A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Well recently my boyfriend went on a trip to France with a group of his friends. They were all couples and he was the only guy without his girlfriend there, I couldn’t go because I was in college. Because he wasn’t there as a couple, he told me he went for walks by himself because sometimes he felt uncomfortable around so many couples. He went to France for two weeks, and text me about every three days of his holiday.When he arrived back home, a few days later I was at his house doing some art homework on his computer. I couldn’t remember the exact surname of the artist I was supposed to research, so I typed in a few different names. As I was searching, a French looking name kept showing up in the search results, and I was curious so I clicked on it. It came up as search results for a French prostitute. Disturbed by this I checked his history and he’d searched this prostitute twice. I asked him about it and he seemed very nervy and wouldn’t even look at me when he started talking.He firstly denied even searching for it even though it was in black and white in front of my eyes. He got really flustered and stuttered his words and then he started saying of how he meant to look for a character cheat on a video game and he must of spelt it wrong. I can tell when he’s lying and it was so obvious he was hiding something. I told him to stop being silly and tell me the truth, I wasn’t even raising my voice I was being very calm about it. He insisted it was a mistake, even though he looked at it twice, which he also denied. So I looked at the video game he was mentioning, looked into it, there was absolutely no character names at all that remotely looked like, or sounded like the French name that he typed in.So I know that was a lie, and I’m getting very frustrated and suspicious now of his behaviour. I told him I don’t believe him and how it insulted me that he would think I’m that gullible to believe such a silly excuse. I’m pretty sure that he knew what he was looking for when he typed in that name. My worry is why on earth would he be looking at a French prostitute, do you think that he may have done something with a prostitute whilst in France? Like I said he told me he went for walks on his own, I’m starting to worry what he got up to when he went on these walks. Any honest opinions and advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeh maybe thank you for the feedback so far. That also crossed my mind, if he's actually attracted to prostitutes, then that alone makes me physically sick. I'll try to get the truth out of him but I think this is the end of our relationship now I don't do bullsh*t.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2010): Yes he's obviously hiding something.He may have ONLY searched for one, but not actually gone through with it, or he may have actually been lonely and paid for one. Either way his lying about it is bad.Have you slept with him since he got back?I would not trust that he was clean (STD's I mean) because even with a condom you can contract certain sexually transmitted diseases.I would first insist that you both go and get tested, and I would most certainly make sure to wear a condom for at least 3 months and then get tested again after that to be sure.Keep in mind, he could have easily contracted herpes or wards from a prostitute even if he were wearing a condom.As far as whether you should break up with him... that's your choice, he's obviously lying, but what to do about it ... well for one don't sleep with him till you have the answers, then once you know the truth of what he did, find out WHY he did it. Maybe he only did it because he's into a certain sexual act that you refuse to do, or something he's afraid to tell you because it's freaky or weird, or he thinks you'll think that.Open communication is best, say you had thought about trying something new in bed and if he had some strange fantasy that wasn't normal... find out if maybe that's what he wanted to do with the prostitue or if he actually did it... but don't treat him like a freak if it's something abnormal to you, try and be understanding, people have interesting and strange fantasies, but that doesn't make them bad people. What makes someone bad is lying about it and cheating behind someones back, but if there's more open communication there's a much higher chance that won't happen again.Best of luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI do feel very suspicious, I just don't know what to think, I don't want to believe he would have done anything but at the same time I know he is not being genuine here. If he has done anything with the prostitute, why do you think he would be searching for her on the internet?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2010): He could have been using the prostitute's website as porn. Like because he was going to France, the hookers are what he wanted to get off to. It makes it more believable and less like a fantasy. Its a tough spot to talk your way out of so maybe thats why but thats a possibility. It is also a possibility he saw her.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (7 October 2010):
He did something. His blatant attempt to lie and claim he never looked at the prostitute is the proof. He did. You know it, I know it, he knows it. If he was in France, and this girl is French, I'd say from what you've written that he did something. He's attempted to lie about not searching her, he's acting very suspiciously (not able to look at you), and he's given you he most shocking lie of all in that he was searching for a video game.
I'm sorry, but I think he's guilty as hell.
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