A
female
age
30-35,
*inkSnowWolf
writes:Me and my boyfriend have been together for nearly 3 years now. Which is quite a long time for both me and him - I've never had a relationship last this long before. I love him with all my heart. I'd lay my life on the line for him. The problem begins with him. I know I sound harsh, but it's the truth. During our whole relationship, I've been the one that has remained faithful. Yes, he's cheated and or flirted with other girls before. When I found out he cheated on me, he swore up and down he'd never do it again. I believed him, and gave him a second chance. I told him, "If you screw up ONE more time, I'm leaving you. Period." So he pretty much gets the point. The main problem in our relationship is him not spending enough time with me. I know it sounds selfish on my part, but hear me out. We talk on the phone for 2-3 hours each day - that's it. We spend no other time with each other. I feel so empty and lonely, waiting for him to call each night at 9. (Which he does.) Lately, he's been getting a lot more text messages, supposedly from his friends. (He even reads some of them to me.) But, the thing is, his friends NEVER texted him this much until now. Do you see what I'm implying? Something seems a little fishy here.Plus, our sex-life isn't what it used to be. We used to have sex every few days... but now, it seems like once a week - if I'm lucky. I honestly could live without sex, but, a guy at his age not wanting sex is pretty off... The real problem is that I confronted him about it tonight, and spilled all of my feelings - and I said it over MSN. I signed out for like, 5 minutes - then signed back on and he signed out. He didn't even read all of what I had to say, because I wrote hell of a lot! But... he hasn't called back or anything. It's just so unlike him... Do you think he thinks that I've caught him or something? I really don't want to lose him, because honestly, I don't see myself with anyone else... Please, anyone reading this, help me... I am so lost. It's currently 3 AM, and I have school tomorrow and... I just can't seem to get any rest at all. My mind is filled to the brim with things. Thanks for any advice~
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (1 December 2010):
Well, he cheated once before, so there is that chance he's doing it. And his behaviour suggests that something is wrong. But, even if he's not, just look at this relationship of yours. You feel lonely, he's not in contact that much, he doesn't seem to be interested in you that much, you're doing all the work, you've said he pretty much doesn't listen.
That's not really a relationship at all. That's just you doing everything and him coming for sex once a week.
You say you don't want to lose him, and I get that. But really, what are you losing if you dump him? You're losing a guy who cheated, and might be cheating again, and a guy who doesn't seem to be interested in you at all.
Sometimes you've got to know when to quit, or you'll spend your life running around after something that is ultimately pointless. This guy is a failure as a boyfriend, and to be honest, whether he's cheating again or not, I think you can do a lot better.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2010): give your self time and see how things develop, if he is cheating or not will come out anyway. Looks like you are getting insecure about your relationship and there are reasons that he has let you feel insecure.
when in a relationship always have good friends around you talk with you, guide you and advice you and dont keep all your dependance on one person.
Tomorrow is another day, i sure hope there is sunlight for you..
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