| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
|
Girlfriend of 4 years asks for a break and starts dating someone else!
Q. hi guys Ok so i was with this girl for 4years the minute i met her we clicked instantly and we were good frends for many months before getting into the relationship. We know eachother inside out and we are very close to each other. Just last y...
A. 29 January 2011: Do you seriously want to be labelled a loser who will allow girls to walk over him. Seriously.
Have some self respect, man. This girl has treated you badly, and it's like you want more of it. She won't change her mind. All that will happen is she'... (read in full...)
Boyfriend told me if I don't stop calling so much he will dump me!
Q. Dear Cupid I kind of panicked today since my bf of an year was heavily flirting with an other girl in IM. I snooped around his computer ( i know i shouldnt have done), and found out this and panicked and tried to call him 4-5 times within 4 h...
A. 25 January 2011: All your chances? What chances?
This guy has already dumped you twice, and you've discovered that he's been heavily flirting. Are you not even a little bit suspicious that he's cheating and just using you. Because I am!
He doesn't seem interest... (read in full...)
Girlfriend of 4 years asks for a break and starts dating someone else!
Q. hi guys Ok so i was with this girl for 4years the minute i met her we clicked instantly and we were good frends for many months before getting into the relationship. We know eachother inside out and we are very close to each other. Just last y...
A. 25 January 2011: I've seen this one before.
What she's doing is hedging her bets. Let's say it goes wrong with this guy. She'll come crawling back, say she's 'sorry' and 'made a mistake', then expect you to fall into line until such time as she wants to see some... (read in full...)
We can't have vaginal sex due to my girlfriend's health issue, is it wrong to ask for oral?
Q. My girlfriend can't have sex at the moment due to a health issue with her vagina. She is hopefully seeing a gyno soon to figure out what's up. My question: should she offer to perform oral on me while we go sexless? if she does not offer (she h...
A. 25 January 2011: I would be more concerned as to what this illness is. Let's say she has an infection - you might have it.
I would just not bother about the sex until you know what's up. You don't want to start passing infections around, or have her getting wors... (read in full...)
My boyfriend "forgot" to get me a birthday and Christmas present!
Q. My BF forgot to buy me a bday gift and an Xmas gift...well he did not think it was necessary to buy me an Xmas gift (he bought gifts for his friends and family). I was SO hurt by this I did not talk to him for like 2 weeks, and then I told him how ...
A. 25 January 2011: I would wake up. Not to put a fine point to it, but I find it hard to believe that he 'forgot' to buy you presents. It's usually a sign of a pretty self centred person.
Look beyond the gifts to who he really is, and really watch as to whether you ... (read in full...)
Should I keep my married boyfriend's baby?
Q. I have been seeing a married man for almost 4 years he has been married 6 yrs. I know I will be judged and for the most part for what I have read on this topic, answers seem to be one sided. Always blaming the mistress. It takes two selfish,cheaters ...
A. 25 January 2011: I'll get to the point.
There is no love at all from this man. None. He's a very controlling man who has had his way at your expense entirely. He's basically made it clear that he will not leave his wife, which is the same as saying "you're the mist... (read in full...)
How do I turn our sex around, will counseling help?
Q. I have been in a relationshp with my boyriend for 8 yars and we always had a good sex life in 2009 i became pregnant with our daughter and since than we have had sex once and both were drunk. His excuse is hes tired. I need to know what to do to ...
A. 25 January 2011: Counselling can point you in the direction of problems, not solve them. So, if both of you wanted to sort this out, then you could go and try to solve this using a counsellor.
Sadly, you're in the position where he won't go. That's simply not good... (read in full...)
He cheated, I cheated, then he cheated again.
Q. I am so confused. I can't decide whether to stay with my fiance or leave him for another guy. My fiance and I have lived together for the past 5 years. In the beginning he was cheating on me another girl that was his actual girlfriend at the time. ...
A. 25 January 2011: He cheated on his girlfriend with you.
He then cheated on you.
You cheated on him.
You're now reconnecting with this person you cheated with, and he's locked his computer and is probably cheating.
