A
female
age
36-40,
*ivelaughlove23
writes:My boyfriend was robbed for several hundred dollars, right before Christmas. He has a 6 yr old we've been together for 3 1/2 yrs. The past year has been rocky because he cheated on me and I'm stiiill trying to regain all the trust. He says because he was robbed, I should go into bank investments that my family has for me and take out a bond, cash it, and it give all to him AND if I didn't do that then I should spend the majority of my money and go shopping for his daughter (remind you HIS OWN FAMILY has not helped him yet, since he's been robbed they just tell him how sorry they are to hear about that happening). He says, "A real g/f would help me out the best she knew how and go to the bank and cash her bonds and give it all to me and be like 'here baby, i know you need this for your daughter'"Remimd you...I do not have children of my own. I have my own bills that need to be paid. What should I do! Please help me....
View related questions:
cheated on me, christmas, money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (13 December 2010):
On the one hand I commend you for having so much trust in him. On the other I hope you're not being conned here. If you ever catch that little voice in the back of your head saying that something's not right, listen to it. Your gut tends to be spot on with these things. So keep your eyes open and do not throw all your money at him.
A
female
reader, livelaughlove23 +, writes (12 December 2010):
livelaughlove23 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all of the help everyone. I really do appreciate it. But to answer the questions....there's nothing more to this story. I didn't leave a thing out. He does have a job and can earn the money back. He does not have a checking account due to financil difficulty (explains why he had all of his paycheck money on him. Thanks again everyone, for the input....God bless
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010): Do not give him anything. He cheated on you so how dare he ask for anything!! Wow that guy has cheek!
...............................
A
female
reader, Nonamus +, writes (12 December 2010):
Do not, I repeat, do not give this man anything. I had an ex like this. He was a true scammer. This sounds just like one of his stories. Your bf's family won't help him because they know what he is. Dump him.
...............................
A
female
reader, Geester  +, writes (12 December 2010):
 I think u did the right thing hun u dont iive 2getha nor do u share a child hes using emotional blackmail 2 get wot he wants if it was a loan then fair enuf u got ya own future 2 think of 2 stay strong
...............................
A
female
reader, MsVick +, writes (12 December 2010):
 RUN away! Far away from this one. He is trying to guilt you into giving him all your money and for what? something that may not have even happened.
Tell him to go to the bank, they are in the habit of giving out loans to people and wish him good luck.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (12 December 2010):
You know how easy it is to fake a robbery? Really easy. And that's what he's done here. Get away from him.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010): I say you give him all your money, then you sell everything you own and you give half to him and half to the girl he cheated on you with.
Then you go to your parents and other family members houses, steal and sell everything they have and give it the mother of his child seeing as he can't even pay for his own child.
That's what a real girlfriend would do, don't you think?
Okay jokes over, you know next time he brings up that "real girlfriend" shit. Ask him what a "real father" would do. Would they pay for their own kid? or would they mooch off the next sucker that just so happens to date them? Ask him if a "real boyfriend" cheats? If a "real man" works to provide for his family and pay his own way in the world? If "real man" needs to resort to emotional blackmail? Ask him why a "real son's" own family won't give him money, why is that I wonder? hmmm, could it be they won't give anymore money to this deadbeat? Could it be they've heard the robbery excuse before? Or could it be he's drained them of all their resources already? Or he's done this so many times they're not falling for it again?
This guy is a "real keeper" you're in for a great xmas and life with this leech in your life. A "real good" life.
...............................
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (12 December 2010):
Pardon me for playing the devil's advocate, but could the fact he was "messed up" about it have more to do with the money being gone than the robbery itself? Sometimes people do stupid things, like gambling and losing loads of money overnight. I mean, I cannot come up with a good reason why he shouldn't report it, other than that there must be more to this than he said.
Anyway, I'm not trying to but your bf in a bad light, but from what I'm reading something just doesn't add up.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010): Oh please DO NOT give him the money. How dare he even ask? Yes he was robbed and that is sad but he has no right demanding that you cash in your bonds and for his dauighter too? she is not your child so he should not be guilty tripping you like that
...............................
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (12 December 2010):
 Oh dear... is there more to this story?
...............................
A
female
reader, livelaughlove23 +, writes (12 December 2010):
livelaughlove23 is verified as being by the original poster of the question@ CindyCares.. You have been such a great help. Thanks so much. And no he did not report the robbery. He was really robbed though. He has been a mess since it happened, which was a couple nights ago. Especially with Xmas around the corner, it's a very stressful time for him and be both.
