A
female
age
36-40,
*exInTheCity
writes:Hi ya’ll, so here’s the question. It’s my first winter in my new city and I’ve worked long and hard to get here. I’m not making much money yet and it’s a struggle sometimes but I have a plan and I have a job and that’s saying more than a lot of folks have. So my parents are used to me being around and they’re supportive and all that but my mother is making a huge deal of the fact that I’m only going home for the Christmas weekend and then leaving again right away back here to my awesome new city. So the thing is that I need to pick up some hours between Christmas and New years on my second job. My regular job isn’t an issue so my mom thinks I should be staying till New years with them, but I wouldn’t be making any cash then and I’d be seeing my old friends which is great and all but the fact is that I wouldn’t be making any money and I’d be spending money instead. Sooooo, I’ve booked my flight already and it is like this big fight with my mom. Dad I think gets me but mom is a problem. She’s having like her usual meltdown and I’m feeling my usual guilt but I just can’t justify having the week at home earning no cash when I could be in my new city and picking up some hours.Mom says she and dad will give me some money (they’ve been great and helped a lot with school) but their money is tight too and I don’t’ want the feeling that I’m taking cash from them when I’m supposed to be out on my own. And the real deal is that I think they’e hoping I’ll help with my nephew who is 4. I know they love him and I do too, he’s great. But I can take him for like 20 minutes and then I can’t deal with him anymore.Soooo, the guilt is double, they want me to stay longer for my company but I think they want me to stay longer because they want the babysitting help. My brother and his wife think that if I’m home I’m available for baby sitting so they don’t have to put him in daycare and drop off my nephew. She’s not my favorite, my sister-in-law, she got pregnant really young and then it’s pretty clear that she’s not thrilled with being a mommy. So if I’m there, they’re like ‘aunt Tex will love to take see you, little guy’ and they go! I’m done with that, I love my nephew and all but I’m not babysitting him for a week because my mom can’t say no to my brother. But I do love my nephew and he’s great but exhausting and I could use the cash from my other job and they have no money to pay me for the babysitting.So should I be feeling so guilty? Is it unreasonable for them to want me to stay at home for that week or is it unreasonable for me to want to go home to my new city? This is the longest time I’ve been away and the shortest Christmas holiday I’ll be spending with them ever. But I am coming home even though the flight was expensive, but it’ll be really expensive to change it to go back to my new city. Help!
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female
reader, TexInTheCity +, writes (2 January 2011):
TexInTheCity is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you both, I held firm and stuck to my plan. The weather however made other plans! I got back 3 days after the original plan but what can you do. So the nephew was cute and I managed to enjoy it. Mom is crazy but I knew that. I am soooo happy to be HOME, LOL! Thanks again. xx
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (20 December 2010):
I think your father understands entirely, which is a good thing. But your mother is acting like some drama queen. She has no right to staring moaning at you because you're not visiting for 'long enough'. You're visiting, and you're doing the best you can.
I admire you for having two jobs by the way! I can't even get one at the moment, so go back, earn some money and enjoy the new year in that new city of yours! I would!
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