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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I met the love of my life when i was 15, and we got married as soon as i turned 18. We had separated because he had cheated on me. Soon after we got back together, our marriage became abusive, everything between name calling to every-other-day full on fist fights(never around my son). We came to absolutely hate eachother.. sometimes, we'd love and respect and trust eachother better than any couple in the world.. but some other times, I couldnt help but feel disgust when i looked at him.. "he's so.. gross" "he doesnt do anything, how lazy" "hes not trustworthy" "hes not a good father, hes not a good husband".. etc. Then, without knowingly doing it, I gave false hope to another man. I had no thoughts of leaving my husband, as i do still love him. But that man misenterpreted my friendship (i never kissed him, held his hand or had sex with him) and he emailed my husband to leave me alone and that we were together. I explained it all to my husband, but he did not believe me. He called me a cheater so i naturally got mad because.. well.. he cheated on me. I told him that I had every right to cheat on him if i wanted because he cheated on me. Needless to say we had a fight and he moved back to his parents house and left me and our son again and told his whole family. 4 years of being together, legal problems, 3 separations and a child later, I still love him.. and I know he loves me too.. my question is.. Should I fight for an abusive relationship with the man i love, or should i move on? and if i should move on.. How?!
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cheated on me, got back together, move on Reply to this Question
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male
reader, TimmD  +, writes (16 September 2010):
 Your relationship will never change. There is no "fighting" for your relationship because you've never really had a good relationship. End it and move on before, like CaringGuy said, he kills you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2010): One question, is your love for him worth more than your love for your child?
Do you want your child to grow up seeing this abuse, knowing only misery because you "love" this guy?
Do you really want your child to learn the lesson that it's okay to keep being abused, being miserable and abused all in the name of "love"?
Now you're son is already seeing that his mother accepts being treated like a piece of crap and believe it or not he'll start treating you like that too if you don't get rid of your husband. Can you imagine what that would be like? Your son is the only person in your life that you can never and would never want to get rid of, can you imagine if he started acting like his father? The pain and suffering he'd have to endure seeing all this taken out on you, or the way he himself will learn to treat others.
Screw love, it's worth nothing compared to giving your son the best, most loving life you can and you're not going to be able to do that while you keep flogging this dead horse of relationship.
It was over a long time ago but you just can't accept that, if you can't find the strength to leave him then use your son as motivation. You would fight to the death to protect him wouldn't you? The protect him from this.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (16 September 2010):
 Really do you even have to ask that question? If he loved you he wouldn't hit you..bottom line. Let me point out 2 wrongs don't make a right, and when he cheated on you that doesn't give you a free pass to cheat as well. What have you gained from this marriage besides a black eye and a child whom is exposed to this behavior? Daddy in and out of his life isn't healthy. Daddy hits mommy then Daddy has to go away. Put you and your child's safety first, he doesn't deserve to have an abusive father around. Move on, there's no loving marriage/relationship here just an abusive one.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (16 September 2010):
Move on before he kills you and leaves your child motherless.
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