...............................
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (12 December 2010):
 RUN AWAY from this guy! Seriously, if you let him pull this on you, no telling what he'll try next. Take a lesson from his family - you are not his bank. He is your BOYFRIEND. Not your fiance, not your husband, not your family.
Does he not have a job? Will he not earn more money? Does he have a car? Can he not sell something he owns on Craigslist for the coin he needs?
I too question how he was "robbed". Doesn't he have a bank account where he puts the majority of his money in? Why is he running around with tons of cash with that being ALL of his money? How is his credit rating?
This should really open your eyes about the type of guy you're with. He doesn't stand on his own two feet. He wants others to bail him out and believes it's his right to expect that. A "real girlfriend"? That's crap.
I hope you seriously consider a major change, because this guy is really bad news. Anyone who demands a great deal of money for you and uses that kind of manipulation needs to be ejected from your life, or else you're going to bleed all of your money and resources into him, only to have him cheat on you AGAIN and leave you high and dry.
A REAL boyfriend doesn't cheat and doesn't try and extort money from his girlfriend.
I'm worried though. You've been with him for 3 1/2 years. You took him back after he cheated. You've put up with too much of his crap already. I'm afraid that you're going to give him this money and stay with him. I'm afraid that this is only the beginning, and that you won't learn this lesson before it's too late.
Do you have the guts to see him for what he truly is and leave him?
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (12 December 2010):
 WHAAAT ?
Tell him that if this is what a real gf does, then you prefer to be a fake one.
We are talking about the underemployed bf who want you to move in with him so that he can have free use your car ,right ?....
P.S: : how do you know he was robbed ? Did he go to the police to report the robbery ?.....
...............................
A
male
reader, Jmtmj +, writes (12 December 2010):
He says, "A real g/f would help me out the best she knew how and go to the bank and cash her bonds and give it all to me and be like 'here baby, i know you need this for your daughter'"
That's emotional manipulation... don't buy into it.
It's not your responsibility, nor should you feel obligated to give him YOUR money... especially after a f*****d up line like that.
...............................
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (12 December 2010):
He sounds like a leecher to me. I had someone in my life like that once. Used to be my best friend. Note how I say "used to be". T
He cannot in his right mind think that just because he was stupid enough to keep a load of cash in his wallet and got robbed, that you should pay for this unfortunate turn of events. That would be like saying "I crashed my car but because it's not my fault I want you to buy me a new one." That's a load of crap!
So stand up to him, as hard as it may be. Because for one, I am pretty skeptical of what his story. Tell him that if he wasn't that careless he would still have his money. Tell him you're happy to help him manage his money better (because noone leans on their last couple of hundreds to make it through the winter, not if you know what you're doing) but that you have your own expenses to pay for. If he thinks that real love is shown through money, get outta there!
...............................
A
female
reader, SillyB +, writes (12 December 2010):
 Sounds like you're a doormat, simply by you asking this question, you at least know that something is off. Listen to your gut.
You shouldn't be with him in the first place, he cheated on you IN ADDITION to being very manipulative and selfish.
You won't have a happy life with this one. You know what to do.
Good luck
...............................
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (12 December 2010):
 I am not sure if I could believe his story. What kind of young guy just walk out the door with thousands dollars of cash? Did he spend carelessly online using his credit card? Ask him for more details. Who was the guy who mugged him? What does he look like? Where did that take place? Did he call the police? Did he call the bank to stop the transaction immediately?
A guy who had been truly robbed would he thankful he's still alive for his girlfriend and his daughter, would work hard to strive for a safe environment for you and his daughter to live in, and not demand you to cash in for the loss. He has not been a real boyfriend to you. You don't have to do anything. I think there are holes in his story. A real girlfriend does not let a guy to use her.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010): He's manipulating you BIG TIME... no one should EVER use the old "if you loved me"... that's WRONG.
You need to take a hard look at your man, and decide if this pattern of behavior is limited to this one incident, or if he has other manipulative patterns. If he does you need to seriously evaluate your decision to be in a "relationship" with someone like this... relationships do no have manipulation involved.
Right off the bat, I have to wonder did he really get robbed? Did someone put a weapon to his face and say "give me your money"... did he file a police report?
Does his family know enough about him NOT to give him money?
Sounds like you need to catch up with them...
...............................
|
