A
female
age
36-40,
*ighschoolsweetheart16
writes:i've been with my boyfriend since i was 16 years old and its been a few years now but when we first started dating, the night i lost my virginity to him i went through his cell phone afterward and found text messages to multiple girls in a sexual manor. we have moved past from that day now, but we were having a big fight this past weekend and i noticed that he was texting another girl, while he was drunk and already pissed off at me. so i flipped out on him, was i wrong to do that? now remember that he has never been able to text a girl without it turning sexual so how am i supposed to trust him again and be able to move past this without ending our relationship? or should i just end it?
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female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (3 February 2011):
 I just saw your recent post. I don't think you should wait for anything. It's hard for you to let go and move on so you're trying desperately to give him another chance. Don't do it, be strong.
Why is he texting another girl? Just because it hasn't turned sexual yet he shouldn't really be texting some other girl, should he?
Ask yourself this..."Is there a future for me with this man? Is there a future with him where I am happy and not insecure that he'll cheat on me again? Is there a future with him where he respects and loves me? Is there a future with him where he isn't in contact with other women trying to find the next one he'll cheat on me with?
If you answer no to any of these questions, let him go. You're young and you'll have many chances to find a man who repsects, appreciates and loves you. Don't waste you on someone like your current boyfriend.
A
female
reader, highschoolsweetheart16 +, writes (25 January 2011):
highschoolsweetheart16 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for all of the help on my question, but i would also like to say that the texts have been almost two years ago and i just noticed that he was texting another girl but nothing has turned sexual in the texts. should i wait and see if he even messes up with this girl before saying that he is going to do it?
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A
female
reader, Lexie88 +, writes (24 January 2011):
The trust in this relationship was lost a long time ago. I don't think that you can get it back and I think that you know that. The hard part for you is accepting change, leaving someone you've been with for so long and going into the unknown.
You can do it! As CaringGuy said, your boyfriend will never change. You took him back once and he's broken your trust again. He will do it to you again and again. Don't let him.
You need to be strong and realise there is life after him. You deserve much much better :)
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A
female
reader, Chelsea15  +, writes (24 January 2011):
Hi hunnie,I agree with you 100%, I don't think you were in the wrong for going mad as you have every right to. In my opinion I dont think you can trust him. If he can never text a girl without it turning sexual, well then that says it all. He has done it once and got away with it why should he get away with it this time? At the end of the day all relationships have their problems where they argue, but that dosen't mean he has the right to text other girls. Follow your heart and it will guide you. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (24 January 2011):
End it. Look, he broke your trust once, and in fairness to you, you gave him a second chance. But he's breaking it again, and will continue to do so without any real regard for you.
There is a time to accept that the person you're with just isn't the one for you, and isn't that great. And you're now at that time. He won't suddenly change into a guy who cares, and he won't stop treating you this way.
So the question now is do you have enough respect for yourself to move on from this guy? Because that's what you need to do.
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