A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Would you allow your boyfriend to curse at you and call you a bitch during an argument? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, LiveAnnLearn  +, writes (11 September 2010):
 I wouldn't mind him generally cursing but calling ME a bitch? No way, I mean he could but it would only cause a pointlessly long argument where we'd keep yelling and throwing names at each other, being that insults don't solve anything and can only lead to an unhealthy relationship I'd say you definitely shouldn't let him do it.
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (9 September 2010):
 He wouldn't dare, not unless he wants to see the sunrise next morning. He can call me a bitch to describe me, that's factual. But if he wants to curse, my mouth is dirty and I get violent when disrespected.
Easy.. I'm a lady, so men don't curse if they want to live long and healthy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2010): Me and my boyfriend both curse in arguments.. Not AT eachother, just in general. That is just because we curse more when we are upset... But he never calls me names, and vice versa.
I do not GENERALLY think it is acceptable. If you, on the other hand, are flying off the handle or did something crazy like cheated on him or spent all of your joint savings or lost the house or something extreme, I find it more acceptable. He is hurt in these situations, and sees you in a different light. He may or not mean it, but it's a little more understandable. In just a standard squabble however- hell no.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2010): I allow mine to call me all the names under the sun during intimacy (when all the normal rules of polite conversational discourse have been suspended totally) and only then. Bitch, slut, whore, all of the above, I'm guilty as charged. But during serious conversation? No way.
Your question is a bit thin on detail, and doesn't explain what you might have done to warrant such unpleasant verbal abuse. If you have slaughtered his dog, or his entire family, I think he's more than entitled to call you a bitch and not feel any need to apologise. But otherwise...nope. Big red flag.
That said, I would be wary of making a 100% definite pronouncement on this question in the absence of a bit more detail about exactly what sort of argument it was. He didn't hit you, which WOULD be a total deal-breaker. And your post was precisely one sentence long, so it would be irresponsible for me or anyone else to jump onto a soap-box on the basis of such scarce information and scream 'DUMP HIM'. So - let us know? What exactly happened?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2010): thats like a slap in the face and is just humiliating for the girl. he would be my ex-boyfriend, period.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2010): No, not exceptable...I have a girlfriend who on rare occasions when she is being silly calls me a beeyutch. I dont really like it, but it has happened a couple of times...
But no one would call me that in anger and continue to be my boyfriend. Just....no. Mal
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2010): REFUSE to be treated like that!
If he is joking, I don't get it. If he is not joking, be worried. Dump him before he goes from verbal abuse to physical violence.
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (8 September 2010):
 It's not really a question of allowing or not, is it? So, in an argument, he swears and you and calls you names - how do you stop him? Tell him it is not acceptable? Walk out of the room? Throw his things in the garden? Never speak to him again?
Of course there is no excuse for his behaviour, and it is horrible. He is a lesser person because of it. He has maybe been brought up with this kind of verbal fighting, or maybe has just fallen into it. Whatever way, I suspect that if he has now done it once, he will do it again, and it will get worse and worse (ie, there will come a point when he does it just because he's a bit annoyed, rather than in the heat of an argument). It is an appalling habit and totally disrespectful.
Or, maybe, it was a very provocative argument and he was pushed to the limit and he won't ever do it again.
I think you need to make it 110 percent clear that argument or no, you won't stand for it. If he does it again, he walks. That's the only way. That, or putting up with increasing verbal abuse.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (8 September 2010):
 No. He'd now be my ex-boyfriend.
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A
female
reader, misfitschik66  +, writes (8 September 2010):
 hmm..I'm sure a lot of people are going to have different opinions on this one my dear
but when my fiance called my a "slut" one night(jokingly) i slapped him in the face
no one calls me that and even if it was a joke it is uncalled for
bitch is a little different but that's because we both call each other that word
joking none joking to me "bitch" isn't really a swear word we both use it as a kind of
yo mamma joke
my uncle breeds dogs and uses the "bitch" word in pretty much every sentence when he is talking to other dog breeders
but like i said everyone on this site is going to have different opinions on this subject
now if he was calling you down right dirty names like the f word or the c word THEN that is a different story
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (8 September 2010):
 Nope, oh wait, I don't date guys... Uhhhh, ok this is awkward now. HA!
Cursing is one thing, but calling someone hurtful names is different. Often in the heat of the moment we say things we later regret, but that is still not an excuse. Also, depending on the level, this may constitute verbal abuse which can often lead to physical abuse. Personally I wouldn't tolerate this at all.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (8 September 2010):
No. I'm a guy, and even in a heated argument, I've not stooped that low.
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