A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Help!!! Any advise out there about getting over a crush? I am in my forties married to the man of my dreams and have two beautiful kids but can't get my MD out of my head! I did not really like him at first but then he started flirting with me and I was hooked!I admit I enjoyed the flirting and dressed up to see him. Need to stop this now!!!! Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Lovegirl, I am on my way to recovery re:crush. I looked at my hunky husband this am with just his undies on and had a big smile on my face!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2010): I am glad you are making some real choices in your life and perhaps realise what you stand o lose. Don't feel sorry for the docs wife, rather feel sorry for your hb. In your hbs very presence some flattery flirting?? This doc had no respect for your hb dy conducting himself in such a blatant manner. Disrespect and basically the attitude of 'I can have your wife anytime I want. And she will give it to me" attitude.
I don't know if you are aware of this but so men people (both men and women) who tend to lose a lot of weight tend to also believe that they can find better. They ditch their better halves for the exciting, forbidden and often that affair destroys the foundations of their lives. They are so full of themselves that they cannot and do not realise that their better halves loved them in all their imperfections, with the added weight. Only when they lose their families do they ask themselves at what a price??
So perhaps next time the good doc is starring deep. Into your blue eyes and perhaps being too touchy feely, in your minds eye, see your hb disappear, kids disappear, family life disappear and everything you once held dear, disappear. That may just make you snap back into reality. So get ready for date night for hubby and keep the bridget jones panties for the doc. Seems like you got a good thing with your hubby. You have the power in your hands to ensure this doc 'relationship' doesn't progress any further.
If I remember correctly plse check out the archives here (approx 2/3 months ago) a female wrote in about how her plastic surgeon pursued her, she embarked on her affair, and then he broke it off with her. An eye opener, her story. So read it, understand it and then judge her situation. Perhaps u would identify with her situation. And the devastation it has caused in her life.
Good luck
-LoveGirl
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo the last female anonymous writer. I never acted on any of the doctor's actions. Of course I have to be friendly back. What am I suppose to do when someone is staring right in your eye and won't look away unless you do? Very awkward situation. I haven't been running around or "loose." I do admit to being flattered and have been reading about how the idea of falling in love is a kind of addiction. I am having to look inside myself and my marriage to find answers. Yes, I am making choices--the right ones with my eyes wide open.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the words of encouragement DenimandLace44! To the anonymous doctor, thanks for snapping me back into reality. I have to keep remembering what you posted. I did feel uncomfortable from the beginning. A friend had recommended him. I was too busy to check out other plastic surgeons. A bit unnerving I was feeling romantic gestures when he was possibly getting off on the appointments. YIKES! It was weird with all the follow up appointments--more than 15 in less than a year. My husband started to question that. But I always trying to rationalize it. Thinking it was sweet/concern--even doing some other minor surgeries for free. Why would a doctor do this? I feel bad for his wife. I would hate if my husband did this to other women. Thanks again.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2010): i agree with the last male anon - the doctor. your doc is a creep and i am certain he has tried getting into many of his female patients pants. so if you want to continue with your flirtish/sluttish/come get me behaviour, then continue in the manner you have. but if you want to have some diginity for yourself and have any morals , quit while you are ahead.
i too have lost a lot of weight. yes the attention is great but i made a choise not to become loose and run around just bec i am a few kilos lighter. choices, darling, choices!!!!!
as for the good doc, his luck will run out when some woman who has the moral convictions, decide to take his unprofessional behaviour to the correcct authorities.
- LoveGirl
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2010): I'm a doctor...not a plastic surgeon though.
Frankly, your doctor is creepy and should be reported to the medical license board of your state if he is doing this.
Docs who do this kind of thing almost never do it with one woman, they get to know the women that are their patients and they figure out which ones are vulnerable to it. It is often very deliberate, very calculated, and seems very "hot" to the recipient.
Till they find out they are not #1, but #75 of 75.
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reader, DenimandLace44 +, writes (7 October 2010):
 woohoo!!!!! way to go girlie! Have fun with the hubby, and ignore the good doctor. :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes DenimandLace44, Guys do seem to have a different mindset! Just having sex does not mean quality time. But in the mean time, I am in the process of choosing sexy underwear for my date night with my husband and some cotton hip huggers for my doctor's appointment!
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female
reader, DenimandLace44 +, writes (7 October 2010):
I know, me too. They are just critters of a different mindset. LOL My hubby seldom thinks of it on his own, without some gentle (hahaha) reminders. But even just a couple or three hours away from the kids, and alone, does clear out the cobwebs and make you feel like a WOMAN!!! :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks DenimandLace44! Life is stressful. I think I was just trying to escape. Sometimes the grass seems greener on the other side but I guess it's not. Thanks for the support. We have been trying harder about date night--should have been once a month but it's more biannual. Guys seem to focus just on sex--wish they would focus more on the romantic stuff!
