A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok where to start ...Me and my boyfriend have been together 3 and a half years and last weekend (4th september) we went out with friends for my birthday. There was 3 of my friends and one of his. We had all drunk far too much and my boyfriend kicked off because me and my friends were dressed up and had a pic taken with some guys dressed as school boys. Now this pic was totally innocent no touching anything (we had this thing to go find everyone dressed up and have a pic, a silly tradition we have). But he went mental and stormed off, his friend followed him and tried to calm him down and I got called everything under the sun, the one that sticks out is 'cheap slut'. We were outside the club by ourselves (is friend had convinced him to come and talk to me) and he was being very obnoxious and refusing to listen to what I had to say. I went to tap his face and grab it to make him look at me so he would listen and he slapped me really hard across the face! He has never done this before and I didn't know how to react. Before I could people near us had noticed and were coming over to see if I was ok and having a go at him. I immediately defended him saying I had provoked him.The question is. I personally don't feel like I did anything wrong but did I? By having a pic with guys is it wrong? Did i provoke such a thing? He has never done anything like this before and in the morning he apologised like mad and even cried which I had never seen before.I'm just very confused and feel a little intimidated to talk to him about it. Was it a misunderstanding that flew out of control due to drink or did it deserve such a reaction? Any help would be great thanks x
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female
reader, leaf_ lady +, writes (11 September 2010):
 He will do it again, I hate to say it but I know from personal experience. And if you do stay, what will the excuse be when he is sober and he raises his hand to you? You are still young. Don't waste your life or self respect on this cretin.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (6 September 2010):
This is the start. I've been drunk, yet I've never hit a woman. Plenty of other guys have been drunk, they've never hit girls. You should just end it now.
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A
female
reader, spanishquerida +, writes (6 September 2010):
Please end it. My mother was abused for many years. It started out as just a push... then a slap... then a punch... It ended with a carving knife slicing open her head. Please please please end it now. It may start this way but it'll soon change; what you have to remember is he lost his temper with you and was willing to do it once. What if he loses his temper again? And again? And again? You didn't do anything wrong there and yet he did that. That's not good. End it now.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks guys I really appreciate this was a one off and there had been FAR TOO MUCH alcohol I feel like we have beenn together long enough and this never happened but at the same time I am very nervous that it could be the start. I was awfully drunk as well but no way would I have hit him and to be honest is drink an excuse?? I don't know I love him very much and alcohol can turn even the nicest people into complete scoundrels!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2010): What you did wasn't the best, but it in NO WAY deserves a slap. There is nothing that you can do that requires a man (or anyone, for that matter) to slap you.
I'm going to get slated for this, but I think that if this really is behaviour that stands out then you should give him ONE last chance. If he has never shown any aggressive tendencies then there is a chance that this really was a drink fueled one off. However, if there is a hint of anything happening which you feel intimidated by then you should end it.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (6 September 2010):
DON'T DEFEND HIM! He's an abuser, and you should dump him. Read up on women in Britain who have been killed by domestic violence, or have ended up in hospital. This time it was as slap. Next time it will be a punch. Then something much worse. Don't even think about working this out with him. End it.
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