A
female
age
51-59,
*enina
writes:i have been married for 14 yrs the mortgage and house is in my husband's name, i have brought up our sons age 15 17 yrs and also worked building up my own business from home, i am also company secretary for my husbands building business, i want to leave the marriage as he mentally and on occasions physically abuses me,but i dont know how to, i have children horses dogs dependant on me, and i need premises to work from.He say if i leave i leave with nothing as its all in his name.The marriage as far as im concerned is dead, we dont share anything together not even a meal and im left to do everything for the family, i have tried to involve him in my hobbies which are pleasure driving my horses and country walks with the dogs but he's not interested in spending any time with me or the boys in there activities.he does have a conversations only debates or arguments and now im at my lowest point and cant escape this miserable lonely marriage. any advice is greatly appreciated x Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (8 October 2010):
 I agree you need to get evidence of the abuse, it will help your case. You are entitled to half his assets and the courts will go through everything. Get a good family law solicitor, they will do all the legal stuff for you.
I know it seems like a huge task, you have the kids and the animals to worry about but you have to weigh up the inconvienience of sorting everything out against living the rest of your life miserable and in fear.
I divorced 6 years ago...I still cant tell you how I got through it as most of its a blur, but I had an excellent solicitor and now I am happy and settled in my own home...it may be smaller than I had, but it's mine and I no longer live in fear.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2010): His legal advice is part of his abuse. His understanding of the law is likely quite flawed. Go get some good legal advice. You may in fact own a LOT more than you understand.
Hopefully, you own a good portion of the business... If he built the business while you were married, odds are good that it's community property, and you are entitled to part of it's value.
Go get some good advice, and then act on it. You can't take care of anyone else, until you take care of yourself!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (7 October 2010):
Ah-ah. You're married to him, so you can claim what's yours. It doesn't matter that it's all in his name. You work, you've looked after the kids, so you're entitled to your share.
http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/
Find out where your nearest office is and make an appointment. They offer totally FREE advice, and can help point you in the right direction. Get yourself a decent solicitor as well. You are MORE then entitled to your share here. Don't think you're not, and don't let him win you over.
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