A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Basically I'm in love with my teacher, yeah you've heard it all before I understand, this is just typical, he pays me special attention, touches my body like waist and arms. He makes jokes that can be taken in different ways and says things I could take as a joke or seriously. He hasn't asked me put but others in class say he states at me and i have caught him doing it but he doesn't even pretend it was something else he just rather looks me right in the eyes or smiles at me. He will come into a room of about 20 people and speak to me straight away. He tells me he is relaxed with me and because I've researched it I know we mirror body language and he does tell tail signs with body language that says he is interested. I'm leaving this school in 5 months and I'm seriously thinking about telling him how I feel, he won't be my teacher anymore although I will be going to college. Should I tell him? What should I say? What might he do if it turns out he doesn't feel the same? And what are some good reasons to spend time alone with him, he is a woodwork teacher and is only in school one day a week :(
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (4 February 2011):
 Okay which one of you guys blew out the margin???? CT?????
A
female
reader, deadgirl  +, writes (4 February 2011):
don't tell him
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A
female
reader, deadgirl +, writes (4 February 2011):
Hi,I know how you feel because I'm in the same situation except I have already left school. There's a teacher who I thought liked me and after I visited the school a week ago, I realised that I was wrong. I did not know what to say to the teacher and I was saying random things (which made me sound rude). There were other students there as well... which made me realise that I'm not a favourite student and never will be!my advice is DO NOT tell him. Keep it in yourself. Sometimes we tend to overthink these things and have the wrong interpretation. You will regret it if you tell him. Firstly, if your interpretation is wrong, you will be heartbroken. Secondly, he could get in a lot of trouble from the principal. Even if he hasn't done anything to you sexually, just letting the principal know that a student likes him, could ruin his reputation. so don't tell him!I know it sucks. Let's pray we get over this as soon as possible. It really hurts and sucks
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A
female
reader, cupidgirl101 +, writes (25 January 2011):
as a teacher, this is appaling. I hope that this man is just being friendly and you are reading the signs wrong as no self respecting educator would have a thing for a teenager. Walk away.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (21 January 2011):
 http://www.dearcupid.org/question/crushes-on-teachers.html
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2011): you definitely shouldn't:1. it is against the law for anything to happen between you two2. you may think it's love but at your age you haven't emotionally and sexually matured so your hormones are everywhere and telling you all different thingsfinally ....3. find someone your own age , someone who if you were with he's not going to go to jail lol :)
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (21 January 2011):
 First of all, it doesnt matter how old you are, ALL teacher/pupil relationships are frowned upon.
Up until the age of 18, it is ILLEGAL.
At Universities it is frowned upon and can be a sackable offense.
When a teacher signs up to the profession, we agree something called "duty of care". This basically is an agreement that we will look after our pupils best interests and act as a parent whilst you are under our supervision.
We are in a position of trust to vulnerable young children who are still growing and learning. That makes them impressionable and easy to manipulate. He could currently be charged with "abuse of trust" and that is a sackable offense. By havaing an innapropriate relationship with you.
http://www.teachernet.gov.uk/wholeschool/familyandcommunity/childprotection/usefulinformation/abuseoftrust/
I quote
"From time to time staff may encounter young people who display attention-seeking behaviour, or profess to be attracted to them. Staff should aim to deal with those situations sensitively and appropriately, but ensure that their behaviour cannot be misinterpreted. In these circumstances, the member of staff should also ensure that a senior colleague is aware of the situation."
IF he is a good teacher, his senior manager will already be aware of your infatuation with him. Teachers talk to each other - as a form of safety against false allegations of sexual harrassment. If he feels you could be an issue, there may well already be a report on you somewhere in a file. In case you made any move on him, senior staff would be aware and would know it was you, not him making the running.
If he hasnt said anything, then what your teacher is doing is WRONG and against all the rules.
I can tell you now, that he DOES NOT have feelings for you.
No grown man would be interested in having a relationship with a teenager. Be you 15,16,17 or 18. He is a grown man, who requires an adult relationship, not to have to look after a child. Until you are 18, you are still a child, whether you like it or not. You cannot do the things an adult would do, even seeing an 18 film!
