A
female
age
36-40,
*kn
writes:theres a guy that has been in a relationship with a girl for 8years that i fell for and i fell hard but ive known him for a long time well i cheated on my boyfriend with him and hes making it all my fault why is he making it to be all my fault?
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2010): Cheating just ends up with a bad result for everyone... there are usually two parties involved and both are to blame. I do think sometimes one can be more persistent and persuades another to cheat where they might not have.
It's still ultimately their decision to do it, no one is forced to cheat in normal circumstances.
Just accept your blame, forget about him and concentrate on your relationship and why you chose to cheat. Try to repair that or move on.
A
female
reader, natasia  +, writes (9 December 2010):
 Well, you both cheated, so you are both bad.
There is this convenient myth that is quite often used by cheating men (and their partners), that he was 'lured' away by a ruthless, immoral temptress (ie, you). This is convenient because it kind of exonerates him of blame, as it wasn't his decision - he was manipulated. Obviously a load of cr*p, because he is an adult as well, and knew exactly what he was doing, and made the decision to do it. His relationship is his responsibility, not yours. OK, maybe he wishes you had put the brakes on rather than going with it, but he can't say it's your fault.
It is both your faults.
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A
female
reader, Mjfbla +, writes (9 December 2010):
 Because he doesnt want to take blame. You cheated on YOUR boyfriend. He just helped. You are mainly responsible. WHile he is too, he wont accept that. It goes to show his tru feelings for you
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (9 December 2010):
 Nobody wants to take the blame when they do something wrong. Just like you don't want to be solely responsible for your cheating, he doesn't want to be responsible for his either.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (9 December 2010):
Because you were the one who cheated, and whilst it may not be all your fault, you've now done something that has made everything worse, and shown the lowest amount of love and respect you possibly can.
This is exactly why no one should cheat. The moment you cross that barrier, everyone gets to say it's your fault. It now doesn't matter what he's done, you're the one who broken the the final bit of trust that was there. You could have talked, you could have ended it. But you didn't. You cheated, and you now have to accept responsibility for the fact that those around you, including him, will blame you.
Since there is clearly no communication, love or respect between you two anymore, the best thing to do is just end it and move on. And never cheat again. The price of cheating, is that you take the blame whether you're wrong or not.
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