| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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How can I choose?
Q. When two boys wish for you to be their girlfriend how does one choose?...
A. 20 September 2010: The right person stands out. Simple as that. If you can't choose, then neither guy stands out enough. ... (read in full...)
How can I choose?
Q. When two boys wish for you to be their girlfriend how does one choose?...
A. 20 September 2010: Neither guy is right for you. At all. ... (read in full...)
I kept breaking up with him, and now I've lost him for good!
Q. my boyfriend and i have been having relationship problems. I keep screwing up, him and my best friend used to date but it only lasted a week. and now they cant stand each other/hate each other. My boyfriend used to be a loner. didnt go out much, ...
A. 20 September 2010: You're not ready. At all. I know you think you are, but you're not ready for marriage or kids.
Take at look at how you've conducted this relationship, and how he's acted.
Every time you feel there is a problem, you suggest a break. That's n... (read in full...)
I'm 24, she's 16. Is it okay to have sex with her?
Q. I'm in a quandary, I have met a girl via the internet, to have a sexual relationship with her. Originally she said she was 18, it turns out she is only 16, she had sex with an older guy ( i'm 25) and older female. I have never had sex. She wants sex ...
A. 20 September 2010: Whilst 16 is the legal age of consent in the UK, you need to be asking yourself if she's younger than that. She lied once, and will do so again. She sounds far too immature to be able to handle something like this. Remember, you don't want your name ... (read in full...)
Whats does this guy mean, what sort of fun?
Q. A guy i know, who has a gf i might add, text me and my friend the same night, something like "we should meet up soon ;)" my friend called me the next morning and told me he'd text her and i told her he'd text me too. I never replied but she did she ...
A. 20 September 2010: He's after sex. And since he has a girlfriend already, you now know he's a guy you probably shouldn't be near. ... (read in full...)
How can I choose?
Q. When two boys wish for you to be their girlfriend how does one choose?...
A. 20 September 2010: Neither. If you can't choose, neither guy is right for you. ... (read in full...)
Holiday romance
Q. I met a guy on holiday and we had a holiday romance. We kept in touch for a couple of months. I wasn't naive, and I knew that barmen like him chase lots of girls, and I was just another on his list. I liked him a lot, but I didn't expect him to ke...
A. 19 September 2010: Sorry to break your heart even more, but you were just another customer in his life. I'm sure he's played a lot of girls like you before, and he will play a lot more after as well. Please don't sit there taking it personally. I think you were ... (read in full...)
I want to allow my boyfriend a three way but want to hear feedback on how it will affect the relationship
Q. Sex with my boyfriend has been lackluster. I love him deeply and would never cheat or leave him. I think he feels the same way about me but the sex is not the reason we are together. We both agree that our bond is deeper. The reason I'm writing is ...
A. 19 September 2010: Not a good plan. At all. You've only been together 7 months, and to expect sex to be so incredible without totally understanding each other's needs is premature. Take your time since you have it. One time with another girl might be enough for him to ... (read in full...)
Why is this guy not texting me back?
Q. I met a fab guy while on Spring Break with friends. The guy and his friends were cool, not sleazy and wanted to do daytime stuff with us like lunch, coffee etc. In fact my friend is dating his friend and its going really well. It really felt like...
A. 19 September 2010: I'll go one step further than the post below and say not to bother now. I know when I'm interested in a woman, I'll make an effort. And nearly all men are the same. We actually do make an effort. This guy doesn't seem to be making an effort at all ... (read in full...)
Is he in love with me?
Q. Ok I need help!!!! I have been in a relationship with someone I thought I could spend the rest of my life with, however I dont beleive he is interested in me anymore:( Over the last 2 years it is very rarely that we are intimate. I understa...
A. 19 September 2010: I doubt you'll find it's you at all. Check out Erectile Dysfunction. Your boyfriend may just be low on libido, tired, stressed, worried about something, or just not that into sex anyway. But it's not you. I'd suggest talking to him again, and ... (read in full...)
Was I a bitch to abandon him or was I right to end the friendship?
Q. I was with my ex for 2 years and when we broke up we agreed to remain friends. I went back to school and while I was in school we kept in touch by phone or through MSN. He drove me crazy.....he made a fake account on a dating site i was on to check ...
A. 19 September 2010: I'd suggest that you do move on fro this guy. You've wasted a lot of time being his safety net, while he's been having his fun and stringing you along. I mean, he was effectively stalking you to keep an eye on you, and hasn't really treated you or ... (read in full...)
Pictures found in her computer tell a different story than her story!
Q. I have been with my Girlfriend Nancy for over a year.She wanted a deep relationship and pure love. Things were going fine, with no problems. I have asked her to go out for a trip outside of hometown and that I will pay for all the expenses...
