| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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He beat me, should I stay with him?
Q. im 14 and me and my bf have been dating for about 4 weeks now and i have a problem write ino im young but me and my bf have sex quite alot (this will make sense later) but he asked me if i wanted to come round after school on our last day but i ...
A. 27 December 2010: If he broke your wrist, report him to the police and have him prosecuted. Don't be afraid of him. ... (read in full...)
Does the constant calling and texting after breaking up mean she still loves me?
Q. hi recently me and my gf broke up i still love her very much but she doesn't plan on getting back. now even though it was a horrible break up we are still very good friends but what i don't get is she wants to text and call how we used to. we even ...
A. 24 December 2010: No, sadly. It means she has you wrapped around her finger and loves the attention. I'm afraid there are people in life who essentially collect ex's and use them to their advantage. My first girlfriend attempted to do this with me a few years ago ... (read in full...)
I don't love him, but should I stay with him because he is safe?
Q. im 22 i have a 2 year old with a man i dont love, we were together a year when i fell pregnant, I was stupid 19 year old thinkin "it wont happen to me" although i cant say i regret it as i love her so much! But about a month after havin my daughter ...
A. 24 December 2010: Except there's a problem - one day you will meet a man you really will love. And what will happen then? You'll wind up either cheating or leaving anyway. And don't say it won't happen, because it will. It happens all the time.
There is no way that... (read in full...)
Could I have an STI?
Q. Well, i've recently had unprotected sex and my penis has been really itchy, at the tip of it, and there has been a yellow colored discharge coming out, not much but just a little bit, would this be an STI? if it is what can i do, i dont want my ...
A. 23 December 2010: You need to get to the doctor. Something it wrong, and if it's serious it could cause you to fall seriously ill. Get checked now. ... (read in full...)
Did I cross the line by posing as someone else and chatting to him online to trap him?
Q. Hi, Am I in the wrong? and did I ask too much from him? Right Id had been dating this guy for a couple of months and thought it wasn't working out (We had meet on match.com) We would go to his and watch the football or racing and stu...
A. 23 December 2010: I think you did go too far. You need to seriously question yourself if you were so insecure that you needed to set up a whole new profile and try to trap him. You can see where this behaviour leads. Now you'd found that he's a nutcase and will try ... (read in full...)
Cooking for his fussy children?
Q. I am late 40's, no kids and never married. Got a great man who is early 50's with adult daughters and teenage grandkids. Problem is holiday meals. I am a terrific cook of any style food. Trouble is, kids and grandkids are oddly picky eaters. They do ...
A. 23 December 2010: Good for you. You've been very patient, and you've tried hard. It's their problem they don't like your food. I think whatever you cook they'll just moan. Cook what you want, and have a good Christmas. ... (read in full...)
He beat me, should I stay with him?
Q. im 14 and me and my bf have been dating for about 4 weeks now and i have a problem write ino im young but me and my bf have sex quite alot (this will make sense later) but he asked me if i wanted to come round after school on our last day but i ...
A. 23 December 2010: Dump him. He's a total nut case. Never EVER let someone treat you this way. ... (read in full...)
After being hurt I have given up on love, but I want to start all over again. Where do I begin?
Q. Due to recent events in my love life I've been hurt an have given up on women. I need some advice on how to start back. Where can I begin?...
A. 23 December 2010: The first thing you got to realize is that one woman hurting you doesn't mean that the other 3 billion women will. A lot of people get hurt a few times by a few people, and then decide this means that the whole population is against them. Not so. ... (read in full...)
Cooking for his fussy children?
Q. I am late 40's, no kids and never married. Got a great man who is early 50's with adult daughters and teenage grandkids. Problem is holiday meals. I am a terrific cook of any style food. Trouble is, kids and grandkids are oddly picky eaters. They do ...
A. 23 December 2010: Wow! You're a really great woman for putting up with that. I admire you for it, because most step mothers wouldn't care.
That said, perhaps instead of cooking what they want, you should just cook what you want and enjoy it for yourself. You coul... (read in full...)
Why did my ex treat me like garbage? How can I forget about him?
Q. I was in love with my ex and would've done anything for him. But all he did was treat me like dirt. He'd insult me in front of friends, ignored me at parties, flirt with other women in front of me, always put me last, and was never once romantic ...
A. 23 December 2010: I agree with the post below. You're asking the wrong question here. He treated you that way, because he could and you allowed it. That's what people like him do. They seen an opportunity to use and abuse someone, so they do it.
But the real ques... (read in full...)
How can I make it in life?
Q. i have lost all hope, joy , happiness...what can i do? i have failed to get a job, or get into another relationship..more so i have no one i can tell about my challenges...so am all alone, scared..infact terrified...so what can a simple gal like...