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female
reader, DenimandLace44 +, writes (7 October 2010):
You have a great hubby and children. Don't throw that away. We have probably all at one time or another had a huge crush, or even felt genuine love for someone else. I think when we put that behind us, and focus all of our energy on what we have living in our own homes, we will see great results.
Date night is a must when you have small children. It keeps a spark going. I love date night. I touch my hubby, flirt outrageaously and he responds like you wouldnt believe possible.
It is great for a gal's ego...:)
I say good for you for catching this one, and nipping it in the bud. Good girl!!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Vintage64! Plexi, I guess I am enjoying attn. After my surgery, it has been a sort of transformation. I lost about 30 lbs. and started working out a lot. I am actually fitter than when I was in my twenties. I went from "chubby mommy" to "fit mommy" in a year. My husband loves my transformation unfortunately my doc seemed to like it too. My doc is cute, close to my age, and married with kids. I guess I was flattered and dumbfounded by all the eye contact/staring, obvious flirting, nervousness, and at first innocent touchiness etc. His staff seemed really annoyed by his actions and would roll up their eyes when he would start. I did tell my husband about this but I think it only made him upset. My husband is very busy. We are both very busy. He is not the most romantic guy and he knows it. I knew this marrying him. He does love the sex though but I wish it were more dreamy like my earlier doc encounters. The last appt./encounter was a little creepy because he was a little too touchy feely and put his arm around my waist and rubbed my side several times--I thought he was counting my ribs!!!
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female
reader, Plexi  +, writes (7 October 2010):
 It's just a fantasy and you enjoy the attention you are getting from him. Do you feel that your husband is not paying as much attention to you as he used to when you first met? Does the attention you are getting from your doc remind you of the attention you used to get from men when you were younger and this makes you feel good? If the problem is within your marriage I suggest you talk to your husband and tell him how you are feeling and what you need from him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2010): Oh good, I am glad you can stop needing to see him and that you can see it for what it is. Have fun with hubby on date night.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionGreat idea caring guy! My husband and I have an above average sex life but I did think of my MD a couple of times when my husband and I were intimate--feel guilty about that. I think it is just the taboo of it all--forbidden fruit. I am a DDS but did not have to take the Hypocratic oath but would never flirt with my patients in that way even if I found them attractive. Off limits! I am looking into some adult Halloween costumes to surprise my hubby. I figured doing something new and exciting would spice things up--You're right!
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the sage answers Vintage64, tmisty777, yaytentacles. I only have one more follow up appointment--He did some cosmetic surgery and has to check it and take the final photos (Afters) I am a bit nervous about that appointment but it will be the final one. Crushes are hard to beat and I am doing my best to disconnect with MD. No more sappy songs on the radio. Seems like an addiction. I know I have to look inside myself. It was a nice diversion, escape, and fantasy--just freaked me out when some flirting on his end crossed the line. I am planning a date night with my hubby this weekend. We've been married for 18 years. Need to shake this and writing about it helps! Thanks!
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (6 October 2010):
I have an idea. Maybe if you like the whole 'Doctor' idea, you could do some role play with your husband, dress up for him and get him to play doctor. Sounds like your marriage could just do with a kick.
Oh, and doctor/patient relationships are illegal, so remember that too.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2010): One of things about being married, is you don't get those feelings of meeting someone new, that rush you get, the excitement, hell everyone wants to feel fancied. On the plus side marriage brings something much deeper,than that first flutter of attraction. You are married to the man of your dreams and have two beautiful kids, who do you choose them or the crush? You know the answer.
This man is your doctor he shouldn't be flirting with you in the first place, what does that tell you about the type of man he is? You said it yourself you need to stop, change doctors and get him our of your life.
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female
reader, tmisty777 +, writes (6 October 2010):
 Yeah it needs to stop, it may be flattering to know that another guy is interested in you, but you got to respect your husband in this matter. What if he had the same thing going on, it'd be hurtful wouldn't it? What you need to do is try to request a different doctor, preferably a female, or change clinics all together. Hope this helped.
Love is a very special thing- it took me a while to figure it out and hurt the one that I love deeply, so I want to try and make sure everyone understands how important it is to be faithful and truely give your all to your mate...
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female
reader, yaytentacles +, writes (6 October 2010):
 Well, it just sounds like you enjoy the attention. You probably like it because your husband doesn't flirt with you as much anymore. The way to fix this is to re-connect with your husband. Good luck.
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