A
female
age
36-40,
*roubled613
writes:My Fiancee often insults mt appearance, telling me that i have a double chin, and he likes thin girls. he also tells me i look fat in certain clothes. he will give me backhanded comliments like" you look so nice today i wish you'd look like this everyday" im not sure what to do
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male
reader, Odds  +, writes (6 September 2010):
 Hmm. Either he is truly bad at hinting that he wants you to lose weight, or he's just an ass. If the former, be prepared for a difficult marriage with a man who loves you but is incapable of expressing it properly - that may not be worth it to you, and I wouldn't balme you. If the latter, dump him now before it's too late.
Either way, figure out what to do about his attitude *before* you get married, or it will be ten times as hard on both of you.
A
female
reader, FluffyPie +, writes (6 September 2010):
 If he's not ok with you, he shouldn't be with you in the first place.
You know what? He is a jerk.
Even if he thinks that his words motivate you to lose weight or change your appearance, to you, they're great kicks. He might pull the "I'm just kidding" line. You don't just joke with these things. If he's serious about it, he doesn't deserve you, because he's insulting your appearance. When you love someone, you don't care much about the way they look like. You just love them. If he really wants to help you, he sure fails at approaching this subject. He can say it without making you feel offended.
I'm a bit chubby myself and my boyfriend once told me "you look better with this belt around your waist. Makes you look thinner". At first, I took it as an insult, but after that, he's never said such things. Even if he thinks I'm fluffy, he's just seeing the good part of it. He's a man after all.
So, your man is not worthy of you. Trust me, you are beautiful and you can get a man who appreciates your real value. I'm not just saying it, because everyone says that "the real beauty lies inside", it's because I've been there and I mean it.
Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2010): Men will never change. Is this the way you really want to get treated if you get married?
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (6 September 2010):
You should not be marrying this man.
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