A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Is it unreasonable of me to ask my boyfriend to invite me to mixed parties that my boyfriend's ex is at?He excludes me from 90% of them because he says he wants to be able to hang out with them alone. But they go partying, and drinking and everyone else brings their boyfriends/girlfriends....?
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female
reader, metalheadmom +, writes (9 December 2010):
 He shouldn't want to go without you. Sure everyone needs alone time, but purposely excluding you when he parties with this particular group, tells me there is a reason why he does not want you there. You need him to tell you why he has to be alone with them. If my husband told me he has to go party without me, we would have some serious problems.
No, you should not be happy with going 10% of the time. He should ask you to go and let you make that decision.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (9 December 2010):
I think when you're getting to the stage when you have to effectively order that your boyfriend takes you to parties and such, then really your relationship is in trouble. He might want to go alone, but if others are bringing their girlfriends, and your boyfriend's ex is there, then you have to ask yourself what's going on.
You could try to 'invite' yourself, by saying that others bring their girlfriends. But I think if he says no, you need to look carefully at your relationship and decide whether he's worth your time.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (9 December 2010):
 Why would you want to invite yourself, or make him invite you when you know he doesn't want you to come along? So you're excluded from 90% of them, you still get to go to 10% , that's better than nothing. What is your real reason for wanting to go, to keep an eye on his ex?
You could bring up how you would like to go and that you feel excluded from the events even when everyone else is bringing their boyfriend/girlfriend. See what he says, if he doesn't change his mind then you're going to have to let this issue go. He's going to do what he wants..and if you trust him, let it go.
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