| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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His Facebook status is single, but he has messages from a girl. Should I pursue him?
Q. There's a guy that I dated in 9th grade in high school for about a month. We were kids then and not knowledgeable of what a relationship was so we went our seperate ways but I have always felt very drawn and attracted to him...like he was the one. ...
A. 9 September 2010: I think if his baby's mother is saying she loves him and they'll be together forever, it's best to stay well away. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend thinks I should "let her off" and allow her to cheat!
Q. My girlfriend confessed to cheating on me by saying that she's developed feelings for another guy, who also happens to be an old friend of mine. He knows that i and her are in a relationship but even then she was attracted to him after he said that ...
A. 9 September 2010: I'm with everyone else. Dump her.... (read in full...)
Should I let him be part of my child's life?
Q. Well a few months ago my boyfriend and I were living together, happy relationship, and we find out that we're having a baby. Everything seemed to be going good (or so I thought). Then when I was 5 months pregnant I find out he had been cheating on ...
A. 9 September 2010: No. Get a court order, make sure he never comes near you or your child. Also, don't put his name on the birth certificate. ... (read in full...)
I think our breaking up was a giant mistake
Q. My gf broke up with me a few weeks ago. I've been broken up about this all this time. I tried to ignore her, I've tried talking to her, but nothing's working. I get the feeling that years from now, she might regret what she did, and I'll regret not ...
A. 9 September 2010: My friend, your gut is telling you that this was wrong because you were the one who got dumped. If you'd dumped her, you'd be thinking you'd made the right decision.
The bottom line is that this girl has checked out of your relationship, and has ... (read in full...)
I slept with him knowing he has a girlfriend
Q. Hi, i'm writing this as i feel lost and very confused. Me and a male friend went out for drinks and i ended up drinking a lot that evening, he was drinking also but didn't seem that drunk. We were walking home and he held my hand, i let him as i ...
A. 9 September 2010: His girlfriend isn't stupid. She's unlucky. She trusts him, and he's clever enough not to get caught. So she's not stupid.
I won't say you're stupid yet, but if you continue with this guy, the you will be.
Use your brain. This guy cheated ... (read in full...)
Do men get PMS?
Q. Hi I have been with my boyfriend for a year and eight months, and have been engaged for the past five months. I have been confused by the way he acts sometimes. I had a family dinner with my parents and his parents. Earlier, or before the dinner, he ...
A. 9 September 2010: No, we don't. But we can be tired and stressed, or we can be assholes.
I think you're reading a lot into this. I suspect he was tired. But he did treat you like crap, and if you don't take a hard line now, he'll do it again.
Be mad, but calm whe... (read in full...)
Dad walked in on us having sex!
Q. last week when i fort my mum and step dad was asleep me and my boyfriend had sex but my step dad walked in on us and went mad and said that im too young to be having sex he didnt tell my mum but now his tryin to stop me seeing my bf how can i tell ...
A. 9 September 2010: If you are 16 and over, it's legal. If you're under 16, then stop because you're breaking the law. Just be honest. Tell them that the law says you can have sex when you're over 16, and that it's your choice. Tell them you appreciate your concern, ... (read in full...)
My 14 year old daughter is having sex with a 19 year old. How to handle this?
Q. i walked into my 14 year old step daughters room and found her having sex with her boyfriend who i later found out is 19 the age gap is really worryin me i dont think 14 year old girls would went to have sex do u think he couldve made her do it or ...
A. 9 September 2010: Call the police, tell them. Sure, your step daughter will throw her toys out the pram. But it's better than her being with a borderline paedophile. ... (read in full...)
don't want to leave him but hes got too much baggage... all we do is fight...HELP!?
Q. MOD NOTE: OP's own title. I've been with my current boyfriend for 4 years on and off and we live together now, but all we do is fight. we fight about everything from his drug dealing drinking having people over all the time and messing up the hous...
A. 9 September 2010: I'm honestly not sure what you're asking for anymore. Your life will just be ruined by this guy. You're right, you're totally blinding yourself to the fact that this guy is basically scum. I mean that. But he is. He sells drugs. If you think a drug ... (read in full...)
One of my photographers recently has asked me to do more adult work for a private portfolio. Is this cheating?
Q. I am in a great loving relationship (5 years). I recently (a year ago) quit a well paying job as a stripper. I do artistic nude modeling to help make ends meet as my "respectable" job doesn't pay too well. One of my photographers re...
A. 8 September 2010: I'll start this with a story I know of about a woman who lives in my town.
She needed £300 ($500 or so). So a photographer said he'd pay her to do an explicit shoot for a private portfolio. She did it. Except he posted the pics on the net. Her boyf... (read in full...)
