A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Dear forumI am coming to you for help as I there is no one else to turn to.I am 39 year old woman happily married for 13 years and a son.I love my husband dearly.My husband is the only man I have ever been with.The last couple of years my sex drive hat reached the sky. My husband can hardly keep up with me.When we do have sex it is amazing. Lately I have started chatting with married men hoping just the process of chatting will relieve some tension but now one of them is promising to have a secret guarantied affair and is handsome and being so nice and a gentleman to me that I am scared I will do smth I will regret.I have told my husband but thinks I am incapable of sleeping with another man.Oh my God what should I do??Thank you anyone for taking you time to shed some light in this situation.
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affair, sex drive Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, JippySad  +, writes (3 December 2010):
 Hello,
maybe your husband can learn some tantric techniques to keep from ejaculating. Thereby his fittness will remain and he will have more stamina to follow in your desires.
Also, maybe you can learn to take your energy to other areas - NOT other man - like creativity, massage, dance, ...
BIODANZA seems to be a good way also, to convert liveenergy otherwise lost in sexuality alone.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, No watered down advice here! +, writes (2 December 2010):
 You're so..very welcome!!! My daughter is getting married Sept.12 2011. She's a virgin and so is her future husband! Both are 20. I showed them this post, and they were SO..happy to see this. Because it showed them, they can't take for granted they will both be each others first. They both felt your husband,was being cocky in the fact you never had another man. They agreed, they would NEVER do that. This post made ME an very happy mother that MOMENT when I asked them what did THEY get out of this. THANK YOU!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for taking your time to comment on my situation.I already feel stronger and know what I should do.No hesitation. I ended every communication. I received some nasty message in response but this only made it easier for me.
Thank you everyone again
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A
female
reader, CheatedandLiedto  +, writes (2 December 2010):
Nothing good comes out of cheating. Stop and think about what you are doing and work out whether sexual gratification is worth losing everything that is good in your life and causing a lot of pain to the people you love. Your husband and your son will not be able to forgive you if you go down this path.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2010): Children almost never forgive their parents who cheat. Imagine the child's pain at knowing their mother cheated on their father. Imagine him watching you two fight when he finds out you were with another man. Imagine him watching his father leave because his father wasn't man enough to satisfy his mother and she got another man who was "better" in bed, "bigger", "sexier", etc. Imagine your son thinking all those things when he has a relationship.
That's what happens.
You are cheating emotionally now, and physically is being offered. If you want to cause a lot of pain, go ahead and do it, and you will see and have a lot of pain in scads.
"Secret" affairs do sometimes end up that way...but they hurt all the same.
You will have guilt, by the truckload, even if you don't get caught. That alone can ruin your marriage and family life. If you get caught, if you do have an affair, even a one night stand, (and there is a lot of chance of getting caught in ways you can't even imagine) get caught then you will have shame by the truckload on top of it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2010): Are you taking any medication?
Seriously, this can happen with medications.
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A
female
reader, No watered down advice here! +, writes (1 December 2010):
STOP the chatting NOW!!! And.. YES!!! Your husband thinks that you won't cheap because you have a clean track record! KEEP IT CLEAN! Keep his trust! Those sites are full of perverts HOPING and "PREYING" on women like you! DON'T don't it! It's so..special to hear he's the only man you ever had! WOW! Tears!
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A
male
reader, lightshadow +, writes (1 December 2010):
If its one thing I hate on this world is cheaters you have been HAPPILY married (not that many people can that) for 13 years do you really want to throw that out the window plus think about your child if u have an affair your child can be hanging in the blance of your failure to keep you legs closed jus talk to your husband about more sex and if that doesn't work out get a vibrator but what ever you do DON'T CHEAT I want you to say it to cause you wouldent like it of you was in your partners shoes
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (1 December 2010):
 Buy yourself a vibrator and knock off this nonsense.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (1 December 2010):
NO DAMNED AFFAIRS! - They make you look bad, and they destroy everything in their path. I don't know any affair that has brought happiness. So, quit chatting to those other guys and get back to your husband. Remember, your 13 year old son won't appreciate you having betrayed his father, and any bad tempered married women will make your life hell. You'll just ruin your life.
As for this, you just need to make sure you have as much good quality sex with your husband, or buy a vibrator or something.
Just for God's sake don't blow your marriage and family away for the sex of sex with another married man, or you'll be saying goodbye to your husband and son.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2010): Its probably hormonal, so I wouldn't go throwing away a perfectly good marriage over your vagina. Wait it out and it will eventually pass, however if you act hastily you'll wind up destroying your life. Being horny is fine, just keep it home. If you act and have sex with another woman's husband, you may live to regret it more than you can ever imagine.Some things are better left alone.
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