IF he is telling you all the things you say in your question, then he is in the wrong, and he is grooming you. He doesnt want to be your boyfriend, he has very bad intentions. He is dangerous. You need to stay away from him. He is a danger to every child in that school and needs to be reported.
What you see as "love" is just teenage infatuation and hormones. In 10 years time, you will look back and wonder what the hell you were thinking.
This is a common problem amongst teenagers. I can say with utter faith that everyone has fancied at teacher at some point in their lives. EVERYONE. BUT you should never act on it. It is a crush. Teenage hormones. You dont love him, he doesnt love you. Get over it.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/advice/factfile_az/teacher_fancying_your_teacher
If you choose to ignore our advice and pursue this, please remember than NO teacher may have a relationship with a person under the age of 18 who is a pupil at ANY school.
The LAWS on this are very strict and if caught he will be sacked, prosecuted for abuse of trust and jailed for up to 5 years. They may also be put on the sex offenders register and be barred from going near children or teaching ever again.
http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2003/42/part/1/crossheading/abuse-of-position-of-trust
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/8266780.stm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-humber-11109762
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/8123374/Teacher-facing-jail-after-admitting-lesbian-affair-with-pupil.html
No matter how much you want this, it is NEVER going to happen.
My advice, is focus on your studies and get good grades in your exams.
Go to uni and then you can have as many men as you want. Thousands of them if you want. Leave the teachers alone.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2011): If your interpretation of the situation is correct, then he is being extremely inappropriate. You don't realise it now but you are just a child. And as your teacher, he has a duty of care to you. Please don't put yourself in any danger.
Also, keep in mind that you may be misreading the situation and in this case you could potentially damage his career by saying these things about him.
Focus on guys your own age :)
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (21 January 2011):
 Well. That's creepy.
I guess you will think that this is love. Nope. Not even close. You are young, surging with hormones and vulnerable to an older, wiser, influential male. This kind of attraction IS a normal female attraction. This is the kind of dating strategy in the wild that would land you with the leader of the pack. Problem is - you are a young girl, not an animal - so you need to always think with your heart AND your head. Don't get me wrong. Crushes are fine. Fantasies are fine. But crossing the boundaries and acting in any way on this is wrong. It's illegal. You are underage. It's inappropriate. Any student/teacher relationship is - is like an employee/boss relationship - you should never get involved in a relationship with someone who has power over you.
AND your teacher is ENTIRELY in the wrong. He knows it. This could get him fired; it could certainly affect his career and he is in danger of having charges pressed against him and rightfully so - you are underage. Don't act upon your creepy teachers not-so-subtle flirtations - "He tells me he is relaxed around me?" - he stares and talks directly to me - the guy is in serious danger of becoming a pedophile.
I would like you to mention this to your Mom if you are talking about boys in a conversation. She should be aware that you are crushing on your teacher and that HE is being a wee bit inappropriate.
And DO NOT discuss your feelings with this teacher. DO NOT be in a room alone with him or put yourself alone with him in any way. From what you have said - he has creeped me out.
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A
female
reader, sammi star +, writes (21 January 2011):
 Do not tell him how you're feeling! Chances are you've convinced yourself that you're seeing all the signs that he likes you when actually he's just being friendly.
If by a slim chance he did want something more then why would you want to be anywhere near a man like that? You are a minor and will certainly see when you're older that a grown man wanting anything more than a friendship with somebody your age is plain wrong.
Just enjoy it for the crush it is. You'll soon meet somebody more your own age and this teacher will be no more than a happy memory.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2011): noooo! walk away from the situation, concentrate on school and leaving school, go off and do what you want to do with your life. I know it may feel like every move and every word he says is directed at you but sometimes the mind can turn things that way. Plus when you look back in a few years your going to be horrified you said anything, so go off and do things your friends are doing and if he really is interested he will find you after you have left school. Just please dont say anything.
x
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (21 January 2011):
Most definitely do not tell him.
It's completely illegal, and you could get him fired. I know, because a girl I knew told her teacher and he took it further. He got fired and is now a sex offender, and she was expelled. Both lives, basically wrecked.
You're under 18, and even if you leave you were still a student and until 18 it's illegal for anything to happen.
So whilst I know you fancy him, and want to tell him, I'm afraid you can't because you'll cost him everything.
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