Cursing...
Q. Would you allow your boyfriend to curse at you and call you a bitch during an argument? ...
A. 8 September 2010: No. I'm a guy, and even in a heated argument, I've not stooped that low. ... (read in full...)
don't want to leave him but hes got too much baggage... all we do is fight...HELP!?
Q. MOD NOTE: OP's own title. I've been with my current boyfriend for 4 years on and off and we live together now, but all we do is fight. we fight about everything from his drug dealing drinking having people over all the time and messing up the hous...
A. 8 September 2010: Love isn't any good id the person you're with is crap. Which he is. What happens when he's jailed? Or when he starts to spike your drinks, or if you have a child who becomes a drug addict or dealer? Or when you're jailed as an accessory?
Leave him.... (read in full...)
I'm 43, she's 18 & pregnant and I didn't know she wanted more than sex. I don't want this!
Q. im 43 and slept with an 18 year old and now shes pregnant but thats not the only problem she said that she fort we was going out when we slept together i knew she gets very close to people too fast but i didnt realise she wanted more than sex i fort ...
A. 8 September 2010: Unlucky. Crack out the wallet on this one, because you have a responsibility for it.... (read in full...)
How can you be cheating and committed in a marriage?
Q. I'm in a relationship with a married man have been for 6yrs. I love him he tells me he has feelings for me and he is very fond of me he doesn't want this to end His family is all grown up and married ,but what he tells me i find hard to understa...
A. 8 September 2010: What he's really saying is that he will never leave his wife for you. You're the mistress he uses for sex, and his wife does everything else. So the real question you should be asking is whether you want to be second best, because this is as far as ... (read in full...)
Its bothering me that my b/f is friends with his ex
Q. hi, i have a problem with my boyfriend being friends with his ex. they were together for about four years and broke up about two years ago. she cheated on him and broke his heart. he says shes not a very nice person, very selfish and only talks a...
A. 8 September 2010: She cheated, broke his heart, he says she's not nice, is selfish and talks about herself. Yet his only excuse is that he 'finds it hard to get people out of his life'
Bull. He still fancies her, but won't go back so has come to you. I'd think very... (read in full...)
Is he playing or using both woman?
Q. Here's the deal, you're a woman that has been involved with a man for an extended period of time(more than 3 yrs) and you find out that while he has been sleeping with you he has hidden the fact he has a live in GF. Would you say that this man is...
A. 8 September 2010: Close the door in his face. ... (read in full...)
He's confused about his girlfriend and oscillates between wanting to be friends and then wanting more from me
Q. Hi,can someone tell me if this situation is fixable? about month ago I ran into my chilhood crush who I haven't seen in 15 yrs. We started talkin and to my suprise he had a crush on me too back then. The problem now is he has an on/off girlfriend of ...
A. 8 September 2010: You basically need to shift this guy out of your life. You may miss him, but you're just utterly wasting your time waiting around because you're basically the spare he would come to when it doesn't work with his current girlfriend. This guy clearly ... (read in full...)
Has my lying ex-bf has returned to torment me! What should I do?
Q. My ex has come back! I don't know what to do. I had this ex, that I thought I had gotten rid of. He used to lie to me all the time about everything but I gave him a chance anyway :( but it didn't work and I left him. We're nothing but a huge mess ...
A. 8 September 2010: No, no. You may love him, but he couldn't care a less about you. Don't be fooled by the tears and all that. Men like this aren't totally stupid when it comes to gaining control over women. But women can be naive at times, and will fall for this ... (read in full...)
Feeling guilt about how I want to cheat on my bf..what's wrong with me?
Q. I keep thinking about cheating on my boyfriend and then feeling so guilty afterwards I almost cry. Ive been with him for 3 years and live with him. I do honestly love him and dont know what I would do if I lost him so why do I keep getting tempted? ...
A. 8 September 2010: The truth is, your relationship with your boyfriend has come to the end. You're a young women, and your head and heart are telling you to be out there with other guys having fun. From everything you've said, you're coming across as a woman who is in ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is drinking everyday and I am lost here..what can I do?
Q. my boyfriend drinks every day first thing he does is has a beer when he wakes up....just there this evening he vomited for no reason he says it his nose being blocked up making him sick which i don't believe...i have a 2 year old son who dotes on ...
A. 8 September 2010: Yes you can break that bond. And you must. After all, if you don't, next thing is your own son will be an alcoholic too. ... (read in full...)
I really miss my ex boyfriend and want to know how to persuade him to come back to me.
Q. Hey everyone, recently my boyfriend of two months broke up with me, and I'm absolutely gutted about it :/ I really started to fall hard for him and believe that it was one of the most successful relationships I've had so far. We saw each other very ...
