A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Before I married my amazing husband of 4 years I ran into my ex. All of the chemistry and passion that we had so long ago was still there. Needless to say it through me for a loop when all of these feelings came up and I was about to get married. After debating weither or not I should get married I decided I should. My marriage has been nothing but wonderful. We have an amazing child and my husband shows me daily how much he loves me. Then recently I came into contact with my ex again. He has brought back all of the old feelings I had and I am having the hardest time breaking it off. He says that he knows that we are meant to be together. We haven't seen each other but he wants to meet up and I can't help feeling like I want to see him. I know it would just turn into more heartache than good, but how do I stop having such strong feelings for him? How do I let him go when I still want him in my life? Did I make the wrong mistake by getting married when I still had love for another? Is it even plausible to think of leaving a man I love with our child for another old love that I have intense feelings for?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2010): We broke up because we were young and foolish. I moved across country and went back to were I use to live just before I was going to get married. A, to see friends and I think subconciously to say my final good bye to him. Didn't turn out as harmless as I thought. You live and u learn. I made the choice and I choose my husband. Now I have to stand up for what I believe in and say good bye to any doubts
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2010): Hi,
I am gonna disagree with the others on here.
I think that you should meet him..in a public place. At the moment, you are basing yr feelings on nostalgia. After you meet him, you should be in a better position to make a clear desicion.
BTW why did you and yr ex split up in the 1st place?
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (16 September 2010):
 YOU are the one in control of YOUR life. You made the decision to speak to him, now it's time to cut him off and never look back. Even if you don't meet with your ex, continuing to speak to him will jeopardize your marriage with unnecessary complications, which wouldn't be present if said ex wasn't present in your life.
You're not losing anything by not speaking to him, he's an ex for a reason. Keep it that way.
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A
female
reader, OhGetReal +, writes (16 September 2010):
 Love is not a feeling, love is a conscious decision to BE A PERSON WORTHY OF LOVE, it is commitment to another to put them ahead of your own wants and needs. Love is action in the loving deeds, words and actions that we live every day.
To stand up before God and everyone and promise to love honor and cherish is grown up love.
You can choose to break your vows and be a person whose commitment to another changes based on your feelings, which by the way are not facts, but your projections, your filter on what is in front of you may not be what it seems, after all there has been nothing between the two of you except words....talk is cheap, actions tell all.
Like someone said your husband stood up and made his choice to be a person worthy of love by marrying you and having a child with you. What pray, has this scumbag ex done for you except get your lust going?
Oh, Please Get REal
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2010): WOW... I really needed that. I was in this state of emotional "nostalgia" that was making me dilusional of reality and the amazing life I have. I was so confused how a single person can have such an impact on me. I knew I would never leave my husband and I was so desperate to "talk" to someone I had to resort as an anonymous on this website. It took three strangers to look at my scenerio and set me straight. Now for the "break up" for lack of better words. I'll let you know how it goes. Wow, emotions can really take a toll on someone. And you are right my husband does not deserve a wife that is emotionally cheating. I'm ashamed of myself and glad I caught it before it got ugly.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2010): You're mistaking your feelings for nostalgia.
Your ex isn't the guy you love anymore, he just symbolizes that guy from all those years ago. What you're feeling is emotional memories nothing more.
Now let me get to nitty gritty, what the hell do you think you are doing?!?!?!?!?!?!?
A. He's your ex, there's a reason you broke up and that reason is still valid.
B. He's encouraging you and actively engaging in trying to break up your marriage, a marriage to a good man, a happy loving marriage with a kid involved. Is that really the kind of man you ever consider leaving your husband for? Really, ignore your emotions for a minute and think, is that really the kind of man your child would you forgive you for breaking up your family for? Because you have some lingering feelings for a relationship you know could never work.
C. Your husband deserves better than a wife that is currently sneaking behind his back reigniting old feelings with her ex and jeopardizing his family for a menial crush with a scumbag who tries to talk about destiny to get you in the sack, don't you think?
End this now with your ex now, cut off all contact and tell him you never want to speak to him again, and you can salvage some pride and dignity. You don't stop your feelings for him, you know they only come back when you see or talk to him, so cut him off completely. Have nothing more to do with him and do it soon. You are emotionally cheating on your husband right now by even considering this.
You continue this way and your child loses a family.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (15 September 2010):
You've got to cut contact with him. It won't work out into a fairytale ending. You don't even really love him. You're in love with the past. This guy is an ex for a reason. That reason is that it didn't work out before. So why throw away this fabulous marriage, and why hurt your child for this man who let you go and is prepared to happily destroy your marriage for his own reasons. I think you getting married when you loved another was a mistake. But for God's sake don't blow your wonderful marriage and family away for the sake of some guy who's an ex and offers you nothing but pain. You'll just wind up with a angry ex and angry child, before winding up with a man you don't really love. Cut him out of your life.
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