A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:i had been in affair with married man for 7 months. i knew having sex with married man is no good. but he was a good looking 47 years man and he has a nice body. first, he drove me home after work and he was saying he had cheated his wife before and since then, their bedroom was separated. they have 3 kids. so he said he was trying to keep married.when we arrived at my home he said he wanted to have a glass of water, so i let him in. he knew i am a sinlge mom and separated with my spouse for 1 year. he was trying to hold me but i refused. so nothing happened between us. when he left we exchange cell phone number.so i thought he was trying to be good dad but he wanted to have a sex with any girl just for fun.i felt scared so i quit job then i thought i dont have to see him again. but he sometimes he called me or send me a nice text messages.i started to think about him. that was a mistake. one day he said he wanted to see me, so he came over my place (my kids were grandma's home) and had sex. that was a huge mistake i knew that i did bad thing.since then, he came to my place and had a sex. the sex was very good, really great, our bodies were connected like crazy animals. i was drawn to the great sex. we spent time together almost every friday night at my place, after our great sex, he took shower and left. i knew i was with him just for sex. but he said to me he loves me. and he said i was not allowed to have sex with another man. only him as my sex partner.His wife found out about us and she kicked him out. he stayed at his friends house 2 weeks but they got back together, because of kids.He asked me by e-mail, if I still want to see him. i replied yes i still wanted to see him. he said he cannot forget our make love. i asked him back, if he wanted see me. But he said he wanted see me but he cannot make mistake anymore.. so i replied. we should not see each other anymore.Then he cut all contact with me, e-mail, phone, even facebook. i cannot call him or send e-mail. saddest thing was he erased my name from his facebook friends list.I still hope he call me again and back together. and having a secret love making great sex.i want him back. will he come back to me again??
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2010): "i knew having sex with married man is no good. but he was a good looking 47 years man and he has a nice body"
You sound like a teenager.
"so i thought he was trying to be good dad but he wanted to have a sex with any girl just for fun."
You think he's being a good dad by cheating on his kids mother?
All i hear is "me me me". I suggest you grow up and realise what an awfull thing you have both done. What about his children? I doubt you've considered their feelings.
For a woman in her late 40's you are awfully immature and selfish.
He's not just staying for the kids, that's the oldest line there is and if you believe him you are being very stupid. He had no problem cutting contact with you, what does that tell you? As soon as his wife found out he didn't leave her he came crawling back to her because he wants to be with her and use you for sex.
I'm half your age and even i can see it. Why do you want him back? Because the sex was good? You are being highly selfish and need to consider his children in all this.
He's dropped you and not bothered to contact you, that should have been a wake up call. Do you know how pathetic it makes a woman sound when she's hoping that the guy who uses her for sex will come back and use her some more?
You must be worth more than this, surely. Don't you have any self worth? You need to get some therapy or talk to somebody about your low self esteem because any normal, healthy woman would not degrade herself in this way.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2010): was this post to make people feel sorry for you??
first of all you knew he was married and you still went with him..
then you said you were afraid of him yet you still went with him
then you got caught and you contacted him.
and now that hes broken ties with you your still looking for him what is wrong with you?? do you like drama or just the idea of breaking up a family because you want good sex??
you and him are despicable people i have no sympathy for either of you
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (22 December 2010):
 Well I think you have a shot at screwing him again but ONLY if he can't find another sucker who puts out.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2010): I don't think he will come back because it's clear that he's a coward and is afraid to risk "making a mistake"...that's all he cares about, is his own well being...He obviously doesn't cherish his wife because he's been cheating on her. why not divorce her if he was so unfulfilled in his marriage (he says they were sleeping in separate bedrooms)? probably because he's afraid of the fall out from divorce so he takes the coward's way out which is to stay in the marriage even though he really doesn't want to (as evidenced by his cheating)....then when the wife found out and kicked him out...he then went crawling back to her and cut off all contact with you saying he can't afford to make mistakes. At one time he had said he loves you, now he cuts off all contact just like that. What a coward. You would think that when he got found out and kicked out it would at least be the opportunity to finally for once leave her if he can't be faithful to her. Yet he goes crawling back, as if anything will change now. And his wife is a fool with no self-respect for taking him back when he has been cheating on her and she knows it.
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (20 December 2010):
After I read the first paragraph I did not need to read further.
You are openly, knowingly, and willingly had an affair with a married man. You are both to blame. Any heartache that you feel is self inflicted.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (20 December 2010):
 If you're lucky, you'll never hear from him ever again.
He's despicable and you allowed him to take advantage of you. Whether the sex was "great" or not, is of no significance whatsoever. None. The fact is, he cheated (betrayed) his wife and evidently has no proper respect or care for her either.
Be smart and FORGET this man. COMPLETELY.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2010): What a charming wonderful GIRL she is!
