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Should I get my ex a Christmas and a birthday gift?

Tagged as: The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 November 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 29 November 2010)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I was just wanting an opinion about getting an ex girlfriend a present for her birthday and gift for Christmas (her b-day is early in the month and then I was just thinking getting her something small for Christmas).

She has a boyfriend and I am currently single. I think it might be out of line, because I knew when I dated her and she got gifts form other guy's I grew very jealous of them doing that and made sure that the gift was not suggestive in anyway or for. But I want to get her at least a Christmas or birthday gift.

View related questions: christmas, ex girlfriend, has a boyfriend, jealous, my ex

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A female reader, kirra07 Canada +, writes (29 November 2010):

Like the other people said, it would be a bad idea. Are you even still friends? Have you met her boyfriend? Do you get along with him? I would say that if you are still friends and you get to know the boyfriend, it might later on become okay to get a very neutral non-suggestive gift.

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (29 November 2010):

tennisstar88 agony auntBad idea. You didn't like it when guys sent her gifts when you were with her, so it would be hypocritical for you to do that. I suggest you skip her on your Christmas list, and spend the extra money on a gift for yourself. Also, it couldn't hurt to shop for a new girlfriend.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (29 November 2010):

You shouldn't get your ex anything. She's an ex who now has a boyfriend. That's all there is to it, and to give her a gift would be to do that same as happened to you. Also, it might make you look desperate or something.

Don't send her anything. You are over, and it needs to stay that way, or things will get too complicated and you'll wind up looking bad.

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A male reader, Welsh Uncle Dave United Kingdom +, writes (29 November 2010):

You have to put yourself in her boyfriend's shoes and you've said for yourself that you were jealous when you were i a relationship with her.

I personally find it a bit odd buying presents for ex's, particularly if they are in a new relationship and can sometimes lead to arguments.

You don't say how long you were together, but obviously you like her enough to want to buy her birthday & Xmas presents.

I would speak to her to see what her thoughts are on it. Ok it takes away the surprise element, but you might get a better idea of where you stand.

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