| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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What do I do next? He treats me like a kid, not his GF. I turn off when he speaks badly to me.
Q. Hey guys, well i am still with my ex, we broke up but he said he would try for our relationship, if you read my other question.....well things are going better, but he still treats me like a kid. He never ever talks to me like a adult. i had too ge...
A. 17 April 2011: And there you have it, sadly. He's a total moron and a loser through and through. Promise yourself that from now on, you won't date complete idiots! In return, I'll promise you that there are millions of better, maturer guys out there who will treat ... (read in full...)
How much to shave.
Q. I'm new to sex and everything and i wanted to know do i shave it all off keep some? i would ask my boyfriend but its embarrassing and i dont know what to do! ...
A. 16 April 2011: I would agree with Odds - if this is something you can't discuss with your boyfriend, then you need to ask whether you're ready for sex.
Men aren't all the same, and your boyfriend will know what he wants. So speak to him.
... (read in full...)
What would you do in the case of paternity fraud?
Q. What would you do if you were to find out the child your wife/spouse gave birth to you was not yours? ...
A. 16 April 2011: I'd get legal advice and look to sue. Here in Britain, some fathers have been able to sue women who have made them pay for children that aren't theirs. And they're winning.
Oh - also entirely walk away as well.... (read in full...)
How can I find out if she has a new boyfriend?
Q. Last month my girlfriend and I broke up for reasons that were better for both of us. She said maybe in the near future things could work out so I just had to accept it. I know I can't force her into anything. Now recently, she's been putting a photo ...
A. 16 April 2011: I'll level with you - your behaviour is starting to get a bit stalkerish. I wouldn't even risk talking about this, for two reasons.
1 - It's none of your business, and no one will give you a straight answer.
2 - You'll slip into stalker mode and... (read in full...)
Concerned about what my brother wrote on Facebook.
Q. Hello i need a bit of help and advice on what my older brother wrote on fb, he hasnt had a gf for ages but think he likes someone that doesnt like him Im getting a bit concerned about him to Below is what he wrote : Sometimes no matter how...
A. 16 April 2011: I don't think you need to specifically worry about this. I suspect this was written for the "awww" factor. Maybe speak to him and ask him how he is in general. But don't worry too much, because I don't think there's anything to worry about at this ... (read in full...)
Must a guy make the first move?
Q. I have known a girl for sometime now. she likes me but pretends she don't. I want to be sure she likes me before making a move. Must a guy make the first move?...
A. 16 April 2011: Not always, but it's often a good idea to make the first move if you like someone. If you like this girl, go ask her out and see what happens.... (read in full...)
How can I convince my mum that I’m not pregnant, and to let me back into my house?
Q. okay so my family is really strict christian and since my dad died last year my mum has been really strict and protective of me. so last week my mum started telling me that i looked really pale and that i was putting on weight. I took no notice of ...
A. 16 April 2011: This is child abuse. Rather than try to convince her, report her to the police.
You must not EVER allow someone to treat you as disgustingly and as appallingly as this. Your mother is a total hypocrite!
Report her. Please don't accept this tre... (read in full...)
My GF has severe trust issues, she starts to restrict me from whoever she considers a threat, and impulsively dumps me over these issues!!
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been going out for a year and a half, and were really great together. Recently she says she cant trust me, when i have never done anything to ever make her not trust me. About a month ago i went home for a few days and...
A. 16 April 2011: You're truly wasting your time on this girl. She's not worth the hassle or the effort.
I too put up with this from a girlfriend a few years ago. I just ended it, and as always it was the right decision.
You can't make her change, and she wont' ch... (read in full...)
My 5 year old son is jealous over the attention given to his younger sister and has changed dramatically from being a happy child to a miserable one!
Q. So recently my 5yr old sons personality has changed dramatically from being a happy child to being miserable....i know that since my daughter turned 1 thats when his attitude changed..i try to divide my time equally between the 2 of them but its ...
A. 16 April 2011: How much do you involved him in helping with your baby? Sometimes older siblings get on better if they help out with looking after the children, so maybe try involving him with looking after your daughter more as well as trying to spend time with ... (read in full...)
What do I do next? He treats me like a kid, not his GF. I turn off when he speaks badly to me.
Q. Hey guys, well i am still with my ex, we broke up but he said he would try for our relationship, if you read my other question.....well things are going better, but he still treats me like a kid. He never ever talks to me like a adult. i had too ge...
A. 16 April 2011: If you don't want to end it, then you are making the decision to accept this treatment, and you don't have the right to moan about it. He won't change, so either you leave or you start putting up with it. That's your choice. ... (read in full...)
What do I do next? He treats me like a kid, not his GF. I turn off when he speaks badly to me.