You two should just end it. Neither of you a... (read in full...)
Should we tell our good friend that we saw her new husband on an online dating website?
Q. Dear Agony Aunt, I am in a group of 8 women that travel and play a sport together. We have known each other a very long time and are good friends. One of my friends divorced her husband of 25 years to be with another man. This man had been single ...
A. 25 January 2011: Truthfully, you're best to stay out of it. She left her husband for this man, so I doubt she will suddenly listen to people that he's not that great. More likely is that she'll distance herself from you.
I would just be there for when this goes... (read in full...)
Are there any couples out there who are 100% faithful to one another?
Q. I dont know if it's because Ive been reading the articles on this site too often (this being a relationship help site and all), but it seems that everywhere I look, people are unfaithful to each other. Im basically asking, are there any couples ...
A. 25 January 2011: I've never cheated on any of my girlfriends. Sadly, one did cheat on me. But none of the others did, and my current one hasn't.
There are people who don't cheat. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend claims he love me. So why does he sleep around?
Q. If my boyfriend says he loves me, then why does he engage in casual sex with others? ...
A. 25 January 2011: Because he doesn't love you, I'm afraid. You can always measure someone on their actions, and his actions say that he's just using you.
The time has come to move on. ... (read in full...)
Should I stick with guys who bore me, or wait for the players to change their ways?
Q. I seemed to be having a hard time to finding someone that I can have a relationship with. I talk to plenty of guys, but once the relationship begins, I get bored of them... Or the guys that are intresting to me, end up being jerks and want to get in ...
A. 25 January 2011: I think rather than settle, you need to just have fun. The players won't ever change, so don't bother waiting for them. But I think you also need to a do some growing so you have a better understanding of men. If you're consistently picking either ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is having an affair, and I don't know what to do!
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together over a year now but lately our relationship is falling apart as we have begain to row about 3 months ago he told me he could meet up for a while as wanted to sort our his career etc but i later found out he has ...
A. 25 January 2011: Dump him, don't stay for God's sake.
Look, this guy already lied to your face and called you paranoid. You then found out that he was lying, and you ended it. You've taken him back, and he's still doing it.
You have nothing to gain here. Nothing.... (read in full...)
He gets softer when giving me oral!
Q. My boyfriend loves me giving him oral sex, however i love him eating me out.. But he doesn't tend to enjoy it as he gets abit softer when he does it.. Am i doing anything wrong? What do i to make surs he enjoys giving me oral sex? Thakyou. x...
A. 25 January 2011: Robin Williams had the best line ever to describe this:
- A man has two brains, but only enough blood to reach one of the other.
Meaning that when your boyfriend is focused on you, his body won't function elsewhere! So, maybe grip him or talk dir... (read in full...)
Girlfriend thinks I am too nice?
Q. Hello, theres a girl i know from the internet and I've got a problem now. Well, I know her for 3 months now and i felt in love with her. We have often contact through chat, skype and webcam. Anyway we're in a relationship now and now she asked me...
A. 25 January 2011: Please don't change. At all. You're a nice guy, and the world always needs nice guys.
What the world does not need is yet another immature girl trying to change a nice guy! Either your girlfriend accepts you as you are, or you might just as well... (read in full...)
Selfish boyfriend - porn and sex all for him and not for me
Q. My boyfriend and I have been seeing eachother for about 7 months. I love him and want to do anything to make us work, but I feel like he's more interested in porn than me. We have sex once a week, if that, and usually I have to ask for it to get it. ...
A. 25 January 2011: At 7 months, no decent relationship should be like this. This goes beyond just porn. The porn I get - that's not an indication that he isn't attracted to you.
But he's not interested in you at all. He basically turns up for his own pleasure then... (read in full...)
My fiancee doesn't want to make love any more and its tearing me apart.
Q. I have been with my Fiancee for 2 years and love her with all my heart but it seems like she just doesnt wanna sleep with me anymore. Before we moved in together the passion was strong and chemistry couldnt be contained. we used to make love at ...
