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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hi Im 21 years old and i have been with my boyfreind for 4 years and recently he wont use condoms he says that they are gross they smell and that he cant feel anything when they are on and he gets turned off. it make me upset that he doesnt want to use them and at this time i dont want to get pregnant but he says i wont if he "pulls out", so then i have to... sometimes when i do put my foot down and say no he starts a fight and says i love you but im a guy and if you dont want to then i have to find it somewheres else what do i do to that! ive been with him since i was 17 hes my first...and i love him i even moved to another province with him away from everyone i know i dont know what to do please if someone knows or has been through the same thing please help thanks!!!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2010): boot him to the curb... no glove, no love... he needs to respect you and not try CRAP like that...
A
female
reader, charliesdevil73  +, writes (9 December 2010):
 He's a jerk. Sorry, but I had to say it. He should never tell you that if you want to use condoms and won't give it up without them, he has to get it somewhere else. To me, that says he is willing to go and get it somewhere else and you don't want that type of guy. No one should ever threaten to cheat or leave someone because of an issue like this.
But, I would talk to him and see if maybe he opened his mouth before he thought. He might just really want to have sex without condoms and will try every way he knows how to get you to agree. I don't like condoms myself, that's why I chose the pill. Maybe, after talking to him, look into the pill. You will have to wait a couple of months for it to be fully effective, but then you can go without condoms and worry of pregnancy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2010): You deserve much better than this guy. He's an idiot if he thinks you won't work that out. Hope it works out for you x
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A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (8 December 2010):
 You don't have to do anything you don't want to....
Men (as you will find out) will make all kinds of threats. You can please the man or you can please yourself.
You risk getting pregnant, your risk getting a sexual disease.
Millions of women all over the world find themselves contracting aids, or bringing up children alone because they wanted to please some man.
Put yourself first... he likes and needs sex more than you do.
PS: A man who threatens is a bully... what next, he threatens to leave unless you give him a foursome with your sister and your best friend? He turns you into a hooker and you agree to have sex with his friends to keep him? If a man tries to threaten you, then tell him to piss off, or he'll keep threatening you and you will always do what he wants... Grow some balls and don't be any man's play thing or you will regret it big time and for many years. RESPECT YOURSELF AND STAND UP FOR YOUR MORALS AND VALUES.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (8 December 2010):
This guy is so full of crap, it's beyond me. "If you make me use condoms, I'll dump you and go elsewhere" is basically what's being said.
There's so much wrong here that it could almost be the world's worst joke. Except it's not!
1 - He clearly doesn't love you or care for you. At all. The relationship you have is about sex for him, and that's it. He doesn't care about how you feel at all, and when you put your foot down, he just acts like a toddler. He doesn't love you. He just wants the sex.
2 - He has no care for your sexual health, or the fact that you might wind up pregnant. And what if you do get pregnant? Do you think a guy who threatens to leave you just because you force him to use a condom will stay around if you get pregnant?
3 - And he's stupid. The pull out method isn't reliable.
No matter how much you love him, you are truly setting yourself up for failure. Lives are ruined by this kind of stupidity, and it won't be him looking after a baby, giving up careers and such. It will be you.
You can do better than a guy like this. This isn't love - this is just about him getting his rocks off.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (8 December 2010):
 That's what's called emotional blackmail. It's very bad.
If he wants to get it somewhere else, let him. Dump his sorry ass. He speaks to you with no respect.
For the record, the "pull out" method is about as good at stopping pregnancy as letting him finish inside without any protection.
You don't have to do anything you're uncomfortable with. Don't let him make you feel like what you want is not important. Why is he more important than you? Do you want a baby? Is he ready to be a father? If not, no glove, no love!
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (8 December 2010):
Ok - tell him thats fine providing the following -
The lastest figures on the cost of raising a child to age 18 is $222,360. The cost as an OOS student for four years at a public college is $74,192 (and rising fast.) That means if you have a child, he will need a minimum of $296,552 CURRENTLY invested in vehicles that at least keep pace with COLA, health care, and education costs.
Lets see if him trying to come up with that money is more "gross" or "turns him off" more than wearing a condom.....
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 December 2010):
 You could get on the pill.
But in the meantime, keep putting your foot down.
Dirty diapers smell even worse.
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