A. 19 September 2010: Whilst I don't always agree with snooping, it sadly sometimes gets results. And the truth is, she's been at it with her ex and lied to you all the way through.
I wouldn't even consider giving her a second chance. At all. The fact is that she lied... (read in full...)
I've never had sex with anyone but my ex
Q. I'm a little embarrased by this but I don't know if I should be. Let's start off like this: I am a 25 year old, single mother of two beautiful kids. I was married for 6 years to my kids' dad. I have been single for almost two whole years and have ...
A. 19 September 2010: A decent guy won't care in the slightest about experience and how many guys you've been with. Actually, you sleeping with one guy may make it all a bit easier for you (some guys still find it hard to deal with the idea of a woman having a lot of ... (read in full...)
I've fallen in love with my brother's wife
Q. I am totally confused right now. My brother and I have always been great friends, but I seem to have fallen in love with his wife. All three of us have been good friends for more than 7 years now and I have always liked her a lot, both as a friend ...
A. 19 September 2010: Is she one of those 1 in a million girls?
I don't think she is if she's interested in cheating her her husband with his brother. In fact, if that is so, I'd say she's not all that great. And since you're considering it, you need to ask your... (read in full...)
Do I just give up on him?
Q. Was in and out a 5 year relationship. It ended 6 months ago, been trying to make contact, he starts to talk to me then stops. I try calling, but he will not answer. What should I do?...
A. 19 September 2010: Time to move on. He's made it clear that he's not interested. Sorry. Don't sit there calling this guy. Find a new, better one.... (read in full...)
My ex wants us to be friends yet barely talks to me!
Q. My ex girlfriend and I broke up about a week ago and wants to be good friends even after our breakup. Yet she rarely talks to me anymore. It was a long distance relationship that put a huge strain on our relationship. Do I need to give her some ...
A. 19 September 2010: This is probably a sign that it's too soon, and you shouldn't stay in contact anyway.... (read in full...)
What is this man's intentions toward me?
Q. What does he want with me? Here is the situation. I have been married to my high school sweetheart for 15 years and have three beautiful children. I have little experience with other men because of my long term relationship so I am having problems ...
A. 19 September 2010: There are two things here that you need to take notice of.
1 - Your interest in this man is growing, which means you need to get to work on your marriage a bit. You say you'd never leave your marriage or kids, but you wanting to know how this guy ... (read in full...)
What to do for the best... Should I try to get my ex back?
Q. My girlfriend of three and a half years and I broke up recently because our relationship had been going south for awhile (mostly because of my actions). She told me she wanted a break, lied to me for a week, then revealed that she was in fact ...
A. 18 September 2010: 1 - No. You're in danger of being the safety net if things with this other guy fail. Don't sit there being a safety net. The truth is, she doesn't' love either of you and is playing games with you both. She will be the one to lose out in the end, ... (read in full...)
What do I do about his threatening remarks if I were to leave him?
Q. Hi, ive been with my boyfiend now for ten months. I started seeing him two weeks after a relationship break up of 5 and a half years. Everything was great for two months, now its on and off, i dont know what to do. Hes really insecure and suffers ...
A. 18 September 2010: He's right about one thing. He doesn't deserve you at all. Walk away from him. Now. If he has family that care, tell them. Alternatively, call the Samaritans.
http://www.samaritans.org/
tell them the story, ask what to do. But don't stay with ... (read in full...)
Why would an ex text after 2 months of no contact?
Q. My ex of 6 months broke up with me almost half a year ago over one argument and many accusations that he had against me and then said that he had lost some interest and needed some space. He once said that I was the most well composed girl he ever ...
A. 18 September 2010: Maybe he failed with the other girl and wanted to come back to you until he found someone else. My ex texted me after 3 months. She'd cheated, hurt me etc. I didn't respond. Best thing I ever did. Don't sit there mulling this over in your head. You ... (read in full...)
I don't like being a mum... I want all my freedom back!!!
Q. Hey guys. Thanks for looking at my dilemma! And I will keep it short.,.. Basically, I'm 27 years old, single mum to a beautiful 5 month old boy. The father is my ex, we broke up when I was pregnant, he is still around for our son and is a great d...
A. 18 September 2010: I actually think you'll find there are millions of other women who have felt this way at some point, but haven't necessarily said it because they are scared of being judged. Several woman I know have all said that while they love their children, ... (read in full...)
Is he getting sick of me?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been dating almost 6 months and we always have our downfalls, usually me being paranoid that he longer loves me because he doesn't reply back to my texts. But in the end everything's okay, until the next encounter. We're ...