Q. Hey guys, well i am still with my ex, we broke up but he said he would try for our relationship, if you read my other question.....well things are going better, but he still treats me like a kid. He never ever talks to me like a adult. i had too ge...
A. 16 April 2011: So, in other words, he's not changed at all and isn't really making any effort. I really, really think you need to end it. ... (read in full...)
My friend asked to stay with me for a while but I don't want her to even though I like her. What do I do?
Q. ive gotten myself in a bind! help! ok,im a 28 yr old single mom who lives by herself. i have a friend,same age as me,whom we've been friends since middle school. she's single with no children. she's recently come upon hard times and had to move out ...
A. 16 April 2011: Forgetting how she keeps the house, how is she with kids, and more importantly would you realistically be able to cope with someone being there knowing that you're a mother and you have a child/children to look after?
I would be more concerned that... (read in full...)
Hot for teacher! What to do?
Q. Hello right I have a mega mega problem. I am 1000000000000000000000% in love with my teacher and have been for 2 and a half years but I'm 13 he's 40 he's married and has a kid. So there is no way on earth that we will ever be together. And I'm only ...
A. 16 April 2011: I'm not the the same situation. But I do know a girl who was, as she was in my class.
She was 14, and fell for a teacher. She made a move, and he responded. He got fired, jailed and put on the sex offender's register. She was expelled and had to m... (read in full...)
We broke up 3 weeks ago. How long am I supposed to wait?
Q. It's been about 3 weeks now since my boyfriend broke up with me. He only did it because of my family, since something bad happened between my brother in law and him. He feels upset and hurt about it. I am just wondering why is it that the girls ...
A. 16 April 2011: But perhaps the point is you didn't do anything. If something bad happened between him and your brother, who were you supportive of? What happened to make him walk exactly?... (read in full...)
I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 days because he dated me discreetly. How do I handle this?
Q. Ok so ive been with this guy for 4 days and i broke up with him because he was being discreet about our relationship...he didnt want anyone to know that he went with me..but he has a new gf now and everyone knows that they go together... i dont know...
A. 16 April 2011: I would just not care and move on. Teenage boys often don't make the best boyfriends.... (read in full...)
My husband has a sex addiction and I'm considering leaving him...Advice?
Q. I have been with my husband for going on 13 years now and we have three kids ....But he has had a problem with what I think is a sex-addiction. He has had problems calling sex chat lines , signing for up for single sites and so on, but now I have ...
A. 16 April 2011: Pictures of your sister and friends cut out and placed on porn star bodies!!?? - Yes, I think leave. ... (read in full...)
Why do men run away scared?
Q. what are you supposed to do in a situation where a man runs away scared because he likes you too much and is afraid of committing and getting hurt? this man came back after not talking for a month and not seeing each other for two months to me tell...
A. 16 April 2011: You always ditch guys like this. I never ran away from a girl I liked, neither did any of the decent guys I know. A real man who's secure in himself and has respect for you won't run away and treat you like a commodity. He'll run after you!
T... (read in full...)
Erect penis is "shifted" to my left side...does anyone know how to fix it?
Q. This is a very embarrassing question to be asking anyone face to face, so I hope people on the internet will provide me with an answer and not mock me. =$ When ever I have an erection, my penis would curve down slightly, but not only that, my wh...
A. 16 April 2011: I would also agree with Cerberus. Anything like this is best discussed with your doctor. Just bear in mind that nearly every penis has a curve or bend in it, often to do with the weight distribution of your testicles. But, just to be safe, it's best ... (read in full...)
My ex ignored me and it hurt like hell. Now he's wished me Happy Birthday. Should I respond?
Q. Hello,Im hoping to get some advice on the following situation. Thanks in advance. I moved to Europe and met a guy that i really liked and was in a relationship with for 3.5 months. (We are both 28 years old). I got attached very quickly. I was mean...
A. 16 April 2011: It means nothing. Sorry to tell you this, but this is just some guy with a big ego looking to get it stroked. I'll bet that if you respond, nothing will happen and you'll just get hurt or used.
The guy was crap before, and he's crap now. ... (read in full...)
Sister is having a party when my parents go away. She asked me if I wanted to drink too. Please advise.
Q. Hey guys this isn't about relationships but this is now the only place I can get advice. My parents are going away for the weekend and my older sister is having people over. They are all gunna bring alcohol and some will bring fags. My sister asked ...
A. 15 April 2011: Buddy, let me tell you straight not to do it. Parties like this can go wrong, and you might be the only sober one left to call someone if something does go wrong. ... (read in full...)
Should I be his mother, or lay off?
Q. My fiance is starting to really pissed me off, and making me second guess my future with him! I am so TIRED of having to be his "mother" in EVERYTHING! Whenever I have to go to work, and hes home all day, I have to write a little list of things ...