A. 8 September 2010: One of the hardest things in life is to accept that something is over. That's what you have to do here. A lot of people don't want relationships to end, and want to try and persuade their ex's to come back without looking at the clear facts in front ... (read in full...)
Why does he not want to be my friend???
Q. A guy and I expressed an attraction for one another. We flirted a lot and both felt like there was this "something" about the other that drew us to each other but we never actually dated. He ultimately felt like we couldn't do this and I was ...
A. 8 September 2010: Because he wanted to be more than 'just friends'. It's almost impossible to become friends when one person feels more for the other in some way. Maybe he was looking for sex, maybe he was looking for a relationship. Either way, he fancied you and ... (read in full...)
Is there any way that you can make someone want you?
Q. I know this may sound silly but ive seen it happen before and i jsut wondered if there was a chance, is there any way that you can make someone want you after they've said they dont. I know that does kinda answer itself as a big NO but theres so...
A. 8 September 2010: It's unlikely. You may well suggest you've seen loads of people suddenly come together after 'realizing' they've made a mistake. But you're not counting that fact that so many more people never change their mind.
You've got to be realistic. This... (read in full...)
I think my baby is another mans!
Q. hey i really do need some advice,basically i gave birth to my daughter on the 24th august an the thing im worried about is she looks nothink like the guy i thought was her dad as from the due date the doctor gave me i automatically said ye hes the ...
A. 8 September 2010: You need to do a DNA test, now. If you don't, then yo'll cause your two men significant trouble, and your child will grow up not knowing who it is. The only way to be sure is a DNA test. And it's worth getting it over and done with. You don't want ... (read in full...)
I'm scared I'm obsessed with my ex!!!
Q. Can someone help me? I'm scared i'm obsessed with my ex. Hes actually not even my ex, just a guy I was talking to for ages and met once but now he's gone back to his ex. If I text him or contact him, he doesnt always reply, I know that he doesnt ...
A. 8 September 2010: I'm afraid you are totally obsessed with a man who isn't interested at all. Even if you did spend time together, there would be no way he would change his mind at all. I think the only option you have is to delete his number and contacts as quickly ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong? please help.
Q. MODS NOTE: OP's own title. Okay there is this dude. and he has a girlfriend but we like each other and talk alot. we hung out friday night with some friends, that knew about the situation. and sunday i went to the lake with him and had sooo much fun,...
A. 8 September 2010: He is cheating, not physically but emotionally. He has a girlfriend, so until he's single, back away. You don't want a reputation as a girl who is untrustworthy and steals other women's boyfriends. Men won't like you for it, and women won't trust ... (read in full...)
don't want to leave him but hes got too much baggage... all we do is fight...HELP!?
Q. MOD NOTE: OP's own title. I've been with my current boyfriend for 4 years on and off and we live together now, but all we do is fight. we fight about everything from his drug dealing drinking having people over all the time and messing up the hous...
A. 8 September 2010: The moment you said that he was drug dealing I pretty thought much you should dump him. Do you really want your life to be associated with a drunk drug dealer who argues with you and lives on welfare for the rest of his life? Probably not. Leave. ... (read in full...)
Good man, but not in love...what do I do?
Q. ok, so I'm 36 so in theory should be old enough to know what I want. But, I'm wracked with self-doubt and indecision. I have a 6 year relationship with a good (if dull) man. We are engaged and have one lovely gorgeous daughter. But I don't love ...
A. 6 September 2010: I would say that this might be worth fixing first. He is a good man, and what you're feeling could be effects of having your daughter, or just that your relationship needs kicking into gear a bit. I think it's worth sitting down and explaining that ... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend but tells my friends he likes me?
Q. im so confused. ive known this guy for about a year now, weve slowly become better friends, hung out in groups of friends alot, never alone. over the past couple of months things between us got a lil more flirty, all innocent though, then i found ...
A. 6 September 2010: 1 - He has a girlfriend.
2 - He has a reputation as a player.
You're basically the next person on his list, nothing more. This guy really is one to avoid. You don't want to get a reputation as a homewrecker and looks bad in front of others f... (read in full...)
Did I deserve to be slapped in the face?
Q. Ok where to start ... Me and my boyfriend have been together 3 and a half years and last weekend (4th september) we went out with friends for my birthday. There was 3 of my friends and one of his. We had all drunk far too much and my boyfrien...
A. 6 September 2010: This is the start. I've been drunk, yet I've never hit a woman. Plenty of other guys have been drunk, they've never hit girls. You should just end it now.... (read in full...)
Did I deserve to be slapped in the face?
