A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok... so I'm in a long distance realtionship with my boyfriend. We've been together for three years now and I'm actually kind of getting bored. I'm 23 years old, I love him, respect and cherish him. However he is not here, where I need him. LDR just gets the worst of me and I hate it. This weekend I went out with a guy friend for whom I was not attracted to.. until later that night. He knows I have a boyfriend, and althought we are not close friends we still went out. we spend all day together having fun, with other friends too. Late at night we ended up back at my place, after many drinks... and I dont have to type out the rest. Meanwhile my boyfriend was calling, it was very annoying. We have talked about having an open relationship and its kind of obvious every once in a while we have our flings, although we do not talk about it. Anyway, i spent the night with this guy and had the most amazing sex I've had in ages. It was truly amazing. He even said it himself. Next day we had breakfast, and I left cause I started to feel a bit weird.I haven't heard from him, but he said many amazing things that night and we cuddled and it felt different from just one night stand. This is the first time I've had a sexual encounter, the first time i have actually been "unfaithful" this way. I want to break up with my boyfriend, however not because of the other man, but because its just not working. I don't even feel guilty.Is the other guy not contacting me because he knows I'm in a relationship? What will he think if I contact him? Does he think I'm a slut? I'm dying to see him again. Btw i havent seen my guy in two months.I've been with tickles in my stomach and weak in my knees, something I haven't felt in a long time. Im not sure what is the right decision.... please help! any advice and opinion is welcome
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (13 April 2011):
 Leave your boyfriend. You are long distance, and somewhat in an open relationship as well. Sounds like you experience the relationship as a chain around your ankle, and not something you get energy and support from. You don't gain anything from the relationship, and pretty much have yourself a friendship with a man who annoys you when he calls late and you are busy having sex. Sounds like a friend you think calls too much.
End it.
As for the other guy, who knows. I can't say he wont think you are a slut as you slept together without a commitment, but then again he did have sex with you as well so who is he to judge. It's just likely that he won't be interested in more than sex, because he knew you had a boyfriend yet didn't mind.. doing the deed. If he was actually interested in you or cared for you he'd wait until you were single.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2011): Wow. You don't even feel guilty. It's deceitful to cheat on someone... I guess nobody has ever done that to you and you either don't know or don't care how awful that feels.
If you are so unhappy, then the honest thing to do is to end the relationship before moving on with someone else. I never understood why people cheat. If you are so unhappy, then break up and go where you think is so much better. You will learn some things about life and yourself. That grass sure isn't always as green as it looks and I think it's awful that it doesn't bother you to deceive someone who most likely cares about you. I hope some day you know what I mean.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (12 April 2011):
First of all, do end the LDR. It's a massive failure, and the truth is neither of you really love or respect each other, because if you did you'd not be cheating and feeling good about it. It's become clear that your relationship is over, and you really need to move on from it.
As for this other guy, I don't think he was interested in anything other than sex. That's the reason he's not contacted you - he got what he wanted and moved on. Does he think you're a slut? Don't know. All I know is that if he was interested in more, he'd have contacted you by now.
I think you need to break up with your boyfriend, and spend some time alone working out what you want.
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