A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello,Well I'm a 22 year old female and I've been in a relationship now for two years, but finding problems with the relationship.He isn't violent or a bad person which is why it's difficult to break up with him, but I feel trapped and want to be free. I've tried to break up with him before on many occasions, in person (where he will stop me leaving, cry uncontrollably and threaten to kill himself) and on the phone (also crying uncontrollably and threatening to kill himself). Every time it happens I worry he will commit suicide so I'm blackmailed into being with him again as I do care very much for him (he has even once put himself into hospital due to an overdose when I broke up with him once, and once before me was even institutionalised for trying to commit suicide so he may actualy be capable of doing it). I'm constantly thinking about breaking up with him and it tears me apart when he talks about our future as I know I do not want a future with him.Can anyone assist with this? I do love him but I dont think I am "in love" with him anymore which is one of the reasons I dont want to be with him.Regards,M.
View related questions:
broke up, trapped, violent Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2011): Call his parents, fill them in, tell them you're dumping him in 24 hours and let them take care of him. Then get this guy out of your life.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2011): I couldn't agree more with Caring Guy. People who threaten suicide make me furious...it is the height of manipulation. I think he needs to know this. Try saying something along the lines of:"I care for you, but this relationship is unhealthy because I'm starting to care for you only out of fear. I would like to care for you for other reasons, but your suicide threats pretty much make that impossible.Obviously, I don't want you to die, but if you choose to kill yourself, it's your choice... I refuse to feel guilty about your belief that your life isn't worth living. Why should your belief in your worthlessness hinge on me? It doesn't mean your death wouldn't upset me or hurt me...but if you decide to kill yourself, that's what you're choosing to die for: to hurt me and other people who love you.Personally, I think your life IS worth living, even without me. But the way you treat me, I'm starting to feel more like a lifeguard rather than a girlfriend, and I'm deeply unhappy about that."You need to leave him so he can sort out his emotional problems with psychological help. He's asking far too much of you.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (10 April 2011):
Just up sticks and leave him. This is abuse on his part, and you should walk away. If he does do something to himself, it's because he wants to do it, not because you have anything to do with it. If it was another girl, he'd do the same thing. You must walk away and never look back. Walk away, and if you are worried contact a doctor or police about his behaviour.
...............................
|
