| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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Should I send him pics, or should he be respectful of my decisions?
Q. My boyfriend of almost a month wants pics but im not that comfortable about it. He is sorta mad about it because I said idk. Its also a semi long distant relationship. I really like him! Should I do it or should he be repectful of my decisions? ...
A. 23 September 2010: He should be respectful of your decision. Don't send any pics that you don't want to. ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't he want a title on our relationship?
Q. why doesnt he want to have title after two months of sex, me cooking for him, meeting his mom, him meeting my mom, and countless dates, and meeting his friends, hed rather not call it anything...
A. 23 September 2010: Two months is still a little early (just 8 weeks of dating) to put name on something like this. More to the point, be careful how much you do for him. You don't want to wind up being used. I think you can afford to give him more time. When you're at ... (read in full...)
Why do I keep dwelling on her past?
Q. i am in love with a woman i met last november on a dating site and just have a problem about something in her past that bothers me and wondered if im just being silly?so we met and i took her out to dinner and she was incredible rite from the ...
A. 23 September 2010: I don't think this is a woman you can trust. For several reasons.
First of all, when she was meeting you, she was seeing a married man. That means that there was some deception on her part towards you. She claimed she was out for a long term rela... (read in full...)
Second life is real life to my boyfriend
Q. I have been involved with a man for 7 years. In that 7 years I have found that he lies to me many times, changing his stories and says that I am remembering things incorrectly (which I know is bull). Because we live apart and neither of us ma...
A. 22 September 2010: DUMP HIM!
He can't see you, yet bought a new computer for her? He does other things?
Use your head and make a smart decision. He's a loser. A total loser. From start to finish, he's a loser. He's one of the biggest losers I've ever read about on... (read in full...)
I want to sleep with my husbands ex wife!
Q. So the thing is my husband and I have had a 3some with my friend. No issues came from it and everything was fine.. Well, I have been keeping a secret from him that I finally just told him. I want to have a 3some with his ex wife...Yes I know Im nuts ...
A. 22 September 2010: And the moment you watch your husband have sex with his ex wife, you'll lose him to her, or you'll lose your mind with jealous rage. Why else would she want to do it? She knows it will destroy your marriage. This will kill it all. ... (read in full...)
He is playing mind games, but I still like him!
Q. this guy ive been 'seeing' is messing with my head he has never said we are boyfriend n girlfriend every time he wants to link up its cos he wants to have sex or something and a couple months ago i was just ignoring him and started to hate him ...
A. 22 September 2010: Avoid him like the plague. All he wants is control over you, which he has. He makes you feel bad like everything your fault, and you've said all he really seems interested in is sex. There's no use you saying you like him, because he's a total waste ... (read in full...)
Have I done something wrong, it always seems to be just me!
Q. Do i keep doing something wrong? One of my mates seems to have this problem with me but he never says it. He barely speaks to me, sometimes he will, like ask me the odd thing or how im doing but theres no effort to strike up a conversation, he wont ...
A. 22 September 2010: Usually when it seems like it's all your fault, it means it's entirely the other person's fault. In this case, I'd say he's the one with the problem. You'll never know what it is. It might be that he's just not that good a friend, or it might be ... (read in full...)
Why have I not heard from him? does he just not like me as much?
Q. Hey. I like this guy and we've sort of had a bit of something "going on." I normally hear from him every day. Just one question.. I went away on holiday recently and every single day, he'd text me asking how I was and just to generally have a chat. ...
A. 22 September 2010: If he's on holiday, then he'll just be busy. That's all. ... (read in full...)
Why do I still talk to him, see him and listen to his crap?
Q. I met and dated this guy when I was 22. I truly fell for him and a few weeks later found out he had a girlfriend. We were always off and on regardless because i wanted to be with him. He always had girlfriends but never could choose to be with me ...
A. 22 September 2010: Send a text saying 'goodbye'. Then cut contact and ignore everything. If you're really serious, change your number too.... (read in full...)
I will not love until I am with her
Q. Hey. I’m a 23 year old guy, and I think I’m perfectly normal. However, I’ve been having abnormal feelings about a girl for the last 7 years. Basically Im in love with her. All I think about is her. All i want to do is be with her. She keeps say...
A. 22 September 2010: You need to end contact with her. That's the only way you'll ever move on. She has made it clear on more than one occasion that what you two have will never go any further, and at this rate you'll end up with a restraining order on you. ... (read in full...)
