acting like this says you're 'crazy' and that you're 'imagining things', there is usually something wrong. That is NOT to say she's cheating. It could be something else. But it's pretty clear something is wrong as you've ... (read in full...)
Can a man love 2 women at the same time?
Q. can a man fall in love with two women,cause there is a man who says that he's got two girlfriends,he love's them both,but he says he feels like he is in heaven when he is around the new girl.is it possible 2 love two women?...
A. 10 September 2010: No. I believe you can lust after more than one person, and like more then one person. But any man claiming he loves more than one woman at the same time doesn't know what love is. The guy you've mentioned sounds like a player who doesn't know what ... (read in full...)
He says he not "100%" committed to me... should I move on?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for the past 3 months. We're both in our late twenties, he was very into me initially and then we agreed to be exclusive to each other after we started becoming intimate. We've had a lot of problems as I had caught him ...
A. 10 September 2010: I absolutely think you should write him a goodbye letter (nothing nasty! Just a goodbye letter - as you don't want him putting it on the net or mocking you).
This guy was initially texting other women, then asked for forgiveness and since then has ... (read in full...)
Another boy kissed me, and now my boyfriend broke up with me! Will he forgive me?
Q. I made a huge mistake.two nights ago I went to hang out with my friends brother. She was suppose to meet us there and so when I went over I wasn't expecting for this to go the way they did. His sister called and said she wasn't gonna make it so I ...
A. 9 September 2010: There is a very high chance of you losing him. This does look bad, mainly because he will be asking himself what you were doing alone with him, and also coupling it together with the fact that for two months you've been having arguments and you'be ... (read in full...)
My old FWB has a girlfriend but wants to mess with me again!
Q. My ex "friends with benefits" has a new gf, well i say new, he's been with her nearly a year. He's always been a flirt, but lately he's been talking about what we used to do together in bed and did thinking about it turn me on. I'm pretty ...
A. 9 September 2010: He's playing with you, because his hope is that you'll give in so he can have his way with you and her. Friends don't tend to ask each other for pics. I think this is a guy you could to do to remove from your life.... (read in full...)
His Facebook status is single, but he has messages from a girl. Should I pursue him?
Q. There's a guy that I dated in 9th grade in high school for about a month. We were kids then and not knowledgeable of what a relationship was so we went our seperate ways but I have always felt very drawn and attracted to him...like he was the one. ...
A. 9 September 2010: I think if his baby's mother is saying she loves him and they'll be together forever, it's best to stay well away. ... (read in full...)
Involved with a married man and not sure what he wants, what should I do?
Q. i have been working with a married guy since late last year but hes always made it clear and obvious that hes attracted to me. we are very close in work as most of us are but,in feb he opened up to me that his marriage has major problems. just...
A. 17 June 2010: Well I'm sorry, but he IS using you and you ARE just sex to him. He's so unhappily married that he's still with this wife? I'm sorry, but like all misguided mistresses, you are being used and are refusing to believe it. Cheating married men are ... (read in full...)
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