| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
|
Is he not taking our wedding plans seriously?
Q. We got engaged on March and decided the date of our wedding to be March 19, 2011. I heard it's best to start planning 1 yr ahead and so that's what i started to do with my mother's help. However, he always seemed to get upset about it saying I am ...
A. 31 August 2010: This really is why men just give up with planning the marriage in the end. It just becomes too stressful, so they let the woman take most of it on.
First of all, yes he cares! It's clear beyond a doubt that he cares! And yes he's taking it seri... (read in full...)
She won't divorce her husband to be with me! What should I do?
Q. Hi, I am 21 years old, and my gf is 15 years older than me, and she is married from last 17 years, having 2 daughters staying with her husband, her husband is like not good not even bad, we are from different countries so we are million miles away, ...
A. 31 August 2010: If she was going to leave, she would have done a long time ago. You're in the position a lot of female mistresses find themselves in with married men. You provide the fun, her husband provides everything else. She will never leave her husband, and ... (read in full...)
Is it a problem if she's taller?
Q. So my question is, are guys put off if a girl is taller than them? I'm 5 10, and love being tall. My ex bf hated it if I wore heels, though, as I'd be maybe an inch taller than him. So now, I've been asked out by a guy who is maybe a little bit ...
A. 31 August 2010: I love tall girls!! And so do many other men. Some guys will feel intimidated, but a lot won't. Just try not to worry. If this guy is shorter than you, he's probably worried that you won't fancy him because of that. ... (read in full...)
She sees her guy friends more than she sees me
Q. My girlfreind is constantly putting me second best to her male and female freinds. she seems to think that i try and make her sit at home all day everyday whilst i work, but this isnt true. i dont mind her seeing her female freinds whenever she ...
A. 31 August 2010: Friend, even after you broke with her three times and she promised to change, nothing has changed and you're still being taken for a ride. You have got to end it for good. She's so clearly used to getting her own way with everyone, and when she ... (read in full...)
What do guys my age think of young ladies like me???
Q. I am a 23yr old virgin. Whenever I go out men are always complimenting me..asking if Im a model.. and trying to get my number. I am tall, i work out, eat healthy, am very stylish/classy, and I love God. I live with my dad, grandma, and my dog. I ...
A. 31 August 2010: Most will love it. Some won't. Again, it depends on the guy. Overall, please don't worry about any of this. ... (read in full...)
Is it me or is it ED?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together 3 months. He is 30 years old and we seem to be having sexual problems. Some time I can not make him get hard, other times we start to have sex and he goes soft or we go forever and he never cums. I have only had ...
A. 31 August 2010: It's him. And if he's had it with two women and he's only 30, he should probably see a doctor. Just be gentle with him, as ED can be a big thing for guys. ... (read in full...)
If I do this does he have any rights as he is an unwed father?
Q. i pregant 3 and half months now and the father of the baby said he be there but he's not he hasn't spoke to me since he said that. now i going to have to make one of the hardest choices in my life and my unborn childs one. on the 20th of september i ...
A. 31 August 2010: Even after that list, I'm sad to say that this sorry excuse for a man has certain rights if he chooses to fight for them. However, sometimes courts recognize a crap parent and will make certain decisions. But, let's say in ten years time he wanted ... (read in full...)
Should I fight for us? or let us go?
Q. hi my boyfriend has just broke up with me a few days ago, and i dont know how to feel about it! i felt like he put me second so i would moan and argue with him n he said he has had enough of me and doesnt want to be with me anymore! he ...
A. 31 August 2010: At first, I thought that maybe you two could have sorted this out by talking. Then at the end you admitted that you'd been together for 3 years, and in that time basically he has never wanted to meet your friends or really go out with you, but was ... (read in full...)
What do guys like in girls?
Q. What do guys like in girls? Do they like straight teeth, blonde hair, brown hair, certain color eyes, etc. Also, what personality do they want girls to have?...
A. 31 August 2010: We answer this a lot. Unfortunately, there is no straight answer because men like different things. Some men will like tall girls, others short girls. Some will like blonds, others brunettes, others redheads. Some will like curly hair, some straight ... (read in full...)
Operation: Get BFF back
Q. My best friend seems to not like me anymore. I mean, she doesn't completely ignore me, like she responds if I ask her something, but she doesn't really hang out with me. We use to be really close and talk all the time and stuff, but now there is ...
A. 31 August 2010: I would just be honest with her, and say that you've noticed your friendship seems to be getting a little distant and that you miss her. That way you'll know where you stand more.
You're at an age where your friends are going to change, so some... (read in full...)
What do guys think of girls with short hair?
Q. I really want my hair cut shorter and wanted to ask guys what they think of short hair on girls? I'm 17 and hang around with people who are into festivals and indie stuff but I'd like views from a wider group of guys (and girls I guesss) who aren't ...