A. 25 January 2011: I think you need to have another discussion with her seriously about where this is going.
The fact is, sex IS important in a relationship. It's clearly not everything, but it's big enough to cause marriages to collapse. You say now that you won'... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is nice to me when I give him money
Q. Dear Cupid My bf would be nice to me for few days if i lend him money. Then again he starts avoiding me. Will again be attentive when he needs money. I tried talking to him and he says he'll chnage but never did. He works and gets good pay ...
A. 25 January 2011: He's only with you for the money, nothing else. Please get away from him. That's the only advice anyone can offer I think.... (read in full...)
Was she out of line?
Q. okay today my friend went completely mad and started shouting at this girl and calling her a slut. so basically the girl walks home with the guy my friend likes and another guy but the other guy wasn't there so it was only the two of them. on the ...
A. 24 January 2011: I'm afraid your friend was out of line.
Your friend might like this other guy, but she's not going out with him. She has no claim to him whatsoever. So for your friend to then have ago at another girl for no reason at all is totally out of line... (read in full...)
How am I supposed to trust him again and be able to move past this without ending our relationship?
Q. i've been with my boyfriend since i was 16 years old and its been a few years now but when we first started dating, the night i lost my virginity to him i went through his cell phone afterward and found text messages to multiple girls in a sexual ...
A. 24 January 2011: End it. Look, he broke your trust once, and in fairness to you, you gave him a second chance. But he's breaking it again, and will continue to do so without any real regard for you.
There is a time to accept that the person you're with just isn'... (read in full...)
How do I stop comparing him to how he was when we just had a sexual relationship to now being in a real gf/bf relationship?
Q. I need some advice. I have been seeing this guy for a few years but we were both married at the time. Now we are both currently divorced and want to try and make this a "real" relationship. I can't help but feel so insecure and jealous when he says ...
A. 24 January 2011: You have now struck the single biggest problem that relationships that basically start as affairs have.
Thing is, when you were both married and seeing each other quietly, neither of you got to know each other properly. All you saw were the 'goo... (read in full...)
Married and have feelings for another man
Q. I am a married woman. I have been married to the same man for almost 20 years. He loves me with all his heart. He is loyal, a good father to our kids, and he does everything for me. He puts up with me even when I am not nice to him. Any woman would ...
A. 24 January 2011: STAY WITH YOUR HUSBAND!
All right, so there is chemistry between you and this other man. Do you know what that means? Nothing. Nothing at all. It just means that if something was to happen, for a year maybe you'd be blissful, then the chemistry woul... (read in full...)
He is choosing his mates over a special weekend I planned for us ages ago!
Q. Hi, I have been with my boyfriend since august 2009 and met him on holiday. I originally lived in Southampton, and he lives in Kent. In June 2009 I decided that I will move up to Kent to make the relationship work, so had left my friends and fami...
A. 24 January 2011: I would agree with Honeypie. I think you'd do better to find someone else to go with. You've already lost this one, period. Nothing you say or do will make him change his mind about the stag weekend.
I would be cautious as to how you take this... (read in full...)
Advice on how to help me get over my stutter
Q. hey, i've got quite a bad stutter, and more often than not whenever i approach people they can't get past it and although are kind to me while i'm there, once i leave i hear them tease me and take the mickey. this obviously takes a toll on my con...
A. 24 January 2011: My friend used to have a stutter, and to be honest the only way he got over it was to see an elocution specialist. Maybe if your stutter is bad, you should try that. Of if you are stressed, then maybe you need to see a counsellor to try and sort out ... (read in full...)
Why cant one of the twins find a man yet the other has guys falling at her feet? They are basically the same person!
Q. Ok so last night we had a big discussion on this topic and we would like to get other opinions ... You can be honest we need answers !! Ok here we go .. We have a two good friend there twins .. Twin A is a nice girl very funny loves sports . She ...
A. 24 January 2011: Take it from a man - they're not similar. There are differences between twins/siblings etc. The fact is, TWIN B sounds like she has a far more open personality just from what you've said. And that's all it really takes to be honest.
