A
male
age
41-50,
*ulldog77
writes:Dear Cupid, how is everyone doing. I am a happily married man with a sitaution. My wife has admitted to me that she had an affair with a younger man and said that she was falling in love with him. But the whole time, she said that she never fell out of love with me and admitted that it was a huge mistake. She said that she imagined a future with him but admitted that he could not do anything for her or our four children, that I was her "true love". But she still have feelings for the other man. Am I wrong for saying that she cannot have feelings for a "friend" and is suppose to be working on fixing our marriage or am I just being jealous?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2010): She's confused. But you deserve a wife who's not. If she has feelings for someone she cant have her mind focused on you and your marriage. But at least she's being honest about them.. with that said it sounds like its over.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2010): She just admitted this to you.
Neither of you have the whole story until you've been in counseling for a prolonged period of time.
If you want to save the marriage, put a lot of hard work into understanding the issues that she has, you have, and work with a counselor.
Ignore all the advice to ditch the marriage unless that is all you want to do.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (9 December 2010):
 Your wife is trying to have her cake and eat it too. You're her true love but she's falling in love with someone else eh? Has she tried to sell you the Brooklyn Bridge too?
I'm sorry, but your marriage is over.
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (9 December 2010):
 She betrayed your trust and your marriage. No, you're not just being jealous... you have every right to. She committed to you when she agreed to marry you, and she broke that commitment. The next move is hers. She has to make a decision. She either has to RE-commit to you and spend the rest of her life trying to earn back your trust, or she doesn't...ending your marriage.
There is no reason you need to put up with her being "wishy-washy". That is not fair to you. You did nothing wrong. My suggestion is to make her choose. Him, or you and your children. She doesn't get both.
I know that may sound cold of me to say, but there's no other way to do it. She completely broke her commitment to you.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (9 December 2010):
To be honest, I wouldn't take this marriage any further. I don't see how it can work at all. She's said, that basically she would ditch you if he had more money. So you're basically an ATM machine to her. I don't think your wife is worth your time at all.
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A
female
reader, loveistheanswer +, writes (9 December 2010):
 Let me get this straight... she cheated on you with another man, and you're asking yourself if YOU are "wrong"? If I was in your place I would have filed for divorce the second she told me she cheated. I don't understand people who, upon finding out that their significant other cheated still want to see if they can "work things out". Infidelity is infidelity, it is not meant to be worked out, it is the ultimate act of disrespect and lack of love that you could do to your partner. It is unforgivable. It is the ultimate grounds for divorce.
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