Help! Why is it so hard for him to understand that I won't jeopordise our relationship?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. We found each other (you can say) at the same job. We work together constantly side by side almost every day from the time we start work till when we get off and still spend time with other. Our ...
A. 22 September 2010: There comes a point when you have to accept that this is no longer your problem. And this is the time.
Your boyfriend is suffering from severe insecurity, and that's his problem. He should be dealing with it, and should have dealt with it befo... (read in full...)
Why do I still talk to him, see him and listen to his crap?
Q. I met and dated this guy when I was 22. I truly fell for him and a few weeks later found out he had a girlfriend. We were always off and on regardless because i wanted to be with him. He always had girlfriends but never could choose to be with me ...
A. 22 September 2010: I think you like the idea of being able to change him, to tame him. I think you need to look carefully at yourself, your self esteem and your lifestyle. Everything. You come across as someone who wants to be loved, and you seem to think that by ... (read in full...)
My usually unemotional partner just blew up at me and broke up!
Q. Hi all. My partner is so laid back i want to wind him up sometimes like a clock. lol. He does not gripe about anything or get annoyed only about the payments to his ex wife now and then. Will not discuss any problems or issues, just carries on doing ...
A. 22 September 2010: I think you're better off without him. He is the one with the issues, not you. All his problems are most likely connected to his past marriage, and maybe you now know why that marriage broke down too. He clearly just can't communicate with people, ... (read in full...)
Does he love me and want me?
Q. hi i need to know whether i am mad! i have taken my boyfriend back twice but the second he came back to me, he was in love with this girl and yet he came crying to me and said he wanted to be with me, yet now he says he loves both of us but he wants ...
A. 22 September 2010: How many more times will you take him back? Ten? Twenty? He's just playing you, and he's playing the other woman as well. Don't bother with a guy who can't give you all. Don't settle for a guy who doesn't tell you he loves you, but loves another ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my partner that everyone at work knows about our relationship?
Q. I have started a new relationship with an ex colleague. I told a few of my closest friends at work and asked them to keep it to themselves. One of them has spread the news all over the office. My new partner has mentioned coming back into work to ...
A. 22 September 2010: I think it would be a good idea to say that they know. You don't want him to arrive and not know anything only to have to face questions all the time. Just relax and tell him. I'm sure he won't mind. ... (read in full...)
I think my nipples are too big
Q. Hi, so I have a pretty embarrassing question. I have fairly small breasts, barely a B cup but my nipples are pretty large and dark. They haven't been too much of a concern to me in the past but I now have a boyfriend that I would like to start ...
A. 22 September 2010: Guys won't care. And any guy who does isn't worth your time. Don't worry at all. ... (read in full...)
He told me to go blow my brains out!
Q. I was with this guy for 2 years and we used to live close by eachother.I loved him so much but we started fighting all the time and he has a huge temper and anger problem so I moved away from him and also broke up. I also realized that our ...
A. 22 September 2010: This guy needs professional help. I would advise you never to speak to him, see him or respond to him again. ... (read in full...)
Trouble with the father of my child......
Q. what should i do someone please help. my daughters father an i are now not together. because he thinks he can lie an get away with it. but what he didnt know is that i find out everything. well now he still wants to hang out and tell me to drop ...
A. 21 September 2010: DON'T go back to him. Your child does not need to have a crap father around. And him blaming you is all you need to be sure that he's a total waste of breath. Clean him out for all the money you can, and give the best life you can to your daughter. ... (read in full...)
Are women satisfied with average size penis or do they fantasize about bigger penises?
Q. hello everybody, thanks for the time i would spend in order to answer my question :D mu question is mostly for women who are married to men with average penis size, i just wanna know are the women in this situation really satisfied with their hu...
A. 21 September 2010: I would imagine that women fantasize about a man who knows how to use his penis properly to give her pleasure than about size. ... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable?
Q. I have been dating the same girl for about 18 months, and we have had few problems, other then one reoccurring thing. When we first started dating, she lied to me about something saying she didn't do it, and swore to me, only for me to f...
A. 21 September 2010: "She is not a flirt" - Wrong. She clearly is if she's doing all this with other guys.
"She does love me, I can tell" - Is that why she lies and sleeps on the couch with other guys?
Your age doesn't matter anyway.
"I've asked her not to drink unl... (read in full...)
How do I convince him that he is good enough for me?
Q. ok,well my bf broke up with me, he broke up with me because he didnt wasnt able to call me 3 times and he feels like hes a bad boyfriend and that i deserve someone better,i KNOW he loves me,i know that for sure,but how do i convince him that he is ...