A. 18 September 2010: You need to be dealing with your own trust issues and paranoia here. I don't think he's sick of you, but I you seem so on edge that he's starting to feel suffocated, hence why he went to the fair and didn't tell you. You say he's gone too far, that ... (read in full...)
My ex and I are cheating and he has a girlfriend with 3 kids!
Q. Dear Cupid, My ex boyfriend and I have been apart for 9 years now. We have a 9 year old son together. My ex has been with his girlfriend for 9 years and they have 3 children together. In September of 2009 my ex and I started talking again ab...
A. 18 September 2010: Tragic. At first you did the right thing and didn't sleep with him. Then you did, and now he's having a great old time using you. He wants to take pictures of you that he will no doubt show to all his friends for a good laugh, he won't stop it until ... (read in full...)
Was I used for money?
Q. I met a guy 12 mths ago on an internet site, we got really friendly and ended up meeting up for a chat. He told me he was in a long term relationship but said he only stayed there as he was going to leave before and it devasted his children. One ...
A. 18 September 2010: You have your answers. He used you. Don't search for anymore answers, because you'll just get hurt. And don't tell his wife either, because she'll blame you.
As hard as it is, you need to let this guy go. You have paid a big price for messing with... (read in full...)
Wife cheating on me and planning on leaving me. How do I get over this?
Q. Recently I found out that my wife is cheating on me with some other guy. Though, I think they have not slept yet but she is madly in love with him. We have been married for almost 15 yrs now and have kids. Our marriage has not been the best in ...
A. 18 September 2010: Buddy, you need to pull the rug from under this today. She's taking you for a ride!
1) Stop paying the fees IMMEDIATELY!
2) Don't prepare. Do. Get her out the house.
If you don't do this, she'll divorce you, take you to the cleaners and get happ... (read in full...)
My best friend chose his girlfriend over me
Q. I'm in love with my bestfriend and he told me he likes me back. But he has a girlfriend whom coincidentally hates me because she knows i like him and she thinks i am a slut :/ One day he told me he loves me then the next day it is like nothing ...
A. 18 September 2010: I'm afraid you have to back away and let him be. He made his choice, and he chose her over you. Don't bother with someone who is already taken. Because if there willing to hurt one person, they'll hurt another. You need to be moving on from him, ... (read in full...)
My friend is seeing a married man and I don't see things working out, how do I tell her and make her see things?
Q. I have a friend who is seeing a married man, they had a brief fling when his wife was pregnant with their 3rd child. Since then it has transpired to something more serious and they have now been continuing a LDR meeting every couple of months or so ...
A. 18 September 2010: There is no chance. I don't know whether I'd want to be friends with a person like this, but if you can stomach the fact that this will gone wrong one way or another, just be there with the tissues and get ready for her to have wasted her life. But, ... (read in full...)
Husband stole over a grand from my bank account
Q. I've been married for 3 years now, and have a 3 year old child. My husband has had problems with drinking and gambling and was out of work for 2 years. He recently started working again, I had to give up working due to being seriously ill. The ...
A. 18 September 2010: Either he gets help, or you leave. That's the way this has to be played now. you've got to get tough, before you find your house taken away and you and your child are left homeless. My Grandfather was an alcoholic, and because of that my mother has ... (read in full...)
Why can't he just talk to me rather than going off by himself?
Q. I need help. So this is how it all started....I was talking to my boyfriend earlier, and at the very beginning of our conversation I got aggravated at him for something really little. Inevitably, my little aggravation slowly became bigger and ...
A. 18 September 2010: This is surely one of the most common questions women ask on this site.
"How do I get him to talk"!/"Why won't he just talk!"???
Sadly, there is no answer other than give it time.
Women thrive on being able to talk through problems immediately.... (read in full...)
Wife gone into hiding. Need to obtain divorce.
Q. Hi My wife and i've been separated for almost 18 months. We have not seen each other since the separation. I've filed for a divorce. Ever since the initial divorce petition was posted to her, she has stopped accepting any recorded/registe...
A. 18 September 2010: You can't do a thing in terms of lying, because you need her signature, and I'm pretty sure you need her to be present at certain hearings. For whatever reason, your wife has decided to disappear (she probably doesn't want the divorce). Your only ... (read in full...)
Best friend and I are both gunning for the same guy!
Q. a few days ago i was at the park with my best friend, and a guy from her old school was there too. she stopped him, and the three of us went to her house. we were talking, hes funny and really sweet, and me and him really hit it off. i like him a ...
A. 18 September 2010: The biggest joke here is that he's not interested in either of you since he already has a girlfriend. I'd leave him alone, since he has a girlfriend, and I'd let your friend go after him. At this rate, both you girls will look like fools, and you'll ... (read in full...)
Proper to ask if ex-gf is seeing someone??
