A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi guys, iv got a problem....i caused it though, but want help getting my ex bf back!I broke up with my ex 3 weeks ago, just before my birthday, he gave me presents and spoilt me rotten..then i dumped him...i offered to give his presents back, but i have to keep the bra and panties...Anyway i broke up with him because he never really made me think 'oh this is fun and exciting' when he did try his best...he took me to motorshows which i liked, walked his dogs with me, we went shopping a lot, he took me to all sorts of places and when money wasnt tight he took me into london which i loved to bits! But it wasnt exciting enough for me, my bf was just a bit too on the boring non spontaneous side...an ex bf made me realise that after a couple of meetings...there are more fun people, but my old ex is going to live with his gf, after convincing me he had no gf and he convinced me to leave my ex for him, he was fun and spunky...i told my bf that we arent compatable and chased this other guy,Anyway to the point, i have been doing a lot of thinking and my latest bf has made a lot of changes to himself in the last 3 weeks to make himself good enough for me, i must admit he really does love me and i dont appreciate him as much as i should, now that i realise this and that i have been so selfish, a girl he has started speaking to has started pointing out my flaws and telling him that he shouldnt get back with me because i have been so selfish and messed him about too much, pushing him to do something, when he does it and makes changes i say its not good enoug and focus on something else... I want him back, i realised that i have made a massively huge mistake...he says i have to work for his love back because iv hurt him and negleted him when hes done everything i wanted even with my backwards and forwards needs and wants, i dont know what he wants because he says he dosent know and the girl is being a bit spiteful saying that she shoe is on the other foot...im such a bitch but want him back...help- mrs. not confused anymore
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (7 October 2010):
Oh yes, you messed up. Your boyfriend is the original nice guy. Did everything, it still wasn't what you wanted. I know how that feels, because I was the man in his shoes.
The very, very first thing you need to think about is whether you really want him back, or whether you're doing it just because another woman is on the scene pointing out flaws and such. Do you really want him back for love, or do you want him back so he can't move on? If you get him back, will you suddenly dump him? Worse, are you going back just because this old ex doesn't want you? Please think carefully about this, because whilst your boyfriend has changed in three weeks, he may well change back to being Mr Nice Guy, which isn't something you want at this time.
If you want him back, now is the time to get grovelling. You need to convince him that you're worth the second shot, and that you made a big mistake. He may take you back. He may not.
But before you do ask him, think. Is he REALLY the man you want to be with for the rest of your life? Or is he convenient until someone else who seems 'exciting' comes along?
A
female
reader, Priyanka09  +, writes (7 October 2010):
 Well I guess, yes a lotof damage has been done. Now if you are sure you want him back, probably make efforts to win him back. Impress him with surprises, gift him nice stuffs, talk to him, spend more and more time with him, make him believe you have really changed and that you are sorry for what you did. If he is convinced, and if its not too late, he will come back to you!!!!!But after making all the efforts, do give him space to decide what he really wants now. If he seriously decides to move on, you will have to let him go. But first, do make efforts to win him back.
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