A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My ex-boyfriend and I have been broken up for over 6 months. I think that our break-up was for the best, as we may not have been the best for each other. We used to live together, but he moved out when he decided to end the relationship. I was hurt at first, because I had tried to be supportive of him during the illness of his relative and family problems, even putting his needs ahead of mine. I realize that wasn't the best thing to do. He has been through so much stress during our relationship, and he said that I helped him more than anyone else. Now, he acts like I am just another stress in his life---he rarely even returns my texts, and still hasn't even been willing to talk about our argument.I have tried to remain his friend. He said numerous times that he wanted to remain friends, he appreciates me, we will always be close, etc.A few weeks ago, he made a comment that he was "moving on". It was a weird comment, out of the blue, and I told him I didn't see what the point of it was. I was asking him how he was doing and why he seemed so distant, and that was his response. I told him I was worried about him repaying me some money I loaned him during our relationship, and bills I paid for his family. He made a catty comment about how he would get it for me. I told him that I was only trying to be his friend, and that I am dating someone else and have already moved on.He got upset (again, all of this is over text, as he refuses to actually talk on the phone) and kind of rude, and I got upset, and I asked for my keys back (he had the keys to my place as I trusted him, and he hadn't been that rude to me before. He got upset that I asked for them back. However, he won't tell me where he has moved and told me that he didn't feel comfortable telling me, so, it is a weird situation to say the least.I feel bad because he always treats me like I am the person who hurt his feelings. However, I am the one who tried to be there for him when other people were not, and I do care for him as a person. I am okay with us not being a couple, as we just aren't the best together. It just hurts that I feel like I did so much to be supportive, and now, he treats me like I am this horrible person. :( I am not sure how to get past feeling sad for him and what he has gone through with his family, with also feeling like I did everything I could to be supportive, and now there is the possibility that he is leaving me with bills that he made, and is treating me like I am a problem.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for your advice. :)It is hard for me to think of my ex as a bad person. And I still don't think he is. Also, the difficulties and the health issues in his family were definitely a very difficult thing to have to go through. So, part of me feels bad that he has gone through so much in such a short period of time, and another part of me feels like he doesn't see how much I cared for him and why I don't understand why he is being the way he is now.Sigh.I think, in a sad way, that I remind him of those difficulties, and he just wants to not be reminded of it. Which I understand, I just wish he wasn't rude to me in the process.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (16 September 2010):
This is a really good reason to walk away and cut contact with him. This is nothing to do with you. It's just him. You helped him, you were there for him and he used you emotionally to get what he wanted. He got that, and has now moved on. You now need to move on yourself, of you risk just sitting there depressed while far better guys pass you by. He has used you, and has sadly got away with it. Now you need to get away from him.
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