A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:ive gotten myself in a bind! help! ok,im a 28 yr old single mom who lives by herself. i have a friend,same age as me,whom we've been friends since middle school. she's single with no children. she's recently come upon hard times and had to move out of her apt. she moved in with one of her friends and the deal is she stays with her for two or three months till she gets back on her feet then she gets her own place again. her friend decided today that she wants to move to another state for job opportunities since she's laid off momentarily and living on unemployment. my friend asked me today could she come stay with me since her friend is moving. the thing is, im very particular how i keep my house and i love living by myself. im so used to it. she's not the greatest when it comes to keeping a clean house but she'll have nowhere to go once her friend moves. what do i do? tell her no, or let her stay?
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female
reader, Adelaide's Agony Aunt  +, writes (16 April 2011):
Dear 26-29;I see your dilemma. An easy way to get an answer for yourself to something that is confusing is to put it to your self this way: what would I regret about this decision? Given that none of us want to look back on regrets in our lives this avoids that.So would you regret having your friend at the house and why? or would you regret not having your friend at the house and why? Waying it up this way to yourself should help.If you decide not to have your friend at the house think of how you would like this news broken to you in the reverse situation to know what to say to her. The sandwich approach is good: posiive statement, the decision then positive statement again eg. you know I love you very much and I really understand what you are going through but I just couldn't manage it on top of the kids, I'm really sorry I hope you can understand my situation. If she is a true friend she will understand.Good luck, Adelaide's Agony Aunt.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (16 April 2011):
Forgetting how she keeps the house, how is she with kids, and more importantly would you realistically be able to cope with someone being there knowing that you're a mother and you have a child/children to look after?
I would be more concerned that this might upset your children's routine, rather than the way you keep the house. Children aren't great at having routine's changed, and if you effectively have a lodger living with you, they might become uncomfortable.
If you can realistically cope, I'd say be there for your friend, but set a very serious time limit. But, if you're a mother, can you and your children handle having an 'extra' in the house?
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