A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating a older women for almost one year, we started as a simple fling which turned into something serious. We both know were not getting to a serious level in terms of a relationship, eventhou i would like to and i have told her that where she said its not going to work out. I like this girl in every aspect but we dont connect in bed. She says she never has to urge to have anything sexual or does not feel horny to do anything. we havent had sex yet and i feel like its killing me and stoping me from enjoying the regular things i like about it. Its as if its messing up everything else i like about her. I have talked to her about this and asked her what i can do or what we can do to change this and it doesnt seem like she wants to change the way she acts. I almost feel like she just wants things her way regardless of anything. I would really like to enjoy what we have just in every aspect of life.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2010): So, why cant companionship and sex be together? This might sound selfish, but i do really like her and everything about her and wouldnt mind a future with her. I told her this and she doesnt think the same way and for her to think of us being in a relationship would mean that she would get married to me when i just want to be in a relationship to see if there is a future and she says we have no future. She still says she wants us to date and she likes me and that shes been open about her sexuality the most with me. But, i feel like im not able to attract her and i dont feel wanted or cared for. She also says that she doesnt want to talk about any of this and its all her fault that she cant be sexual and wants to keep things at a distance but still date. I just dont get it, it seems to me she really likes me but doesnt want me to any other level but kissing and hugging. How can i make her go crazy for me? She says shes attracted to me but how can i make her show her attraction? We agreed that we wouldnt talk about this anymore and that we would step back to when we first started dating and take things a little easier
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (21 December 2010):
Well, credit to this woman for being so secure she won't change at all. I myself am dating an older woman, and I know that they do act differently on a whole new level.
Thing is, you know that ultimately this won't go where you want it to, and you also have come across this problem, which is that you want sex whereas she just doesn't.
I think realistically, this has gone as far as it can go. You sound more like a companion to her than a lover, and maybe that's all she really wants. If you're looking for more, let her go and find a woman that you connect with on all levels. It's not fair to either of you to not be getting what you really want. She seems to want companionship more than anything, whereas you're looking for a relationship that also includes sex. I think the time has come for you to go your separate ways.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2010): Are you talking about my girlfriend. Just joking. It made me feel unappealing and rejected. But it wasn't my looks it was she didn't trust me. She was scared I was going to wam bam her then dump her. I've proven her wrong and now I can't keep her off of me. This might be what's happing with you girlfriend. Talk to her and let her know what's on your mind. I'm sure it's something easily resolved.
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