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female
age
30-35,
*apalm_Angelripper
writes:I dont know if it's because Ive been reading the articles on this site too often (this being a relationship help site and all), but it seems that everywhere I look, people are unfaithful to each other.Im basically asking, are there any couples out there that have been completely, 100% faithful to each other? I'd especially like to know if there are any older couples together, that have been together for much longer who have also been faithful to each other?I just need someone to restore my faith in humanity.Thanks for all your input,-The Resident Metalhead Reply to this Question
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female
reader, belucha  +, writes (8 March 2011):
there is no such thing as a faithful man there is just a man without an opportunity to cheat.we are human we are unconsciously looking for something better to come along.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2011): My bf(48) and I(41) have been together for 2 yrs now and I have no issues that he would go anywhere else, as I haven't either. We still have relationship issues as everyone does and our sex life is great. But we also work different shifts so only get to sleep next to each other for about an hour in the morning and on the weekends.
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male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (27 January 2011):
Dear Napalm, fortunately there is such faithful couples on the earth. So, not everything is lost yet.
Anyway, quoting: "Recent studies reveal that 45-55% of married women and 50-60% of married men engage in extramarital sex at some time or another during their relationship (Atwood & Schwartz, 2002 - Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy)"
Such statistics are not a good sign. Specially for people wanting fidelity from their sexual partner, like you (and me).
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011): well of course on this site you will see a lot of stories of cheating. That's because people who are happy and content in their relationships don't tend to come onto sites like this to cry for help!it's like working in a hospital and thinking that no one in the world has good health, that everyone has some life threatening condition.I think most couples will have experience with infidelity. Maybe not in that particular pairing, but each person in the couple has likely either been unfaithful in the past (maybe with a previous partner) or had it happen to them. Being unfaithful can mean something as simple as having feelings for someone else even if nothing becomes physical. that's still infidelity because it's taking away something from your relationship (in this case emotional investment).And even if you've never cheated before (or had your partner cheat), this says nothing about the future. most people who get into affairs knew it was wrong, and never thought they would ever do it until the "right" mix of circumstances occurred (namely involving a high level of unhappiness in the marriage as a prerequisite).
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female
reader, Jen1689  +, writes (26 January 2011):
 I'm 22, and my fiance and I have been dating for just over two years now. We have been 100% faithful to one another in this time. I could never dream of going near another man. My fiance is the only man I've been able to look at in the two years we've spent together. I can see building a wonderful life with him and no one else, which is I guess why it's so easy for me to shy away from looking at others. I want to grow old with this man, and I can't see that with any other person. I can see a happy future for us. Getting married, buying a house, having kids, etc. You can't find that satisfaction with many people. That's how I think I can keep myself in check and keep a positive spin on "resisting the urge to cheat", whatever that is.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2011): Known my boyfriend since i was 14...for more than half my life. Never felt the need to think about another man and neither has he ever cheated or even remotely hurt me. I can bet my life on the fact that the guy can give up his life for me in a heartbeat. Iv literally grown up with him...its been almost 15 yrs together...and never has a day gone by, when I'm not thankful to have him in my life. Sure we fight....but thats all a part of the relationship. Cheating-NEVER.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2011): To the last male anon: your story is very sad. Do u still love your wife? Even after the divorce is there no chance of reconciliation? Has your ex wife moved on? Your words are filled with regret and pain. You have no started the healing process yet. Have u considered apologising to your wife, really saying that u are sorry for the pain u caused her? You day the affair destroyed everything. It certainly destroyed you. But all is not lost. What did you learn from the affair and the destruction of your marriage? Has it made you a better person? Has it made you treasure your family and other relations even more? I am sure you have kids, so have you also apologised to them.Perhaps u should write a letter to the people you have hurt. Maybe this would be easier? Use this as a first step to start your healing process.I never condone affairs, so I will not get into the merits of right/wrong with you. You know that you did wrong and now you paid the ultimate price. BUT you have a chance to turn your life around.LoveGirl
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2011): I never cheated in over 25 years of dating, sex, and marriage. I went through a midlife crisis that was fueled by a complex mix of problems in my marriage of 15 years, and had an affair. It ended my marriage and I am an emotional wreck over it.
