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Why cant one of the twins find a man yet the other has guys falling at her feet? They are basically the same person!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 January 2011) 9 Answers - (Newest, 25 January 2011)
A female United States age 36-40, *y81 writes:

Ok so last night we had a big discussion on this topic and we would like to get other opinions ... You can be honest we need answers !! Ok here we go .. We have a two good friend there twins .. Twin A is a nice girl very funny loves sports . She has a pretty face always does her make up nice and dresses cute .. Typical blonde big boobs ... BUT she's over weight she's 5'9 and i'm guessing 240 ( girl code you don't ask ) Ive tried to set her up and guys say no .. When we go out people don't approach her I feel bad we want to find her someone .. Now twin B is tall 5'8 dark hair skinny .. Funny a big flirt outgoing personally dresses same loves sports nice BUT she's not pretty ( not being mean love her to death ) .. Everywhere we go it's kinda funny to watch guys fall in love with her .. So now our discussion last night was why ? Whats going through a guys mind ? There basically the same person yet one can find anyone ...

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A female reader, birdynumnums Canada +, writes (25 January 2011):

birdynumnums agony auntI take it you have a twin sister?

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A female reader, DanceInTheDark Canada +, writes (24 January 2011):

DanceInTheDark agony auntTwin B is outgoing and Skinny. That's about it.

It's sad, but a lot of guys can be pretty shallow when it comes to weight.

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A female reader, angelDlite United Kingdom +, writes (24 January 2011):

angelDlite agony aunthi

they don't sound anything like the same person! they sound to me the total opposite of each other. i think the blonde finds it harder to get a man because she is overweight. shallow and sad - but true - i know this because i have had fluctuating weight for a number of years now and i find that i get LOTS more attention when i am slim - and i AM the same person, same face, same hair, same style of dressing. AND it is not that i am more confident when i am slim, i behave the same whatever my weight!

either that, or its because the dark haired twin is more flirty, most men love a flirt who makes them feel great about them selves and can make them laugh

xx

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (24 January 2011):

Take it from a man - they're not similar. There are differences between twins/siblings etc. The fact is, TWIN B sounds like she has a far more open personality just from what you've said. And that's all it really takes to be honest.

Also, one doesn't need to be set up, whereas the other does. Men notice that too. If we see a girl who is always being set-up, we won't be interested.

Whilst men can be shallow (thank you k_c 100!), often we're not. We do look further than just a woman's appearance to her personality. And TWIN B sounds like she's more open. That's why she gets the attention.

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A male reader, Odds United States +, writes (24 January 2011):

Odds agony auntYou are putting too much weight into personality here. Don't get me wrong, being sweet and fun is awesome, and is necessary to make the upgrade from "just dating" to "relationship."

But one is skinny, and one is 240 pounds (not really typical blonde). That's the answer right there. The number of obese girls is significantly greater than the number of fat-fetishist guys. Nothing shallow about it, it's just the way things are - and I'm sure the blonde one knows it.

Given today's numbers of overweight people, just being skinny puts the brunette in the top 50% for looks, before we even see her face.

I would also check with some straight guy friends (preferably ones who value honesty over feelings) as to how pretty their faces really are. Guys and girls disagree on those points sometimes.

If you want to help her meet guys, it would be much simpler to help her lose the weight. Go on a diet as friends, hit the gym as friends, and help her burn off the weight. This would also be much better for her health long-term.

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A female reader, Ry81 United States +, writes (24 January 2011):

Ry81 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Clearly there not exactly the same when you meet them they dont even look related. But personality wise they are similiar .

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (24 January 2011):

Honeypie agony auntI agree, they are NOT the same person.

I'm guessing one of them have guys falling all over for her because she is comfortable about herself and shows a lot of self confidence.

Seems to me you are trying to hook the blond twin up with ALL the wrong kind of guys, if they don't even want to talk to her.

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A female reader, k_c100 United Kingdom +, writes (24 January 2011):

k_c100 agony auntI cant understand why you think they are the same person?! They clearly are non-identical twins, therefore it is pretty much like asking "why can one sister get a man but the other sister cant?" The only difference between these 2 girls and normal siblings is that they were born at the same time - nothing else.

And you must admit, not being trying to be nasty here - anyone that is 240lbs is very overweight therefore of course she will be limiting the number of men who would be interested in her. Even if she likes sports, she obviously does not play them at all otherwise she would not be that size, so when a guy sees her he wont immediately think "oh she looks athletic, bet she likes sports and thats great because I like sports too".

Men are incredibly shallow, and a nice body + great personality will always win hands down compared to pretty face + overweight. There are loads of larger women with beautiful faces but at the end of the day it is simply not what men want. Men are genetically programmed to look for a 'mate' who will be the best option for childbearing (this has remained in the male mind through evolution) - and in order to fulfil this the woman needs to look healthy so she would be able to survive the stresses of childbirth and be a good mother. And being overweight - well you dont exactly look healthy now do you?

I am sounding a bit anti-fat here and that is not what I intended, I am a little overweight myself so I can hardly talk, but still I am only like 20lbs overweight. Big women can be beautiful and there is the odd man out there who appreciates their beauty, but 90% of the male population prefer a medium built/slim woman who is healthy and not overweight.

So I would be pretty certain that her weight is the biggest problem - there will be guys out there who would date her but they will be far harder to find. Whereas her twin, despite not having a pretty face, still has a great body and a great personality, so she is a good catch. You dont have to have the most stunning face, as long as the body is good and the personality shines through then men will be attracted to that. Plus she is funny and a flirt - nothing is more sexy to a man than a flirty girl who can make them laugh.

I hope this helps and good luck!

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A female reader, birdynumnums Canada +, writes (24 January 2011):

birdynumnums agony auntTHEY aren't the same person. They are tow separate individuals; and from the sounds of it, totally different. BUT - let's leave their looks out of it. Guys like any girl who is approachable, friendly and outgoing. THAT's why guys like her. It has nothing to do with looks and everything to do with her fun and flirty personality.

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