A. 31 August 2010: If you want to do it, then do it. Whilst guys will judge on appearance, the good ones do understand that there is more to a woman than just that. So if you want to cut your hair short, then cut it short. If you don't like the style after that, or ... (read in full...)
I act like one of the guys!
Q. Hiiiiiiiii :) I'm 15 and a bit of a goth. A lot of guys avoid me because of that and my friends say i act like ' one of the guys '. Is there anyway i can stop being one of the guys?...
A. 30 August 2010: Why? You don't have to change to suit other people. Just be yourself. You don't attract the right guy by changing into something you're not. You attract him by being who you are. If you're a bit of a goth, and 'one of the guys', then just be that ... (read in full...)
It's been three weeks since the "date" what should I do?
Q. I recently found a guy I had dated 20years ago again and we started talking and texting each other every day for a week then went out on a date and all the feelings I had for him back then were still there. The date was great and he asked me out on ...
A. 30 August 2010: I'm sorry to say this, but at 3 weeks he should have been in contact if he was interested. You could try ringing him, but like I say, at three weeks and after he asked you out on a second date, I'd say that he'd moved on. An interested guy will ... (read in full...)
What do guys my age think of young ladies like me???
Q. I am a 23yr old virgin. Whenever I go out men are always complimenting me..asking if Im a model.. and trying to get my number. I am tall, i work out, eat healthy, am very stylish/classy, and I love God. I live with my dad, grandma, and my dog. I ...
A. 30 August 2010: The right guy will think you're a gem. The wrong one will think you're a challenge. So you stick to your beliefs and morals, and when you meet the right guy, you'll be perfectly fine. Take your time. ... (read in full...)
I should not get back with him right?
Q. I'm getting confused over my ex boyfriend. We broke up back in April, and got back together for like 3 days in May. Ever since, we've been broken up. During our almost 4 year relationship, we had many problems, because he was jealous of my past. Due ...
A. 30 August 2010: You need to be alone and focusing on your own life right now. You've got too many guys and feelings flying around all over the place, and your not dealing with your own problems, which seems to specifically include esteem and confidence problems.
F... (read in full...)
Why did I put up with this for so long?
Q. I've been in a relationship for 6 years. For the first 2 years my partner's ex-wife and son lived abroad but have been living in the same county for the last 4. Just before they returned we moved to a different part of the country for better jobs ...
A. 30 August 2010: You can be as professional, attractive and intelligent as you like. If you're lonely, depressed, unhappy or anything like that, your vulnerability will shine through and you'll attract guys like this.
Not to put a fine point to it, but perhaps you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend won't tell his female friend that he is dating someone!
Q. I have been dating a guy for over 6 months, we've said that we love each other and spend most days/nights together. He has a lot of younger single female friends. He goes for coffee with them from time to time without me. Last night he went to ...
A. 30 August 2010: Yes, you should. Young, single girls and 'coffee'. Whilst that might well be true , him not telling them is a bit more serious, because it means he's hiding you. Overall, you need to look carefully at your relationship, and perhaps do a bit of ... (read in full...)
I want to be with him , but be able to do things with other people!
Q. My boyfriend lives way down in the country about 30mins. from my home. I leave usually every Fri. and go down and spend the weekend with him, but sometimes things come up like me having to be a church the next day early, which is located closer to ...
A. 30 August 2010: Notice how he blames you for everything? And has he said anything about 'drifting' apart for some time? No. Believe me, I know a shyster when I hear/see/sense one. This guy isn't getting the control he wants over you, so is moving on. ... (read in full...)
Is our relationship doomed to fail?
Q. Hello all. Im 21 and after a year and a half of a long distance relationship I ended it with my boyfriend (whose 24). Why? His friend spilt out everything to me, He told me how my boyfriend has repetitively cheated on me whilst we're apart. So I ...
A. 30 August 2010: Proposed! You said yes! I'd say congratulations, except for that fact that you're in a huge mess here. This guy cheated on you several times, has proved nothing at all other than he can sweet talk you, and you've fallen for it all!
You need to end ... (read in full...)
I'm ending all contact with my ex. Is there still a chance he will come back?
Q. My ex boyfriend of 4 months broke up with me last February, because he wasn't ready for a commitment, and he didn't know what he wanted. The whole, "It's not you it's me" deal. I was heartbroken because I was happy. Since then we would hang out ...
A. 30 August 2010: The trouble with love is that it make you think all these things that are otherwise impossible. All logic is thrown out in favour of total blind belief. You only have to look at other posts on this site to frequently see that love doesn't conquer ... (read in full...)
I want to be with him , but be able to do things with other people!
Q. My boyfriend lives way down in the country about 30mins. from my home. I leave usually every Fri. and go down and spend the weekend with him, but sometimes things come up like me having to be a church the next day early, which is located closer to ...
