A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I keep thinking about cheating on my boyfriend and then feeling so guilty afterwards I almost cry. Ive been with him for 3 years and live with him. I do honestly love him and dont know what I would do if I lost him so why do I keep getting tempted? I've got a friend who also has a girlfriend. He told me he fancied me about 7 months ago before he got his girlfriend but said he wouldnt do anything because of my boyfriend. We were always very flirty with each other and used to text each other most days but once he got together with his girlfriend we kinda drifted apart and would only talk at work about general stuff. However last week we had a work night out and started chatting again about how we drifted apart and it was like old times. We got pretty drunk and he leant in to kiss me but I pulled away saying I couldnt do it and went straight home. He apologised the next day and said he felt guilty as he couldnt stop thinking about doing things with me. We eventually ended the conversation with us saying we would never cheat on our partners and didnt mention it again.I love his personality and find him okay looking and theres definately chemistry between us but sometimes i find myself looking at him thinking hes not attractive, yet all I can think about is being with him. Im even looking forward to our next works night out as I thought we might get close again and i like the excitement. However now hes text me saying dont worry about it as nothing will happen between us and although Im relieved as i dont want to cheat, Im also upset and feel like ive been rejected.whats wrong with me?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (8 September 2010):
The truth is, your relationship with your boyfriend has come to the end. You're a young women, and your head and heart are telling you to be out there with other guys having fun. From everything you've said, you're coming across as a woman who is in a relationship because it's a safe option, rather than something you truly want. Your boyfriend provides support and a safety net. But that can only go so far. You may well love your boyfriend, but in no way do you love him enough to be wit him. You're not with the right guy to commit to, and you're not ready to commit. The best thing you can do is end it with your boyfriend so he can find someone who will commit, and you can go have your fun. If you don't, you'll wind up cheating and it will destroy your reputation. Then no decent guy will be bothered at all. Go have your fun, and when you do find the right guy, you won't feel this way.
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