A. 21 December 2010: I know what you mean. 2 years ago I lost my job, was unemployed. Then I set up my own company. It lasted a year, but I just couldn't get the work and had to close it. Now I've been unemployed for another 4 months an it's driving me slowly mad.
S... (read in full...)
Why does my ex want to be my friend after what he did to me?
Q. Why is my ex hellbent on being my friend when he put me through the ringer? I hate his guts and he's dead to me! ...
A. 21 December 2010: Maybe he wants control over you or something. Just tell him you want nothing more to do with him and cut contact. ... (read in full...)
Should I fight for what we have or leave him alone? It is hard to let go after 5 years....
Q. I have been with my partner for 5years and recently he says that the relationship we have together is making him depressed as we are not right for each other. The thing is he breaks up with me every other month and i dont know whether this is 1 of ...
A. 21 December 2010: He's been wasting your time for so long that you cant't actually see it anymore. No relationship can be successful if you are constantly breaking up with each other. If he's treating you this way now, imagine what he'll be like in the future if you ... (read in full...)
She's in a relationship but I told her how I feel, and now she has cut me out of her life! Why would she do this?
Q. hi ive been really good friends with a women who is in a relationship already, we got along so well its unreal, she shows all the signs she likes me and my feelings for her have grown for her so i told her how i feel open up to her and said i d...
A. 21 December 2010: You read the situation badly, and crossed a line you should never have even thought about.
She clearly is well into her relationship, and you were clearly a friend and nothing more. This is why you should never go near someone who is already take... (read in full...)
Why does he hate me when I stay, and hate me when I go? I cant win either way!
Q. Hey I hope you guys can help me. Ok so here it goes- I was head over heals maniac in love with this guy that I'll call Brian. Well I slaved myself to him around the clock so he always knew he was man's gift to life 24-7. Thing is he never said or ...
A. 21 December 2010: This is classic abusive behaviour from a control freak. The aim is to take the little confidence you have, build up up the break you so you're more dependent and he can have more control.
The only way to get rid of this problem is to finally dump... (read in full...)
Can you ever be friends with a member of the opposite sex?
Q. Hey, this isn't really a problem I was just wondering what everyone thinks on whether guys and girls can ever just be friends? My friends think one will always find the other sexually attractive but is this true? I've had lots of guy friends for ...
A. 21 December 2010: I don't believe this sentiment. I have had a lot of female friends, and I haven't fancied any of them. So unless they all fancied me and I'm the world's greatest sex machine (which I very much doubt sadly), I think that you can have friends of the ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for men to use prostitutes?
Q. Is it normal for men to use prostitutes? Does paying for it make it any different? Basically i found out my bf had slept with a couple of prostitutes in the past before i met him. He says there is nothing wrong with it nd its just like meetin...
A. 21 December 2010: You picked one here, I'm sad to say. Do you have cause for concern? Plenty.
He's used prostitutes. This, to an extent, I can forgive. But I can't forgive the way he talked about them just being a one night stand. Paying for sex is pretty low, but ... (read in full...)
In love with a married man, how do I say 'no' when my heart says yes?
Q. Okay, here is the deal. I am in college, but right now I am on winter break. My sister, still in high school, and I went to go watch her boyfriend in a school performance. The teacher I used to have a crush on was there. I gave up on anything ...
A. 21 December 2010: Because by saying yes, he could wind up fired and you will be made a homewrecker and laughing stock. As the others have said, there are lines you can't cross. A girl I knew crossed this line, and it pretty much ruined her life.
Your heart migh... (read in full...)
Can a man overlook he's ladies past and just want to love and protect her?
Q. Hi, guy's, i have a concern that I'm scared about and would really appreciate your feedback and words of wisdom. I'm a wonderful loving lady, but my past has been a nightmare. Recently I've met a beautiful man who I'm scared to love. He thinks I'm ...
A. 21 December 2010: The right man will look past just about anything. You should never need to lie, and he will never use it against you.
The problem I think you've had is the same as many others have had in your situation. You were abused by your father, and wher... (read in full...)
What is the mindset of a man who makes obscene phone calls to women?
Q. I logged on to one of the secret confessions websites and I read the confession of a guy who, years ago made obscene phone calls to women and teenage girls. Even though he didn't give out his name or hometown, I think I know who he is and that I was ...
A. 21 December 2010: Someone who needs professional help.... (read in full...)
I asked my husband to leave, he left without putting up a fight. why?
Q. i have been married for 7 years and known my husband since i was 15 years old. i am 31 years old now. we had a lot of trust issues before we got married. we went through marriage counseling before we married. we had a beautiful wedding. i knew when ...
A. 21 December 2010: To be honest, I'm glad he did leave. I think you'd suffered enough at the hands of this guy.
I suspect that there's yet another woman somewhere that he may have gone to. No man who truly loves his wife would leave without at least putting some sort... (read in full...)
