A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Help! I have been with my boyfriend for about 3 years. Wev'e had some problems in the past with me drinking hard liquor which made me crazy and flip out. Plus I've lost my job almost a year ago so I am stressed to the max. So we broke up got back together in the past maby twice. Now a week ago I had another episode where i drank and flew off the handle bars at his house. Since than I've quit drinking and feel so much better. Anyway he's no angel either. So at this point he write me an e-mail I'm drained mentally just want to be alone right now etc...He was my life. We were going to move in together and start a life together. Now I lost him. He was the only thing I had to look forward to. I take full responsibility but am deeply sadden because of my actions. I just want to make things better between us.....Advice ps. we also planned a trip in Nov this year..It's booked and everything. I know thats the least of my problems but do you think he will still want to go. How could you be with someone for that period of time and than not want to work it out. I mean thats the type of person I am. Want to fix the problem right away..but i know it doesn't work that way.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 September 2010):
 It's hard to say, but I think you need to focus on yourself a bit more here. IF it is a pattern that you "behave badly" when drunk, you need to stop drinking.
If not, I doubt you will have a successful relationship.
A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (16 September 2010):
 the reality is that lots of people drink and dont become abusive. this man has probably had a lot to deal with that you dont remember. it sounds like that episode last week was the straw that broke the camels back.
unless you can change getting back with him will only prolong his inevitable departure.
stay off the drink (easier said than done) and try and stabalise your personality and make a life that interests you and keeps you active and busy cos you'll need something to take your mind off this situation.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (16 September 2010):
 Your drinking and the way you acted made him finally leave. After 3 years of alcohol, and breaking up then making up enough is enough. A lot could happen in 2 months but don't count on him changing his mind. Apologize to him, let him know you're done with Jack, Jose, and Jim for good. To prove him tell you're going to go to AA meetings in your area..or seek counseling. I'm not saying your an alcoholic and every one has their vices but at this point I'm sure you're willing to do anything to get him back. If he doesn't care, then all you can do is respect his space and eventually accept that it's really over this time. Alcohol is never the answer, it only makes your problems go away momentarily then they're back the next day when you're dry sober.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (16 September 2010):
I think you're done with this one. He may not be an angel, but throughout your drinking, he took a lot of abuse from you. I think the last argument may well have finished him off. You ask how he could be with someone for so long and not try to work it out. I say he already has tried, and it's got nowhere.
The only thing you can do is write him a letter, explaining that you have now dropped the drink and you are really trying to fix this. Explain you'r sorry, and that you take responsibility for your actions and drinking. Maybe he'll listen, maybe he won't. You'll be lucky though, because I think he's just had enough.
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