A. 14 April 2011: Do you not think that this is a sign that you shouldn't be marrying him? I don't think he has the mental capacity to deal with single life, let alone married life. I think you're setting yourself up the longer you stay with him. ... (read in full...)
What if my perfect guy is out there and I'm dating the wrong man?
Q. Just looking for some general advice from both guys and girls.......my boyfriend and i have been together for almost a year now......he is my first boyfriend and before i met him i always had a picture built up in my mind of the perfect guy for ...
A. 14 April 2011: I think, like many people, you've built up this image of the perfect person that simply doesn't exist. I think that this is very much a sign that mentally, you're not ready for a relationship. The perfect guy doesn't exist. At all. Every guy has a ... (read in full...)
Why don't kids respect their parents anymore?
Q. I have three kids that I have raised on my own and I am proud of my children and the people that they are trying to become. Recently I had this big blow out with my children where they felt they had a right to sit there and disrespect me in ways ...
A. 14 April 2011: What was the blow out about? My experience tells me that to have three children turning against you means you may be the one who has overstepped the mark here. Respect is a mutual thing, and the worst thing you could have done here is to tell them ... (read in full...)
I love my Mom, but how do I regain her trust? She's discovered I've lost my virginity.
Q. Hello there, I really need your help. Basically my Mum listened in to a conversation with my sister yesterday and found out: i've lost my virginity to my boyfriend, i was hoping to have him stayover secretly when they went away, that she doen't know ...
A. 13 April 2011: I couldn't agree more with the two posts below. Your mother's behaviour has been absolutely vile, hypocritical and disgusting.
1 - You're 18, that means you can live your own life.
2 - I refer you to the following Bible passages
"Judge no... (read in full...)
What can I do? He's so jealous and questions me for ages if I do go out with friends.
Q. basically me and my boyfriend have been together for two years and a couple of months. I love him with all my heart and we've known each other for years. but he is so jealous of everything! He doesn't like my friends he doesn't like me going out...
A. 13 April 2011: You're the fourth or fifth person today who I would suggest needs to split up with their partner. Not a great day for love, but maybe a great day for the rest of your life at least. ... (read in full...)
Hurt from the past still haunts my relationship. He won't talk about it.
Q. i am so confused with the guy i have been with for 5 years, i love him so much. Part of me wants to let him go so i can be happy, i haven't been happy for awhile now from the way he treated me. 3 years ago he used to run around on me with all t...
A. 13 April 2011: You need to get rid of him. Whilst I know you're hurting, you can't realistically expect him to continually expect him to be answering questions 3 years after - that needed to be dealt with at the time. The time has come to accept that your ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend refers to me as "someone" he doesn't make me feel special
Q. I have been dating this guy for the last 3 years. He is Danish with Master degree. a year ago, he started to refer to me as someone. I wanted to go home, he said do not go, I want someone to hold on to. For the last year he has been referr...
A. 13 April 2011: Lose him. He's useless. ... (read in full...)
What else can I say, that is genuine, but not harsh, to say no to his unwanted attention?
Q. Last week i met a guy. my friends gave my number to him, because he asked for it. But i don't want him to think i'm interested, because he keeps flirting and i'm not doing it back, hoping he will get the idea. I don't want to say the same thing mo...
A. 13 April 2011: "I'm very flattered by your attention, but I'm just not ready to date anyone at this time"... (read in full...)
Where do I stand with my ex? She's confusing me. What is she doing?
Q. Me and my ex broke up and 3 weeks later she had another bf. The other day I was at the club and she was there with her bf. I noticed she spent no time with him at all...he was stood on the sidelines like a wallflower with his friend. She was ...
A. 13 April 2011: You're being played like a violin, is what's happening.
A few years ago, I fancied a girl. She teased me, made me run around - I got nothing at all but a broken heart. So I backed away, and after a while found another girlfriend. The first girl... (read in full...)
Advances from young lady got my married heart fluttering
Q. I am in a bit of a sticky situation! I am married to a wonderful lady, we have 1 child whom I adore with all my heart. Over the last few years our love life has kind of dwindled away, there is no excitement any more, I know she loves me, but I don't ...
A. 13 April 2011: First of all, keep your penis in your pants! This younger woman is not some fantastic angel who will suddenly ignite your fire and make life better - she's the one who'll cause you to lose your fabulous wife and child.
This is a sign that you now ... (read in full...)
Mistress wants to move to within a mile of my house
Q. I have been having an affair with a woman for 6 months.. She was living 300 miles away from me. I wanted to break it off but was not sure how. Well she wanted to go back to school so I convinced her to move back with her parents 1200 miles away. I ...
