A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hey I'm looking for some thoughts on my situation.I've taken a liking for a woman I met 2 months ago. The thing is I've since found she has a history of messing with married men and married women. She's also a compulsive lier but I'm still attracted to her. She's expressed an interest in an us being exclusive.I find myself at a cross road. Part of me wants to give but a larger part of me holds back. I can't but see her as an unfit woman for marriage. Then I always doubt what she says since she doesn't fess up about a lying. She's broken up a couple marriages as well.I want to know is she the type of woman who I should invest energy in or should I just go with logic and be patient until I meet a respectable woman? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2011): I think it may be worth your while asking yourself why you are attracted to the danger that this woman seems to represent; is it that she sets up a challenge for you in the sense that you want to "conquer" her where no-one has before (maybe even by "curing" her) or could it be that your own self-worth is low, so you feel you have to really earn the right to be worthy of someone's love? To be attracted to someone who is bisexual is no crime, and sometimes - but usually exceptionally - a person can wrongly be given a bad reputation. However, it is not your responsibility to find out the 'real truth' about the person, especially if this is a way of convincing yourself that you may have something special with her. If the woman is truly a marriage wrecker, then she will be highly skilled as a manipulator - I don't say this to moralise, just to be logical. This will mean that she is capable of manipulating you and possibly this is what is already happening. It sounds as though the woman needs professional help with counselling or such like; could be she needs the "hit" of hooking an unavailable person, whether they are unavailable due to marriage or just because of their personal character. Consider whether you fall into the latter category for her. There are many, many other women in the world who need a good man, don't deprive them!
A
male
reader, doublejack +, writes (9 December 2010):
Speaking from experience, have your fun with this one but DO NOT get into a serious relationship with her. If you find a woman to be unsuitable because of her shady past, believe me when I say that she is not going to change. I've been there and been burned.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2010): Think with your upper head and keep your lower head away from this woman. She's lies in the upper 99 percentile STD risk chart.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2010): A cheater is a cheater is a cheater and what you have stated point to she's a cheater. Once a cheater always a cheater. Do you want a cheater? Cheaters are like alcholics. An alcholic can turn clean and sober but is prone to relapse. An alcholic with a long history is more likely to relapse than an alcholic young. The same goes for the cheater. You say the woman has a history of messing with both married men and married women and even breaking up marriages, well bud she's a highly probable relapse candidate. You're pretty much a man who leans to logic, ok, so ponder the liklihood that the woman will have an affair(s) on you when she's not just enticed by men but women as well. This twofolds the odds. Plus given that her history leans to involvement with married men and married women what is so different now to cause a change in what floats her boat so to speak? You appear a straight laced fellow so ask yourself what excitement and risk can you offer the woman to keep her in line? Would you be able to stomach the task of child care provider every time the woman's out of your arm's reach? I see your age so I'm assuming the woman is around your age, which infers she's molded in her ways. I'm sorry to tell you Bud but from the outside looking in and being witness to others who took the risk on a repeat cheater, I've yet to see a happy ending, only irrepairable damage and loss. If I were you, I'd use my pass card or she's going to take you to the bottom of the barrel laughing at how she made you her previous dunce bag. Good luck dude.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2010): I made the mistake of sticking with an unfit woman. Wasted a lot of my life with her, but now I have someone new and she is the best thing that happened to me.
Wait and find a nice woman, and in the the mean time build your life up, so you're a good catch yourself.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (9 December 2010):
Compulsive liar...messing around with married men and woman...broken up a few marriages.
I think this woman is a liability. You stand a very large chance of getting hurt because of all this. And if you think that she's unfit for marriage now, then it's probably best for you to just move on. Listen to that logic of yours.
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