I never had a concrete answer as to why I cheated after all those years of fidelity, but it had something to do with an eternal emptiness in my soul that craved something. The affair did not solve anything. It destroyed everything. I will spend the rest of my life making sure others dont make the same mistake I did.
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reader, C. Grant +, writes (25 January 2011):
 chigirl has it exactly right. It's awfully rare for someone to post on DC saying everything's great (although it *does* happen sometimes, and those posts are a breath of fresh air). There *are* lots of successful and faithful relationships out there.
Love Girl, that was a great post.
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reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (25 January 2011):
 Been married since April 1975. We have been totally faithful to each other (other than his Playboy collection which he only keeps because of the wonderful articles).
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2011): I think most of you will associate me as being the *itch Aunt who doesn't mince her words (therefore most of my responses are BLOCKED) but I would like to brag:I have never cheatedMy hb claims that he has also never cheated. (Btw, I have asked him, bec after going through the dozens of cheating stories on DC, I do a reality check on my marriage). I believe my HBs response. Because firstly I am a very clever first wife and secondly he knows I will take him to the cleaners after bawling my eyes out and thirdly bec I Love him.I am going to be married for 20 years this year. Good years but 2010 was the most challenging. I think maybe my hormones also started playing havoc with me so I must say half of the "issues" we faced was my fault. Challenges came in many forms: ill health, small accidents, death of a parent, communication issues and the normal crap that we all face.Sex life also varied (I did say I wanted to brag_lol) some good, other times could be better. I also came to the realisation that frequent does not mean better.Cheating is a deliberate choice. And I have (as well as my hb) made the choice to be faithful.Does married life get boring, routine/mundane? A big Yes! Would I trade in this life. A resounding No! I actively (purposefully) work on my marriage. I take the initiative. I get creative. I fail sometimes.I get frustrated as well bec my hubby is not the most romantic. But he recently told me: he will do it all over again- he would still marry me if given a choice. Those words stay in my heart, it humbles me, brings tears to my eyes.Can we improve in our relationship. Yes! Sometimes I can murder him for just being him. BUT at least he is here with me instead of f*cking around, pretending to be faithful. Now this is a reality .What do I love about my hb: he thinks I am crazy. I can tell him naughty things and he just shakes his head. I will sms him and tell him I am waiting in bed. Or I booked us into A hotel a few kms away from our home , just to have sex. See, after 20 years I have to keep the flames burning.Why do I stay faithful? One of the reasons is the many stories on DC, the hurt/betrayal/humiliation/ the pain/tears/sorrow of people who have been cheated on. This is an eye opener and I know I will never want my hb to walk that tortuous walk. Bec I love him I would Never put him through that. Marriage is what u make of it. It has its bad elements. It definitely has good as well. It is not perfect. Does the shouting matches get any better? Does each spouse really need to win every argument? Sometimes we need to just let it be. Strangely enough, it makes you a better person.Other emotional attachments: do I form 'special relationships' with other men. I think I must be mad after what I read on DC. So the answer is No. I know what emotional affairs do, the pain and the betrayal. So I make a choice not to form special friendships with men.My marriage is a choice.My choice to remain faithful is the very fibre of my being. I take this very seriously. I want to stress something: My hb is not my best friend. He is 'a friend' to me.I treat him like a hb (with all the trimmings).sometimes spouses are so used to being a best friend that they forget the intimacies of being a spouse. I know I have gone off the topic here but I just wanted to share my life and marriage with you. Marriage is bloody hard work. Whoever tells you otherwise (I think) is lieing. But the rewards are so great, the love overflows and the days just turn into weeks, weeks into months and months into years.To all on DC (I know I am naïve in saying this, but will say it nevertheless) Make a choice to be faithful, walk away from temptations (easier said than done??),work through those hurdles, embrace the challenges. In everything keep your sanity, Remain true to yourself. You can fool others but not all of the time. Make a personal choice and stick to it. In the end it speaks volumes of your character, morals, dignity and your self worth.BTW dear Cupids, I earn more than my hb, I have