Do men like lingerie or women naked?
Q. So I got some realllly cute Lingerie at Victoria Secret to wear for my boyfriend the other day and I guess the thought never ran through my head but do guy's really enjoy lingerie or are most men just all for the full blown nakedness?...
A. 21 December 2010: Bring on the lingerie! Men love it! It makes the inevitable naked part even better. ... (read in full...)
She wants things her way regardless of how I feel
Q. I have been dating a older women for almost one year, we started as a simple fling which turned into something serious. We both know were not getting to a serious level in terms of a relationship, eventhou i would like to and i have told her that ...
A. 21 December 2010: Well, credit to this woman for being so secure she won't change at all. I myself am dating an older woman, and I know that they do act differently on a whole new level.
Thing is, you know that ultimately this won't go where you want it to, and you ... (read in full...)
Swollen penis... how can I stop this happening?
Q. Hey guys, I'm a 16 year old boy and I'm having a hard time masturbating. It never used to be like this. But the thing is, after I climax my penis gets really swollen and it'll go back to normal the next day. That's one of the reasons why I don't ...
A. 20 December 2010: You need to see a doctor. Only a doctor would be able to help you with something like this.... (read in full...)
I pretty much ruined his relationship!
Q. Okay first of all I don't want anyone judging or making rude comments on here. I just need some serious advice. Okay. So last night me and my friends got really drunk at this party. My ex was there.. Well.. I don't even know if I should call him an ...
A. 20 December 2010: 1 - No he doesn't still love you. At all. He just had a great time kissing you and that was it. If he loved you, he'd have dumped her and come to you. He didn't. I'm afraid that you were used, and you kind of allowed that.
2 - He is to blame as m... (read in full...)
My summer catch wants to go back to his ex!
Q. I met this guy this summer and from the very beginning I just had the feeling of that piece that was always missing there. I went to college and we were great and just one day he broke up with me saying it was the distance, but after awhile he then ...
A. 20 December 2010: I'm afraid you need to move on. He was a summer fling, and even you admitted there was something missing. The most damning thing is that we went back to his ex. I'm afraid you can't fight with that. You'll always be second to his ex.
Spend time... (read in full...)
I am in good shape,but can't get her attention, what can I do?
Q. Why can't I get this girl to like me uber been trying for ages I have a six pack...
A. 20 December 2010: Women want more than a six pack my friend! They want a mature, kind, decent and trustworthy man. So quit worrying about how you look, and worry about how you act. And also talk to the girl and get to know her as well.... (read in full...)
Upset he hadn't got me anything for Christmas.
Q. A week away from Xmas and my partner tells me yesterday he's not got me anything; doesn't know what to get me and has had other things on his mind! Hints for a particular ($10.00) DVD I've been chasing and found have obviously gone unheard... (All ...
A. 20 December 2010: Let me put it to you this way. I'm currently unemployed, and have been for nearly 4 months now. I'm basically living on the savings I have which were made when I worked. Yet I managed to get my girlfriend a present. It isn't hugely expensive. It was ... (read in full...)
Family expcting too much? Free babysitting vs. New city!
Q. Hi ya’ll, so here’s the question. It’s my first winter in my new city and I’ve worked long and hard to get here. I’m not making much money yet and it’s a struggle sometimes but I have a plan and I have a job and that’s saying more than a lot of ...
A. 20 December 2010: I think your father understands entirely, which is a good thing. But your mother is acting like some drama queen. She has no right to staring moaning at you because you're not visiting for 'long enough'. You're visiting, and you're doing the best ... (read in full...)
She becomes defensive when I talk to her
Q. i meet this girl a year ago anyway we now live together i pay all the bills and take care of her and her 2 kids she says she loves but do,s not sleep with me and always wants money and leaves me for awhile comes back and hides in the bathroom and ...
A. 20 December 2010: My friend, you have become an ATM card to this woman. Move on now. ... (read in full...)
I love my boyfriend but kissed another guy...what do I do now?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half now. However recently I have been having feelings for another guy. I kissed him and find myself thinking about him, but I love my boyfriend. What do I do?...
A. 20 December 2010: I personally think that this is a sign for you to move on. True love is when temptation is there but you don't act on it, because you love and respect your partner enough not to do it. And you gave into the temptation. Maybe you do love your ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend compliments in public and it embarrasses me!
Q. I have this girlfriend, "Dana" (I keep the names of the people in my questions fake, but consistent). We're realy happy. One problem. She's always making comments about my "nice butt" and "cut arms" and it embarrasses me. I'm not shy, but I a...
A. 20 December 2010: You can't get her to stop! She's a happy, loved up girl. And a happy, loved up girl will want to show her boyfriend off. That's what she's doing. There's no real harm in it, and she certainly doesn't mean any harm.