A. 30 August 2010: You can't deal with a man who wants you pinned so he can control you. He wasn't willing to accept you do anything, and that's a bad sign. As you say, sometimes things come up, sometimes you want to do things with your friends, sometimes you have ... (read in full...)
I know there's something special because otherwise why would we have made out?
Q. Hey i dunno whats going on in my life but if you could help me i,d be grateful. For the past three weeks i,ve been meeting up with a guy and making out , giving head , fingered and other tings we never went the whole way. He 's starting collage soon ...
A. 30 August 2010: I had to feel sorry for you, because you've been so played by this guy. Never, ever make the mistake of thinking that just because you've made out and done stuff with a guy that there is suddenly something special. You can take it from a guy that ... (read in full...)
Why is his communication so lousy?
Q. The first time my ex and I broke up, I called, text, emailed him regularly with no responses! By the time I had finally just gave up, he showed up at my house apologizing and telling me he missed me and still loves me. We get back together for about ...
A. 30 August 2010: How many more times will you take this guy back, only for him to fail again. He just doesn't seem to be able to grasp the idea of a relationship. Instead, every time you have a problem, he just runs away and says nothing. At some point, preferably ... (read in full...)
He came on strong, then backed off -- am I being played?
Q. I need opinions. I’ve been “seeing” this guy for 8 months now. We are not officially dating, but in many ways its like we are. In the beginning, we started out all passionate and intense. He pursued me like crazy and then it was like once he reali...
A. 30 August 2010: Yes, you're being played. He's keeping you around like a spare or something. He doesn't need 'time' to come around. If he wanted to, he could commit now. He's choosing not to, then keeps you around. A routine can change, time can be made and claims ... (read in full...)
Is it too soon to start joining baby clubs?
Q. I am 7 weeks pregnant and really excited!! Do you think it's too soon to start ordering all the freebies and joining baby clubs? I don't want to start buying things for baby until I'm in the second trimester, but is it too soon to start joining al...
A. 30 August 2010: Congratulations! I would definitely recommend joining sites and clubs and such. That way you know what offers will be coming along, and also you can get as much info as you can. ... (read in full...)
How can I show him we are still good for eachother?
Q. I am 53yrs old and just got back into the dating scene about 5 Mths ago. I reacquainted myself with someone I knew in my teenage years. We have been dating for about 5 Mths and now he says we have no chemistry, which somewhat he is right, but I do ...
A. 30 August 2010: My answer remains the same. He still says there's no chemistry, even if that's directed at you and not both of you, because you've changed since he knew you all those years ago. And that's something you won't be able to get back. You can't change ... (read in full...)
Why won't my wife do sexual things with me that she did with men she claims to hate?
Q. So my wife has a promiscuous past and I don't hold it against her. When she asked me about my past lovers, I was an open book. No problem. She, however, doesn't convey much. She is defensive about what she did. I'm ok with that. However, I know she ...
A. 30 August 2010: Because you're supposed to be better than those other guys with whom she did all that stuff. Every time she thinks of what she did, it reminds her of her past which she is unhappy about. I think you just need to accept that she won't do anything ... (read in full...)
How can I get people to accept I am with him?
Q. Hi, im a 19 year old female and around 5 months ago at a work function i ended up hooking up with my 36 year old manager. we both decided against going home together and it happened under the influence of a serious amount of alcohol. but after that ...
A. 30 August 2010: You have the right to want them to accept who you are and your choices. Everyone else has the right to not accept it, and criticize you. That's the way the world works. If it didn't, there would be a lot more problems than there already are.
I ofte... (read in full...)
Did she lie to boost my ego?
Q. So I told my wife the other night that she's the best lover I have ever had. She smilied, waited a bit and then said, "me too baby." I don't know what the pause entailed though. Just taking in the moment or deciding whether or not to tell me a ...
A. 30 August 2010: You're worrying far, far too much. Her reactions are totally truthful, and in some ways indicate that she is becoming a little annoyed with you needing reassurance all the time about something so trivial. That's why she rolled her eyes when you ... (read in full...)
I keep finding things from his ex!
Q. I snooped in my boyfriend flat, wrong I know but I do not trust him. I found an big folder, the biggest one in the pile. His ex g/f was polish and it had all these polish to English translation. Also There were love letters...One said this "You...
A. 30 August 2010: He cheated. And since he had the nerve to lie to your face about it, you were right to dump him. He was not a good guy at alll. ... (read in full...)
Can I live in a non intimate relationship?
Q. My husband never wants sex. Why is that? I have a neighbor,and they are having wild sex,I can hear them every few days. I think ,it is rude, to leave the windows open, but it is like a reminder,what is missing here. Am I guilty to feel deprived and ...
A. 30 August 2010: Have you actually spoken to your husband? He may have erectile dysfunction, or may think you're not interested. I think you need to talk to your husband first before even thinking that this is the end. ... (read in full...)