Also, one does... (read in full...)
I'm leaving my abusive partner, but should I give my children the chance to say goodbye?
Q. hello, about a month ago i posted a question about wanting to leave my abusive fiancee and needing help. i have decided to leave, and have a plan in place to get out of here as soon as i have the money saved .. probably mid april or so. i have ...
A. 24 January 2011: Just leave. Staying or letting them say goodbye will give everyone the wrong idea and cause you more pain and trouble. ... (read in full...)
My friend set me up with a male friend of hers, but now she's acting jealous! Should I go through with meeting him?
Q. My friend wanted to set me up with one of her guy friends. I talked to him over e-mail and he wants to meet up. He lives in another state but said he would drive up to see me. I'm nervous because what if he sees me and isn't interested? I'm just ...
A. 22 January 2011: Yes. My advice is to meet him. Your friend is jealous, which means the guy might be a decent one. Don't waste time of your friend of a drama queen. She set you two up, so she can butt out. Go meet him and have gun. ... (read in full...)
How can I make my boyfriend feel better about my past?
Q. I am a 17 year old girl, and my boyfriend is 19. We've only been dating for about 2 months, and I just recently got out of an abusive relationship of a year. He knows this, of course. He can't seem to get over the fact that we messed around, even ...
A. 22 January 2011: Please end it with him. You were seriously abused by one guy, and you've gone on and now met another guy who I think will abuse you too.
A truly wonderful man will accept your past, no matter what. Your boyfriend knows that you have been thro... (read in full...)
I want to attract and interest a certain guy, but in a subtle way. Any ideas please?
Q. What do boys look for in a girl? Please help I need a boyfriend but I want a certain guy, but I don't think that guy likes me! How do I get him to notice me without talking to him, I want him to come to me!...
A. 22 January 2011: You won't get him to come to you. You'll just confuse him. If you like him, talk to him. Don't waste your time sending out signals and signs, because he won't see them, or he'll think you're just a tease.
Talk to him - it's the only real way to b... (read in full...)
My ex-wife and fiancee cannot both be at my father's funeral...what do I do?
Q. I have a dilemma that I doubt I will get much sympathy from here. I recently divorced after a year long separation following an affair. I live with my mistress and we are in love and planning to get married in a year or so. She has met all of m...
A. 22 January 2011: I agree with the OP. A funeral is not a place for drama at all, and the ex wife is just that - an ex.
OP, take your fiance, and let your ex get on with it. ... (read in full...)
My husband's ex is driving me crazy. Please, any tips on how I can handle this situation better?
Q. My husband's ex in 2006 took their daughter to Indiana, to live closer to her boyfriend (who was in prison for child molesting)... When she came back a year and a half later she sued my husband for child support. DHR agreed with her. She should have ...
A. 22 January 2011: No disrespect, but your husband needs to start standing up more. All this stuff that she's doing is good, solid evidence and with proof (i.e. tape recordings etc), he could walk over her in court. His daughter sounds like she's being abused, and ... (read in full...)
If guys know they love a girl, then do they still want to party and see girls, instead of settling down now?
Q. I met a guy, dated for a month, broke up and didn't speak for a month and a half. Then started talking again and became best friends. It's been six months since we've become best friends, we're each others only best friends, and we recently admi...
A. 22 January 2011: Basically, you're just being kept around as a spare. Any guy who truly loved a woman wouldn't waste time sleeping around - he'd get on and commit.
And, like the others have said, he never said he loved you. He just said he liked you. So perh... (read in full...)
Homesick in Canada! How do I cope?
Q. Ok well basically im 15 nearly 16. 5 months ago i moved from england to canada. i have moved so much in my life and i finally lived somewhere where i had the most amazing friends, family and school and it all fell apart when i moved here. so my ...
A. 22 January 2011: You need to talk to someone - parent or counsellor, or teacher - about how you're feeling. The worst thing to do is to bottle up your feelings, because all you're doing is then bursting into tears. You need to confront the issue of this move, and ... (read in full...)
