A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:this is gonna sound mental but here goes...my bf of 6 months is a swinger now thats cool with me cause im a swinger too though he didnt know that at the time, i dont know why i didnt tell him straight i sought of hinted to him that i was bad girl and did some pretty outrages stuff and he was cool with it..i recently told hìm right out that i was a swinger and he went mental, he said that he was not willing to share me with anyone and then he said that the only way we could do it was if we went together..when i asked him why he was allowed to and not me he said that it was more of a mans game and that he hated the idea of me being with other pple.now we have a good relationship we understand each other and everything now im not saying we dont fight we do fight and we broke up with each other 3 times and it didnt work out we both got back together we just couldnt be without each other.now to my question is this normal? is this a normal reaction from a guy? is what he is asking within reason? i dont know because ive never been in a relationship before and is it normal for us to fight like that and then get back together? feel like we cant be away from each other even for a minute?tnx lol
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2010): A guy who dumpes you frequently is not worth holding on to,i found this out the hard way he dumped me for the last time 6 weeks ago i could never be with him again as i dont like him although i do love him move on from this control freak
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (29 November 2010):
The word 'HYPOCRITE' comes to mind here.
This is the normal reaction of any arrogant, uncaring and controlling man. It's not the normal reaction of a decent man.
What he is asking, is that you give up all your fun, for him, even though he will not give up any of his fun. This is the sort of man you should just run away from, because he will be having sex with all those other women, possible bringing home some disease, while you will be sat at home wearing what he tells you to wear, and doing what he tells you to do.
You'll learn more as you grow older and have more experiences. You're learning something here - some men are hypocrites, and need to be avoided. This guy needs to be avoided.
Oh, and the other point is that a committed couple don't break up three times as well. That's another sign that this won't work out between you. Don't settle for less that a good guy.
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A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave +, writes (29 November 2010):
Sounds like he wants you and benefits - ie he went mad because he doesn't want you sleeping with anyone as he wants you to himself, but he wants to be free to sleep with who he wants.
He has sort of met you half way by saying you can do it if you go together. But while he hates the thought of you being with other men, what are your thoughts on him with other women? are you comfortable with it? Do you think it's fair?
in terms of fighting and breaking up, then getting back together, couples often do this.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2010): It's not fair but it's normal.
I think the main problem is that he didn't originally know you were a swinger type. He believed he had chosen a girl who was not into that lifestyle.
What men (and women) want in a fuck buddy and what they want in a serious relationship partner are not always the same things at all. He was trying to have it both ways, getting to be a swinger himself while keeping a GF who was committed to him. It's not a fair demand for him to make of you but it's probably what he wanted.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2010): its completely normal to fight and get back together. i've done it a number of times. almost every relationship is not perfect. but i dont think its okay for him to do what he's doing. if he doesnt want you shared, you shouldnt want him shared. its not right. i think you should both stop if you really want a serious relationship.
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