A. 21 September 2010: I notice the one thing your psychic neglected to tell you was that you can't change a man. No disrespect, but don't place your plans, love life or anything else in the hands is a psychic.
The truth is, when a man says he's not good enough, usua... (read in full...)
In a relationship with a compulsive liar.....
Q. Hope somebody can help me. I'm in a relationship with a guy who's a compulsive liar. He bends the truth about issues large and small and will resort to telling lies, regardless of the situation. He is a good person and I love him but I can not ...
A. 21 September 2010: He's not a good person if he lies all the time. He's not a good person if he's overprotective. He's not a good person if he's jealous and won't let you have your own time. And he's certainly not a good person if he's becoming more and more ... (read in full...)
Should I go for a new relationship or fight for my ex and I to get back together?
Q. I broke up with my one year and a half boyfriend who, I’m not gonna lie, was kind of an asshole. The thing is, our relationship was just amazing and super passionate ( when he wasn’t acting like a beeetch ). So when I broke up with him he f***ing ...
A. 21 September 2010: First of all, forget the new guy. You're not over your ex, and it would be very unfair of you to go out with him when you know you can't give him 100% of your attention.
As for your ex, you would be very naive to go back to him. He's clearly not ... (read in full...)
After cancelling a date due to illness, should I be the one to make the next move? Or should I wait for him to ask me out again?
Q. Can anyone help me please with a quick dating etiquette question? I cancelled a date as I was unwell and now I'm wondering if I should be the one to make the next move and invite him out or if I should I wait to see if he asks me again? I don't want ...
A. 21 September 2010: If you cancelled, you need to make the next move, or he'll think you're not interested and that it was an excuse. ... (read in full...)
My friend wants to have a threesome!
Q. I have these friend that wants me to have threesome with him, but he is married, the party is his friend a male, and I'm confused since I have nt tried it before, so what should I do??...
A. 21 September 2010: Don't do it. He's married. ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to miss your ex?
Q. Iv been in a relationship for 5 months now and never been happier. But recently i have found myself thinking and somwtimes dreaming about my ex alot. Not thoughts of wanting to be back with him, but kind of happy memories and times we spent t...
A. 21 September 2010: It's normal to think of the good times that you had with someone else, even an ex. Especially if the break up wasn't nasty. So yes, it's natural.
But it's also a sign that you probably need to put more effort into your current relationship. You don'... (read in full...)
When I asked her out she said no... but all my friends are saying she really likes me!!!!
Q. Ok, I really like this girl. Everyone has told me that she likes me, but when I ask her out she says no. She says that she doesn't like me "any more" but one of her friends tell me that is a bunch of bull. What can I do and how can I win her back???...
A. 21 September 2010: If she said no, then she said no. Don't listen to her friends. Listen to her. ... (read in full...)
I have small breasts--should I get surgery?
Q. I have small breasts, and I feel very insecure. Should I get surgery? Men have teased me about it, even an ex said big breasts were better. Even hear on DC I've read guys post that guys do tend to prefer big breasts (even though they don't hate ...
A. 20 September 2010: I don't look at Zoo, Nuts and all that. Grew out of it by 16 when I realized real women were much better. Have faith in men a bit more. We don't all slobber over big breasts. We really don't. ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend keeps receiving dirty messages from ex but doesn't want to stop talking to him
Q. Hi I have been with this girl for nearly 2 years.She says she loves me very much and wants to be with me. Normally we have a good relationship. Before she was with me she had another boyfriend whom she cheated on, with a male friend of hers from...
A. 20 September 2010: Dump her for it. She continues to receive the messages, and enjoys it. How long until she decides to meet with this guy? It's him or you. ... (read in full...)
We used a condom, then took it off, 10 minutes later had sex. Could I get pregnant?
Q. The other day my boyfriend and i had sex. He removed the condom and about 10 minutes later we had unprtected sex.. Would the sperm have died by then? Is there any chancce i could become pregnant? Please answer, i'm really worried. Thank...
A. 20 September 2010: If you don't know about sex, you shouldn't be doing it! Sperm can live for days, and won't have died after 10 minutes. Also, the testicles just keep on making sperm, so it's a certainty that there's some inside you having a good time. So yes, there ... (read in full...)
Could my husband have a cheating addiction?