He moves on from girl to girl but he has never moved onto me!
Q. Ok so he came to my school this year, and since then we have been bestfriends. In the beggining (first days i knew him) i really liked him and he liked me, but he never told me and i never told him and so i still liked him but then he liked my...
A. 22 January 2011: Why would you want to go out with a guy who'll just dump you anyway?
I think you need to be very careful, because like a lot of teenagers, you're overlooking the fact that he can't really commit and has never shown interest in your other than to s... (read in full...)
She just up and left him out of the blue!1
Q. Hi all, Would like peoples views on the following. My friend is in a situation wher his girlfriend has left him out the blue for a friend of her's, myself and other friends of his think that she has just done it without giving it any thought as...
A. 22 January 2011: I don't think it's healthy at all for people to go from one relationship straight to another. And from what I've seen, most of them do go on to break down.
And you're right to tell him to move on. This girl made a quick decision, in which case she ... (read in full...)
How do guys know if a girl is good at oral sex?
Q. Ok so to my thoughts i really think i dont know how to give a bj. But every time i give it to a guy they say " Oh ur amazing" or you're a pro". I mean, I really think i suck.. sometimes I think they lie. Last night I was with a guy and he ...
A. 21 January 2011: We just know. And apparently you're good at it, so quit worrying. ... (read in full...)
It seems like she wants me to chase her, even though we are official!
Q. My girlfriend and I have been talking for a year and some change now, and just in September we made it official. But its like she wants me to chase her, its like she doesn't like to call or respond to my texts unless I contact her. If i don't ...
A. 21 January 2011: You're wasting your time, is what's happening. I'm all for a bit of chasing in a relationship, but it needs to be mutual. Your girlfriend is acting like a bit of a diva to be honest. Also, you've found suspicious activity, which might go on to ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my teacher how I feel about him?
Q. Basically I'm in love with my teacher, yeah you've heard it all before I understand, this is just typical, he pays me special attention, touches my body like waist and arms. He makes jokes that can be taken in different ways and says things I could ...
A. 21 January 2011: Most definitely do not tell him.
It's completely illegal, and you could get him fired. I know, because a girl I knew told her teacher and he took it further. He got fired and is now a sex offender, and she was expelled. Both lives, basically wrec... (read in full...)
She helped me get a job before we broke up, and now I feel guilty for leaving!
Q. Me and this girl dated for just over a month(but felt like a year). She was extremely verablly and emotionally abusive, and i still dont understand why she insulted me, belittled me and harassed me so much because i treated like a queen, gave her ...
A. 21 January 2011: Don't call. Just focus on the fact that she treated you badly at other times, and call it quits there. Leave her in the past. You'll be better for it. ... (read in full...)
Does being really good in bed make you a hoe?
Q. The man that I am seeing has constantly accused me of cheating when my loyalty towards him has only been solid and faithful. I believe it is his own insecurities that make him act the way he does at times. Whenever he goes out drinking he tell...
A. 21 January 2011: This is where you dump the man. Here we have a man who is supposed to care about you, but instead treats you like dirt. Rather than sitting there and listening to him, you should be dumping him and moving on. It's clear that this man has come with ... (read in full...)
She wants to take a break because her dad does not like me, will she ever come back?
Q. well heres the details of what my problem is, i was with this girl whom i am fucking crazy about. she says she realy likes me, we was together for about 6 to 8 months but her dad hates me we had always had to sneak around to be together. finaly we ...
A. 21 January 2011: I'd move on, if I were you. I think that this girl has a few too many problems that she's dragging along. At some point her father would find out again, and you'd be dumped again. You don't want to wind up being treated like a yo-yo.
She could have... (read in full...)
How long can a FWB situation last?
Q. I have been in a fwb situation for more than two years on and off. i was wondering how long can this situation last? ...
A. 21 January 2011: It will last as long as you both allow it to last. When one of you decides you've had enough, then it will stop. ... (read in full...)
| *aringGuy's friends
These are mutual friends, so *aringGuy has
added them and they have added *aringGuy!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