As for coping, I think this is s... (read in full...)
Is he just a good guy, or the right guy?
Q. I have recently split up with a long term boyfriend because he was so occupied with the future that he wasn't there for me in the present. He is a good guy, but I don't know if he's the one. Now I am starting to date another man who is currently...
A. 20 December 2010: I'm staring to see a woman who's not spending enough time on herself. You were going out with one guy who wasn't what you were looking for and you've moved on to another guy who now isn't what you're looking for.
The first guy is now an ex, and ... (read in full...)
Are there clues to find guys who prefer small boobs?
Q. How can I find guys who prefer small boobs over big boobs? I have small boobs, and I'm tired of always finding guys who prefer and like big boobs better, but who "don't mind" small ones. Yeah, I know I'm insecure, but I can't help it, and I always ...
A. 20 December 2010: Funnily enough, the clue is when he doesn't really talk about boobs. You're almost looking for the guy that doesn't say "I like big boobs, but don't mind small ones". It's the guys that go on about boobs that are the ones who actually care. ... (read in full...)
I was sick and having hallucinations! Is this normal?
Q. I got sick the other day and began having these sick hallucinations. They were awesome, lol, but I was a little afraid my mind had been pushed to its limit like that by a simple cold (severe though it was). Is this normal? Has it happened to anyon...
A. 20 December 2010: Yes, get a check up with the doctor. Hallucinations are not a good thing, even if you think they're awesome. ... (read in full...)
Should I trust her? Says she she loves me, but dates another.
Q. My ex gf say said she loved, then a guy walks up on us, and turns out she was on a date with that guy that night? we hung out almost every day for a week, then we talk, but don't do see each other, then the next night shes on a date with a guy, ...
A. 20 December 2010: I think that's one of the worst things I've heard. She says she loves you, then moments later another guys turns up and she's actually dating him, and worse even dates the guy the next night!
You can't trust her at all. I think this girl is play... (read in full...)
He's married, but I want him back. What should I do?
Q. i had been in affair with married man for 7 months. i knew having sex with married man is no good. but he was a good looking 47 years man and he has a nice body. first, he drove me home after work and he was saying he had cheated his wife befo...
A. 20 December 2010: What a charming, wonderful man he is.
Wait, not he's not. He's CRAP!
I wish I could personally jump out of this screen and shake you until you saw him for what he is. I can't believe for a second that you want this man back. Let's look at the long... (read in full...)
Shouldn't sex last??
Q. So me and this guy always have sex well kinda we did like 3 times and when we do it's only for like 30 or 40 min .. And idk if he cummed or not or if he had an orgasim or not .. But shouldn't sex last for like an hour or 2 ??? ...
A. 20 December 2010: I'm afraid you just kind of have to take his word for it. There's no real way to tell... (read in full...)
Your happiest marriage memory?
Q. Hey Cupiders. This isn't really a relationship quiestion as of such. It's just, i'm on this site regularly to help out with people problems, giving advice and such like. I was just wondering if there is anyone on here who is in a happy marriage o...
A. 19 December 2010: My girlfriend had a bad day earlier this year. I didn't know that. Unfortunately, at some point in the morning, I said the wrong thing and she had a huge go at me. For about half an hour, I had to sit there and listen to how I'd made her upset.
H... (read in full...)
Why does she reject me when her mind is clearly saying "yes"?
Q. theres this girl i love that i cant get out of my head. she says she just wants to be friends but her actions dont say so. on the bus to school she plays with my hair and flirts with me. thats not the only reason i love her. shes just so amasing her ...
A. 19 December 2010: Some people just love attention. She's one of them. You're there acting like a puppy around her, and she likes it. But you're not listening, and that's what you need to do. She is telling you that she doesn't want to go out with you.
She is play... (read in full...)
Don't all guys like anal?
Q. Don't all guys like anal? My boyfriend of 2 years begged me to try but now won't even come close to that region...i feel embarrassed cause i thought all guys liked anal. help? :( ...
A. 19 December 2010: A secret about men is that they often say things to sound bigger and bolder, when they in fact are quite scared.
I think your boyfriend did this. I think he fantasized about it, and I think he thought he wanted it. Then when you offered it, he got ... (read in full...)
Shouldn't sex last??
Q. So me and this guy always have sex well kinda we did like 3 times and when we do it's only for like 30 or 40 min .. And idk if he cummed or not or if he had an orgasim or not .. But shouldn't sex last for like an hour or 2 ??? ...
A. 19 December 2010: 30 OR 40 MINUTES!
You have a lot to learn about sex, I'll tell you that. I don't know where you got the figure of an hour or 2 from, but if sex is lasting that long, usually it means that the guy has problems, or that neither is turned on. Mayb... (read in full...)
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