Q. my husband and i have sex all the time. i have never turned him down and i am willing to explore all kinds of dif. things.. i am very in shape take real good care of my appearance. he likes a tanned toned body long hair i have all that ... the ...
A. 20 September 2010: He's not addicted to cheating. No man is. You've just married a selfish, arrogant pig of a man. If he loved you, he wouldn't be dong this. He cheated on his ex, and he cheats on you and plays you against other women. If I were you, I'd ditch this ... (read in full...)
1000 texts late at night...work related?
Q. I had recently caught my wife of 18yrs deleting phone calls from her cell phone to a coworker so I intercepted the phone bill and discovered she had sent 1000 texts to this guy over one months time, some of these were in the middle of the night ...
A. 20 September 2010: She's cheating. But you won't get a real answer out of her, so really dig deep and get some heavy duty proof before you confront her again. But no one, and I mean no one sends 1000 texts in the middle of the night and deletes phone calls all the ... (read in full...)
I have small breasts--should I get surgery?
Q. I have small breasts, and I feel very insecure. Should I get surgery? Men have teased me about it, even an ex said big breasts were better. Even hear on DC I've read guys post that guys do tend to prefer big breasts (even though they don't hate ...
A. 20 September 2010: The problem with all this surgery stuff, is it doesn't really solve the problem. Because if you had surgery, you'd then worry whether a guy wanted you just for your breasts.
The truth is, porn magazines and strip clubs are not the best places for ... (read in full...)
I feel awful for cheating but cant stop thinking about this other guy. What do I do?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost one and a half years. I love him but hes needy and doesnt have many friends and no family so im the only one hes got. Hes very jealous and quite possessive but im very independant and have my own life. I have ...
A. 20 September 2010: The moment you cheated, you discovered that your boyfriend was not the one for you. ... (read in full...)
Do guys mind if their girlfriends talk to their friends about the relationship?
Q. Hey, do guys mind if girls talk to their friends about what's happening in the relationship? Like, I'm dating a guy, and am really excited about it, so have been talking to a friend about it, but he found out about it today (sent him an email meant ...
A. 20 September 2010: Not really. Just don't reveal stuff that is too personal or will embarrass him. And yes, guys do talk about their girlfriends, just not as much. ... (read in full...)
I will not compete with her 'relationship expert' sister!!!
Q. My girkfriend moved out 3 weeks ago. We were in the process to see if we could work things out, everything was going smoothly even last night she said she loved me and would talk to me tommorrow. Her sister was over this morning and must have gave ...
A. 20 September 2010: I honestly would let her go. As you say, you can't compete. And if the best she can do is listen to her sister then leave and not get back into contact, then she's not worth your time.... (read in full...)
Help!!! Is she cheating?
Q. I love my girlfriend so much, but my gut tells me she might be doing something behind my back. Recently she confessed that at one point she was confused on her orientation. Prior to this I had my suspicions, which came true. In the last month she ...
A. 20 September 2010: My gut tells me something is going on as well. I always find the 'what you do if I was cheating" question very suspicious. And that bit about the 'SShhh' and her dismissing it as breathing it also suspicious. But you don't have enough to prove ... (read in full...)
How can I choose?
Q. When two boys wish for you to be their girlfriend how does one choose?...
A. 20 September 2010: The right person stands out. Simple as that. If you can't choose, then neither guy stands out enough. ... (read in full...)
Should I keep supporting my ex girlfriend, and is it irrelevant that she is seeing someone new?
Q. I dated a woman for about a year, she is a single mother of two, and I am a single father of two. From early on, I fell madly in love with all three of them. She was struggling to get by when we first met, because she is a single parent, but also ...
A. 20 September 2010: SOD your ex girlfriend. You're her ATM machine. Stop paying out. ... (read in full...)
Can a "dog" ever change?
Q. Hi, i've been told by people that a guy i know is a "dog" etc... i think i know what that means, do guys who are "dogs" ever change? Would they still act like a "dog" even if they have a girlfriend?...
A. 20 September 2010: Badly behaved dogs are put down. Remember that.
Basically, he'll treat you like crap. They don't change. And please don't be so naive as to think you can make him. ... (read in full...)
How can I choose?
Q. When two boys wish for you to be their girlfriend how does one choose?...
A. 20 September 2010: Neither guy is right for you. At all. ... (read in full...)
How can I choose?
Q. When two boys wish for you to be their girlfriend how does one choose?...
A. 20 September 2010: Neither. If you can't choose, neither guy is right for you. ... (read in full...)
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