more tertiary education than him, I am acceptable looking (sometimes a bad hair day), I am smart, clever, have self esteem, and most of the time I know what I want. I make the biggest boo boos (undercover blonde) and I am one of the worse drivers I know. But that man puts up with me, comes home to me, and loves me. To the OP: believe in love and faithfulness. It does exist. It is a choice!From the ever un/popular aunt....more like infamous ....LoveGirl [Mod note: We would encourage this aunt to read the posting guidelines, if she is sincere about having answers published, particularly numbers 1 and 6. "1) No submissions are accepted that contain harsh character judgements, victim-blaming and other unecessary, unhelpful comments that may cause emotional distress/harm to others." "6) No submissions are accepted that could cause flame wars. We ask all posters to display a mature restraint-do not bait, embarass nor publicly humiliate the questioner and other responders on the threads. Trolls will be banned." http://www.dearcupid.org/pages/answer-guidelines.html ]
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2011): Yes, there have to be. I've never cheated on my wife, and I'm sure there are wives who've never cheated on their husbands. Therefore, there have to be couples who have never cheated on each other.But infidelity is very common, and the reasons and excuses for it are extraordinarily broad.The only thing you can do is remain true to yourself, no matter what happens, and that will stand you in good stead. But, to do that, you must know and understand yourself, and that is the real challenge.
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reader, rouge +, writes (25 January 2011):
 Yeah there are couples out there and you will find it if you wait. Don't rush things and remember don't cheat, if your relationship iss not working out try to fix it; if not leave it. cheers;)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2011): Yes there are a lot of people who are faithful, it's just you always hear about the ones who aren't!
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (25 January 2011):
 Yes, there are faithful couples everywhere. Don't lose hope.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (25 January 2011):
 You can never use dearcupid.org as a place to get a good overview over relationships world wide. Here many come with their problems, here all the bad things about relationships, insecurities, worries, they all come here. The ones who are happy... why would they need to come here, this site isn't for people to brag about how lovely their relationship is. So naturally you will not find those relationships on here, or read about them.
You've been on the site too much. I know how that works, it happens from time to time that I too have read one too many questions on here and start to doubt my own relationships, myself, or my friends even. But you got to remember to trust people around you and take them for who THEY are, and not believe that they will be like people who come on HERE.
Besides, if you look closer, most questions on here are not about cheating, it's often about insecurities, and needing that push to leave a relationship that is bad for you, or help to understand the other. People come here to try and fix things, work them out, and to grow.
And remember... the relationships that are working out do not post questions on here, except for the odd one that doesn't know what to get the other for the anniversary or birthday. There are good relationships out there, and plenty who never cheat, and are good, honest and decent, never hit or hurt, or steal or lie. But, no person is perfect, everyone has their flaws, it's just a matter of finding that one person who's BS is worth putting up with, and get rid of the ones who's BS isn't worth it.
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reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (25 January 2011):
I've never cheated on any of my girlfriends. Sadly, one did cheat on me. But none of the others did, and my current one hasn't.
There are people who don't cheat.
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reader, sammi star +, writes (25 January 2011):
 Well I'm not a great deal older than you but I've been with my bf for 2 years and I've been completely faithful as he has to me.
I was with my last patner 7 years and completely faithful during that time too.
Be nice to hear some success stories for a change, I often look at older couples such as my grandparents who have been together for almost 50 years and wonder why that doesn't happen these days...now there's an interesting discussion!
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2011): i have :) over one year now and i feel sick at the idea of cheatind on my bf, i love him and im 22 btw
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reader, Welsh Uncle Dave +, writes (25 January 2011):
there are plenty of faithful couples, you won't find many on this site though
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