Q. My ex girlfriend and I have broken up recently and have given each other some space to just let things settle for a little bit. We decided that we would remain very good friends and would try and talk to each other. However, I was wondering can I ...
A. 18 September 2010: You broke up. That's as far as it goes. Don't ask.... (read in full...)
Proper to ask if ex-gf is seeing someone??
Q. My ex girlfriend and I have broken up recently and have given each other some space to just let things settle for a little bit. We decided that we would remain very good friends and would try and talk to each other. However, I was wondering can I ...
A. 18 September 2010: You broke up. That's as far as it goes. Don't ask.... (read in full...)
Why does he think I'm delusional and crazy?
Q. Me and G, an ex friend, got into a big fight a month ago over him thinking it was okay to have sex with a girl since he thought it was an open kinda thing...we dated and yeah, it was closed. So I ignored hin until yesterday when A, my bf, told me ...
A. 18 September 2010: I personally would just ignore him. By responding in the way you did, he'll just be able to say 'told you so'. I suspect that he's a bit immature and doesn't really know how to understand women or communicate with them. So instead, he insults them. ... (read in full...)
My husband's sister may be abusing her kids -- and she's writing a book on parenting!
Q. I married my husband even though I don't approve of his family situation. The biggest problem I have is his sister and her family. She smoked pot and drank alcohol while she was pregnant with all three of her children. These kids are all under the ...
A. 18 September 2010: An anonymous call to CPS is a good start. There's clearly something wrong, and your husband is naturally going to stick up for her. ... (read in full...)
Seeing a married man ....
Q. I have been dating a married man for six months. At first, I didn't think that is was going to stick and I was just lonely and looking for friendship. He was very charming and over time I fell into his trap. I feel that I am doing the wrong thing ...
A. 18 September 2010: He's not planning to leave his wife. At all. He still goes home to her, and he still uses her just as much as he uses you. End it.... (read in full...)
Could he be cheating again?
Q. me and my bf have been together a year and a half. he cheated on me and i took him back bc he got a job to move out here for me. he worked monday threw thursday and today is friday adn he said his boss called him in. he said it was home comming and ...
A. 18 September 2010: Since he's cheated before, there is always going to be doubt in your mind about whether he's cheating again. But no one can tell you for sure, because there's just not enough proof. His excuses do sound somewhat suspicious (no one else would work?), ... (read in full...)
Could he be cheating again?
Q. me and my bf have been together a year and a half. he cheated on me and i took him back bc he got a job to move out here for me. he worked monday threw thursday and today is friday adn he said his boss called him in. he said it was home comming and ...
A. 18 September 2010: Since he's cheated before, there is always going to be doubt in your mind about whether he's cheating again. But no one can tell you for sure, because there's just not enough proof. His excuses do sound somewhat suspicious (no one else would work?), ... (read in full...)
How can I get my wife to dress sexy for Halloween?
Q. What is the best way to get my wife to wear a super sexy hallowen outfit? For the last few years, we have gone to the same adults-only Halloween party, made up of neighbors and friends. The "adults only" part is not as racy as it sounds. We all ...
A. 18 September 2010: I'd just tell her and see what she says. I don't think there's any other way around it. Just tell her you fancy her, think she has a great body and you'd like to see her in a racy Halloween outfit. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend always has an attitude and doesn't seem to care about us anymore
Q. Hey guys so I posted a question a while ago that my gf seems to not care about the relationship and treats me like crap. Well I ended up talking to her and telling her how I feel. For about four hours she changed after that conversation and ...
A. 18 September 2010: Bud, your just the next person in a long list of people that she has treated badly. How many other guys and girls has she treated like you with her spoilt brat attitude. You're not going to be the guy that got away to this girl. You'll be the guy ... (read in full...)
Impressing a guy over a casual drink?
Q. So what advice can anyone give to a girl going for a casual drink with a guy that she quite wants to impress? Would like to encourage him to like me. Any advice would be awesome :D thanks ...
A. 18 September 2010: 100%, be yourself. Laugh at his jokes. Smile, give him eye contact, make sure your body faces him and you're close to him (not too close), ask questions, answer questions etc. Find out what you have in common. Most of all, be confident. That might ... (read in full...)
Why do I feel like "leave me alone" when I get attention?
Q. This is my situation. Like every girl i like getting attention from the guys, but when guys actually start talking to me or generally just show interest I think, "leave me alone." Im flattered with the attention, but then i feel like they should go ...
A. 18 September 2010: Perhaps when you fancy one of the guys who talks to you, you'll feel differently. I'm sure there are hundreds of women who get chatted up who just want the men to go away. You won't be the only one. You'll probably find that either you're not ready ... (read in full...)
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