A. 13 April 2011: Straight up, you are beyond insane for even considering keeping contact with this woman in any way. This woman clearly has obsession with you, and is now out to wreck you. She drove 300 miles to take a picture of your house and show it to you!
Y... (read in full...)
Do guys respect virgins or non experienced girls?
Q. Is it true that guys actually respect girls who have never had sex or if they haven't done much with a guy? I don't want to sound rude, but i don't believe this. I hear guys talk and surely if some girls are rude about the girls who are virgins, ...
A. 13 April 2011: The right guy will always respect the right women, regardless of whether she's a virgin or not. ... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting for not wanting my girlfriend to spend so much time with her ex?
Q. My girlfriend of 2 years suddenly decided she wants to be close friends with her ex. They had lunch together last month and she keeps inviting him to her house to work on art projects. The thing is that she has gone back to this boyfriend 3 times ...
A. 13 April 2011: I would ditch this woman on the strength of this and given that you know she's been back to him before 3 times. I find what she's said to be very poor:
"She didn't contact him in the past because of respect for you" - so what does that mean? That... (read in full...)
Cheated but it felt great!
Q. Ok... so I'm in a long distance realtionship with my boyfriend. We've been together for three years now and I'm actually kind of getting bored. I'm 23 years old, I love him, respect and cherish him. However he is not here, where I need him. LDR just ...
A. 12 April 2011: First of all, do end the LDR. It's a massive failure, and the truth is neither of you really love or respect each other, because if you did you'd not be cheating and feeling good about it. It's become clear that your relationship is over, and you ... (read in full...)
Don't want to turn him off by bringing drama into our affair
Q. So I met a guy at work who is married and I am married as well and we had a discussion one day about hooking up. I am away for 8 weeks on business and don't have to worry about my man catching me as much as his wife would catch him. We hooked up and ...
A. 12 April 2011: Get a divorce. ... (read in full...)
Should I go back to my ex? I love him but he hasn't changed much.
Q. I met my X of 4years, and in his drunken stupor, he told me I am the woman he loves. {I still miss him and think about him everyday of my life} The next day he invited me to visit him at his place, and we ended up having sex. we both did not tal...
A. 12 April 2011: Time to wake up - he's an ex for a reason, and even when you two had sex, nothing came of it. Let him go. ... (read in full...)
My older partner is pregnant but our families are stopping us from being together!
Q. im in a very big confusing situation. I met a woman 8 yrs older than me at work we fell in love for one yr and few months now. I called a meeting with parents and this woman. my mom thinks she is too old for me and she also dont like her mom about ...
A. 12 April 2011: Who cares about her mother! If you two love each other, be together!... (read in full...)
Would this be enough of a 'gift' for an anniversary?
Q. From a male point-of-view, I know guys aren't the most materialistic people in the world. So let's say your girlfriend of 1.5 years puts on a sexy piece of lingerie and entertains you, would that be enough of a "gift" for your anniversary? Thanks...
A. 12 April 2011: I'm sure I speak for all men, why I say "YES"! Have a good time.... (read in full...)
Is there a problem with this age difference?
Q. Honestly is the a problem dating a 28yrs woman if you are 21yrs old man. We both love each other a lot. ...
A. 12 April 2011: None whatsoever. I'm 23 and am dating a woman in her 30's. So long as you're mature enough for her, and you both love each other, then do what you want. ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong of me not to be happy that my married lover had a baby with his wife?
Q. My lover just had another baby with his wife. I am very sad and disappointed about this. Is this normal? I love the guy so much and he loves me too. We have been together for two years and has been married for three years. I have always respected ...
A. 11 April 2011: No he doesn't love you. Not even close. Far from it. When are you going to wake up and realize you are allowing him to walk all over you? How much longer will you sit back and be nothing to someone who doesn't care.
I agree with based51 - this is a... (read in full...)
Is sex something worth breaking up over?
Q. Heyyy. I'm graduating from high school next month. My boyfriend and I aren't sexually active. But lately he's been saying that he doesn't want to be a virgin when he starts college. (I honestly don't understand the rush.) But he knows where I stand ...
A. 10 April 2011: I think if all he is interested in is losing his virginity, then clearing off to college, it's worth breaking up with him. Thing is, it's not sex that you'll break up over. It's his feelings. And his feelings aren't really deep enough, caring e... (read in full...)
Everytime I try to break up, he threatens suicide...
Q. Hello, Well I'm a 22 year old female and I've been in a relationship now for two years, but finding problems with the relationship. He isn't violent or a bad person which is why it's difficult to break up with him, but I feel trapped and want to...
A. 10 April 2011: Just up sticks and leave him. This is abuse on his part, and you should walk away. If he does do something to himself, it's because he wants to do it, not because you have anything to do with it. If it was another girl, he'd do the same thing. You ... (read in full...)
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