Yes he's a cheat, yes he's an utterly despicable husband, but please READ this woman's posting. She is as MUCH to balme for this, she does indeed sound shallow, in total support CJH's reply. This woman who does have a choice not to have sex with married men, goes along with it, not because she has fallen hopelessly in love over time ( only the minutest human explanation tolerable of falling prey to another woman's husband) but NO, she does it because it was 'SEX ONLY ' her words not mine. " i knew i was with him just for sex "
She needs to find some integrity, and say NO to sex with married men, she is responsible for her own behaviour, regardless of what a man will do, she does not have to.
I do not condone or encourage 'adultery' from either side, and as it's the woman posting, she has to realize this is NOT nice behaviour. Men do not respect it ultimately, and men don't leave wives and children to set up home with females who have sex at the drop of a hat.
Young women need to wise-up!
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A
male
reader, CJH  +, writes (20 December 2010):
 Have you any idea how shallow you sound?
He has a great body and gives you great sex BUT he has a wife!!!! This guys is a cheating rat and does deserve to get caught every time but you, sweetheart, deserve to have your boyfriend cheat on you - just so you can see how it feels to be betrayed that way.
You are part of this - YOU are responsible. Wake up and smell the coffee and stop dating married or attached men - you'll feel so much better for it, trust me.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2010): Some people in this world have no integrity. I don't think he will because he had his piece of cake.
Men, when they have got what they wanted would not look back at the same thing as before.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2010): I think he did you a favour by cutting contact. The whole thing will only hurt you further should it start up again. It's going nowhere is very distructive. For your emotional well being accept you have to put this behind you
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (20 December 2010):
 I don't think he will- if he has any common sense.
The guy was a serial cheater. A lucky one, because he never get caught, before you.
When he get caught cheating with you, his wife displayed admirably some backbone by kicking him out without hesitation. That must have scared him s..tless, because he obviously, for reasons of his, wants to keep his family together.
Listen, it was just sex. Great sex, passionate sex... but it was not love or anything emotionally fulfilling in the long run. At some point, he was gonna be done with the novelty anyway and take French leave.
The sooner the better, so you can learn from this mistake and move on to better things, maybe to a man that you can claim as your own.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (20 December 2010):
What a charming, wonderful man he is.
Wait, not he's not. He's CRAP!
I wish I could personally jump out of this screen and shake you until you saw him for what he is. I can't believe for a second that you want this man back. Let's look at the long list!
1 - He's married. Not that it stops some people, but it should. Him breaking his marriage pretty much sums him up. Worse, it makes a mockery of his very decent wife, who has truly taken her vows seriously. Worse than that, he AND you have made a mockery of those children that he has. He's betraying them as much as his wife, and you're tagging along for the ride. You are hurting his children and his wife as much as him, and neither of you seem to give a damn.
2 - He was found out and kicked out. Now you'd have thought that if he cared about you significantly enough, he might have come to you. NO. He went to a friend, then back to his wife.
3 - He then cut contact with you, which shows you what he thought of you. Not very highly at all. Pretty lowly, in fact.
I doubt he'll come back. If he'd really wanted to, he'd have set up another email account of facebook account for you to contact him. He didn't. He just got rid of you, probably like the other ones before.
He's actually done you a favour. Because, let's face it, in this world a woman having an affair with a married man usually gets worse treatment that the man actually having an affair. You've been spared the worst, so leave it at that. If he comes back, it's essential for you own well being that you turn him down. For two good reasons.
1 - If it's found that you're the mistress, you will be judged exceptionally harshly. Don't ever underestimate the damage that this could do to your reputation. Few men trust a women willing to be part of wrecking a marriage, and few women will want a friend who is willing to perhaps take away their husbands. And this could affect your work as well. Cheating spouses at work and their mistresses can only go so far. They'll block you, maybe even fire you. And that'll be on your Reference.
2 - Let's say that his wife (who is a SAINT) suddenly decides to be a bit vindictive. Let's say that she contacts you child and tells your child what you've been up to. That won't look good for you at all.
When it comes to women having affairs with married men (or vice versa), I cannot emphasize enough that this is more about your reputation than anything else. I've never met a mistress yet who has done well from an affair. I've seen plenty of anger, pain and broken hearts. And I've seen a lot of hurt children, blocked careers and depression.
You should go and find a decent guy instead of a rat. You're a single woman, you can have your pick of decent single guys. Don't pick the only crappy guy in town.
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A
male
reader, soon567 +, writes (20 December 2010):
Just send him a text saying you’re will to sleep with him. Most men want turn down sex. It great when they know it’s just sex so you don’t have to keep lying about that I love you stuff are doing things for them. It’s all about humping. Make it easier for him, just be naked and turn backwards that way when he finishes; he just ease out of the door without feeling guilty.
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