Q. Ok where to start ... Me and my boyfriend have been together 3 and a half years and last weekend (4th september) we went out with friends for my birthday. There was 3 of my friends and one of his. We had all drunk far too much and my boyfrien...
A. 6 September 2010: DON'T DEFEND HIM! He's an abuser, and you should dump him. Read up on women in Britain who have been killed by domestic violence, or have ended up in hospital. This time it was as slap. Next time it will be a punch. Then something much worse. Don't ... (read in full...)
I'm 14 with an 8 inch penis but I'm worried that it might get too big!
Q. I'm 14... I have an 8 inch penis. I'm worried that eventually it's going to to be too big. Does anybody think this may be an issue?...
A. 6 September 2010: I don't think it will be a problem. Just be gentle when it comes to sex in the future. ... (read in full...)
Help! How can I stop becoming so wet?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for well over a year, before anyone starts going all judgemental on me- I've had my hands down his pants, he's had his hands down mine. No biggie... Just lately, he's been commenting on how wet I am down there, and how ...
A. 6 September 2010: There's nothing you can do about it. It's a perfectly normal reaction. You're a normal girl. Don't worry. If he doesn't like it, then he doesn't understand women!... (read in full...)
How long can a man stay mad? Will he ever call me back or is it his way to say it's over?
Q. The man I love (dating for 3 months..) isn't talking to me anymore since Wednesday because of an argument over the phone. This argument shouldn't have taken place at all. It was stupid and I should have realized he was going through a lot of stress ...
A. 6 September 2010: You've just got to let him come to you. If it takes more than 14 days, then it's probably best to just end it. ... (read in full...)
My fiance insults my appearance
Q. My Fiancee often insults mt appearance, telling me that i have a double chin, and he likes thin girls. he also tells me i look fat in certain clothes. he will give me backhanded comliments like" you look so nice today i wish you'd look like this ...
A. 6 September 2010: You should not be marrying this man. ... (read in full...)
Do people who are meant to be together always find their way back to each other?
Q. Do you guys on DearCupid belive that people that are meant to be together always find their way back in the end? x x x...
A. 6 September 2010: I never believe that people are 'meant to be together'. I believe that if you meet someone and something clicks, you can both work together to make a relationship work. But I think those who think 'they are meant to be together' more than frequently ... (read in full...)
I know I should end it with the married man but I'm afraid of being alone!
Q. Hi, To cut a long story short to start with my husband left me in Feb 2010 for the woman he left his 1st wife for 14 years ago. I met a guy - call him David - at the beginning of June, started off well, we really hit it off. Couldn't see ...
A. 5 September 2010: You already are alone. You're there. You're deluding yourself that you're not alone. It's not like this married man cares for you. He doesn't. He comes and goes as he pleases, and you sit there letting him do it. You're more alone now than you would ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend broke up with me because I was best man in a friends wedding!
Q. Girlfriend wants to end us and is really upset and mad at me. From the start we have got on like house on fire. 1 year down the line she says im a selfish, lying, twofaced person. I have stopped seeing my friends and moved into her house, it ta...
A. 5 September 2010: Man you need to wake up!!
Look at what you're writing. Your girlfriend has removed you from friends, she's made your journey to work absolute hell, she's hacking into your facebook, spying on you, looking at other, and even moaned about you goin... (read in full...)
Is he just being a flirt?
Q. This guy i have liked for ages has recently split with his gf I have slept with him b4 his gf was even on road, so yeah backed off a bit when found out he was seeing someone, anyway even when he was with her he was sending things 2 me on fb like ...
A. 5 September 2010: I'm afraid you need to snap out of this slight daze you're in over this guy and see him for what he is. He was having sex with you, then he met another girl. He was still sending you sex stuff and webcams, so he was basically cheating on her. Now ... (read in full...)
Why does he say it's just for now and not forever?
Q. Hello, im having a problem understanding this boy ive met online. i like him and he likes me too, but deep down id like to be serious. he doesnt live in the same country as me and hinted he could visit and that we should meet up. He is who he says ...
A. 5 September 2010: He's not serious. He knows that this won't work out, and is only in for one meeting and one meeting only. He doesn't live in the same country, and he has said himself that whatever happens will happen only now, and will not continue into the future. ... (read in full...)
My teacher has hit on me help please
Q. ok so guys i need help before the six weeks hoilday my it teacher tried to hit on me,i do fancie him a little but her promied me that he would let me pass my exams if i would have sex with him and he would give me an a but i didnt and i keep get...
A. 5 September 2010: You need to tell. What he's doing is beyond unprofessional, it's appalling. There is no way he can promise to pass your exams, since they will be checked outside the school. He's just trying to bed you. And if he is trying to get you into bed, he ... (read in full...)
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