A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Not sure what to make of this.I was involved with a woman from work earlier this year. She ended things and went back to her ex and has been hot and cold with me ever since (she's generally nice to me when she wants something). She's been involved with several men, but seems to be single at the moment.When she came into work today she was complaining about money troubles. She joked that she'd have to start selling herself to make ends meet. I joked back that she'd have to send me a price list.A little while later she sent me a text to say that I could come round to her flat tonight and sleep with her for a price! I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. I told her that I wasn't interested but would be willing to help her with her finances.I'm not too sure where I go from here with this. I found the whole thing embarassing and a bit tragic. Any advice would be appreciated.
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (12 October 2010):
 I'll break this piece of news to you: she didn't "borrow" your money. She asked you for it, because she correctly assumed you would not ask her to pay you back. In other words, she took that money. It doesn't matter if it is little money or a lot of it: she took that from you.
Hard lesson to learn: you can't "save" anyone from themselves unless they want to be "saved". And from the looks of it, she doesn't think she needs to be saved. Let her be. I assume she's an adult.
You, poster, go your merry way. Find someone else who won't ask you for "a few hundred pounds" without ever meaning to pay them back.
Now, I beg to disagree with one of the posters: this is not sexual harassment.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2010): This woman is bad news. Youre a nice guy and altho most finish last...this brod sure as heck aint for you to get involved with in any way shape or form. This just seems disastrous and I would not hesitate to report her to your company OR police as you have proof of her text message. Fact is this: She is harrassing and soliciting sex, which Id hope is against the law where you are. Stay away and continue to be smart my man.
Regards
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2010): She borrowed money from me when we were together and never paid it back. It wasn't a huge amount, just a few hundred pounds, but it does mean that I wouldn't want to lend her anymore.
She's borrowed money from the boss, to cover her expenses when her ex threw her out. I don't know if she's paying that back, or how!
She's not a stranger and I would be happy to go through her finances and see if I could help her to cut back on her outgoings. The strange thing is she refused that offer of help. In her words, 'it's private and personnal'. I can't think of anything more personnal than sleeping together.
I've tried to get her to go to a therapist in the past, but she's not interested. She's a very screwed up woman, but I do care for her. There is no chance of us getting back together, but I hate to see her like this.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (12 October 2010):
Ooops! Your firm name should be "H. I. V. Free".
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (12 October 2010):
Well, if she told me she wants to borrow some money from me, I wouldn't give anything to her. I think I wouldn't let her borrow my little thing, either :-). Or, more appropriately, lease him :-). The other tenants might not have been as clean as this one.
You could send her back a message in the tone and style of a bank. "Dear Ms. Saleswoman, 1 Cheap Sex Route, Debauchery, California, 69069. Thank you for your business offer. We referred it to our Appraisal Department, and verified that our strategic annual operating plan does not include such a transaction as you are offering us. We thank you, however, for your kind communication. Sincerely, V. I. H. Free"
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A
female
reader, AuntieSnap +, writes (12 October 2010):
Eeeeeek, she sounds like she is in serious financial meltdown if she is offering herself like this. If you really want to help her maybe get in touch with your company councillor if you have one, or a debt councillor to set up a meeting with this lady and the sooner the better. DO NOT under any circumstance go to her flat alone because if she is as desperate for money as you think she is she could lure you there to set you up and say you attacked her or worse - these things do happen and there are a lot of unscrupulous people out there ready to exploit innocent people with this ploy to make a fast buck and if she is at the end of her tether she will try anything. However saying that, she may just be playing nasty games with you and if so avoid, avoid, avoid!!!!
I hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (12 October 2010):
 Definitely don't get involved in a relative stranger's finances. I'd just stay away from the whole situation. Don't lend her any money, and certainly don't pay her for sex.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (11 October 2010):
I would just stay away from her to be honest. This is the sort of thing that could get out of hand. Even if you do nothing and just give her money, you could be setting yourself up one way or another.
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