A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating this guy for a couple of months. I am in love with him, I can picture having a life and future with this guy. But a part of him is still not over his ex. She was kinda his girl that got away. I told him if the main reason as to why he's not with her is that she doesn't want to be with him, then a part of him will always hope for her back. Plus it makes me feel like crap cause although he loves me , I feel like if she ever comes back he will not be able to make a choice.He admits if she ever came back he would be really pissed then really confused. I don't want that in a relationship, I want something clear. So what do I do? He already knows I have these concerns but I don't really have a solution for him. Should I just move out and leave him?
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female
reader, Adorskable  +, writes (1 December 2010):
 You deserve to be with someone who will truly love you and only you. Don't settle for second best leave now and rebuild your future with someone that is not stuck in the past.
A
female
reader, FloridaCatGirl +, writes (1 December 2010):
 As CaringGuy said, you can't have a relationship with this man if his heart is elsewhere. He needs to deal with his feelings for his ex first... And this should have been done before he started relationship with you.
How many months have you been dating him and when did you move in with him? I think it might be best to give him some time alone to work out his feelings. Would you be able to stay with a friend for a few weeks? I know this won't be easy to do with the holidays coming up, so this may not be an option right now.
Is he still in contact with his ex? If so, he needs to cut all ties with her. If he isn't willing to do that, then it means he is hanging on to the hope that she will come back to him. How can your relationship grow if you are not number one in his life? This is not fair to you.
Please let us know what happens. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (1 December 2010):
 Why did they break up? Did she break up with him? (i'm assuming yes).
He sounds like a lost cause for right now and I do think you should leave. It sounds like you are the rebound right now if he even told you that he would have a hard time picking between the two of you. If my bf said that, I'd be gone.
Don't wait around for the guy who likes you, find the one who loves you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2010): LEave now. Trust me. I have been there and you Do not want to be with a man who is still with his ex. You will always be second best and no one desrves that. Just be thankful that you have only been with him for two months.
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A
female
reader, vronie2010 +, writes (1 December 2010):
 You should move on before it gets any more complicated...in my opinion if his heart is still with his ex then he definately is not done with her....dont look back n think what if either you are setting ur self up for a really bad heartbreak.....he needs to find his self first
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (1 December 2010):
If he's not totally over his ex, you're already setting yourself up for pain. You can't have a relationship with someone, if their heart is elsewhere. Because in twenty years time, she might come back and he might leave you. That's happened quite a bid lately. I think if he's still in love with her, you should probably just move on.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (1 December 2010):
 You answered your question. "I want something clear."
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