A
female
age
30-35,
*armonie
writes: Hello everyone I am 20 and my boyfriend is 28, older than me i know but we get along very well, we were best friends before anything, he is the person I trust the most I tell him everything! But now I moved to Canada i was offered a scholarship by McGill uni, when I moved we were still friends nothing else!! And it's been like a year I have moved but we really stayed in touch we talked every day! my family knows him (as my friend though) and his knows me, we are that close!!He grew up in a non affectionate family and he is normally more affectionate himself but this summer we were talking as usual he asked me why I wanted a boyfriend for I told him stuff like somebody who calls me before sleeping, somebody to call just to tell me they miss me, he said but I do that with you I said no you are my friend and I want someone who has feelings for me! Then after that day he started acting like an affectionate person, text me how he misses me and loves me, how beautiful I am it caught me off guard since he is not that kind of person, I even mentionned it and he goes "that's the side of me that you didn't know"! And after he asked me to be his gf! I accepted it was great he would text and call all the time and send cute messagesBut since two weeks ago things have changed he went back to being a non affectionate person!!! I asked him why? he said that I shouldn't complain!! But I really want him to be affectionate again! why did he go from non affectionate to affection and now back to non affectionate? did he get affectionate to get me but now that he has me he thinks he can relax? Should ask him again? but wouldn't he feel pressured??? and think am needy?? please help!Ps am a very affectionate person. Thank you guys in advance!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (16 September 2010):
You answered your own connection.
He wasn't affectionate.
You said you liked affectionate people.
He suddenly became affectionate,then asked you out.
You said yes.
Two weeks later and he's not affectionate at all. So bad is it, that he even said 'don't complain'.
He didn't grow up in an affectionate household, and it shows. But you'll find that he grew up in a household where he learnt to exploit feelings, put on acts and lie.
You've walked into a manipulative man's life, and before you go down the route of trying to change him (which will fail anyway), think twice about this guy. He put on a cheap act to get you. So what else will he lie about, or what else will he use to manipulate you?
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