I have just seen my girl kissing another man, and it hurts, what should I do???
Q. I have just seen the woman of my dreams with another man, we had being messing with each others heads for a while now, but seeing this happen has really made it hit home for me, she is the one i want to be with, and seeing another man with her is ...
A. 30 August 2010: I wouldn't be too sure about who she is. You don't really know, since you saw her with this other man. Whatever happens, she's now seeing someone else and has said nothing to you, or ended it with you. So you're being played one way or another. Walk ... (read in full...)
I have just seen my girl kissing another man, and it hurts, what should I do???
Q. I have just seen the woman of my dreams with another man, we had being messing with each others heads for a while now, but seeing this happen has really made it hit home for me, she is the one i want to be with, and seeing another man with her is ...
A. 30 August 2010: My suspicion of this women is that she is seeing several men all at once. Nothing wrong with that if none of you are committed, I'm afraid. But something wrong if you're looking for more. Basically, if you want a relationship with this women, it's ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend slapped me and told me I deserved it
Q. hi, me and my boyfriend have been going out with each other for 6 months now, one night we were drinking and we got into an argument, and he slapped me, and told me i deserved it, i said you shouldnt of hit me, he said no, i havnt hit you, ive only ...
A. 30 August 2010: Not only will he do it again, but it will get worse. You didn't' deserve it, and you need to walk away from him NOW.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend slept with 2 friends before me.
Q. I moved into a shared house with 3 girls F, D and S, and I started dating F, whilst I was with her the other girl D slept with my best friend. D was in a relationship with a guy she had been friends with a while Z, however whilst they were togeth...
A. 30 August 2010: Nothing you can do. This is who she is. The only thing you can do is get counselling for yourself, or end it. ... (read in full...)
Is this the behavior of a man in love?
Q. I have chatted with him for 7 months. We had an argument about some matter and decided to stop our chatting. We had decided to stop before too ( twice). But he would always text me though i would ignore him. Now, it's a month that he does not text ...
A. 30 August 2010: I think he got tired, to be honest. He didn't really know what love was. But then you stopped chatting three times, and sometimes you'd ignore him even if he tried to talk. I don't think he does love you, he sees to immature. But it seems like ... (read in full...)
Can our relationship become stronger if I just do what he wants me 2 do?
Q. (It would be nice to have guys and girls opinion) Well me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 months now..and like yesterday and Saturday he was acting all weird with me. I asked him what was up? he said nothing at 1st..but he eventual...
A. 30 August 2010: I think this is the first signs of a controlling guy, to be honest. I find it a bit hypocrite of him to say that you're not doing things right, while he doesn't do it himself. And whilst the age gap in a normal sense wouldn't matter, he's basically ... (read in full...)
How do I get my husband to tell his ex to show respect to me n himself?
Q. hi guys! To all those who have an extended family... My husband n I don't really have an issues between us except for his ex! The situation is this; my husband has a child with another woman with whom he hasn't have much of a relationship muc...
A. 30 August 2010: You can't. What can your husband do about this woman? He's already tried and she's just got worse.
What you might be able to do if you play it right is make recordings of her being nasty, keep all letters and emails and make sure the courts then... (read in full...)
I want him to notice me more! how do I do that?
Q. well i am 16 years old i go clubbing drinking and basically living my life to the full! but my mum doesnt know that i drink or go out in town like every week becasue she hust woudnt let me go so i just thought hang on its my life my chioce! anyw...
A. 30 August 2010: So you're drinking underage, and your attitude is 'my life, my choice'. Worse still, the guy you like is a 'Jack the Lad'.
Bad start, very bad start. Terrible start.
First up, genuinely good guys will be very wary of your attitude to your own... (read in full...)
How can I show him we are still good for eachother?
Q. I am 53yrs old and just got back into the dating scene about 5 Mths ago. I reacquainted myself with someone I knew in my teenage years. We have been dating for about 5 Mths and now he says we have no chemistry, which somewhat he is right, but I do ...
A. 30 August 2010: I don't think this can work. Years ago, you may well have had chemistry together. But now, years later, you're basically two different people and he's seen that. You've been dating for 5 months, and he's clearly given it time and thought. He's ... (read in full...)
I love a married man, could he do to me what he did to her?
Q. Im writing this so my head doesn't explode and so i feel sumone is listening, im madly in love with a marrid man, we live together and yet i doubt our reltionship, i that maybe i wont eva stop doubting it as how can you with the cicumstances we met ...
A. 30 August 2010: Why is he still married? And did you start a relationship with him knowing he was married? Because if he had an affair, he will do it to you, and if he won't divorce her, you're in trouble. ... (read in full...)
| *aringGuy's friends
These are mutual friends, so *aringGuy has
added them and they have added *aringGuy!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
