| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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Fiance doesn't move during sex!
Q. When my Fiance and I have sex and he goes to put it in he just lays there instead of going in and out or moving it around, it's almost like he is Dead, my Question is why does he do that?? He has told me he likes to feel the warmth that's why he ...
A. 27 April 2011: Either he doesn't know what he's supposed to be doing, is nervous, or is lazy. Whatever the reason, it's pretty clear that he needs to change his method. I think you two need to spend time experimenting. ... (read in full...)
She's too nice to break up with my friend but likes me better!
Q. Im 13 years old and i like this girl. I said i would be her best friend just to get closer to her. She has a boyfriend that is one of my good friends but she clearly likes me better. Shes too nice to break up with him so what do i do?...
A. 27 April 2011: The fact is, she clearly likes her boyfriend better of she would end it. I think you might well be labouring under a misunderstanding here. You'd be better off pulling away and letting her get on with it. If she liked you that much, she would have ... (read in full...)
Why don't I want to kiss this guy?
Q. What does it mean if I don't feel like kissing a guy? I have a strange situation: I am physically attracted to a guy, and he says he likes me a lot. But,I don't feel like being intimate with him at all. I feel like he's not at my same intellectual ...
A. 27 April 2011: If you don't fancy someone, you just don't fancy them. There's nothing wrong with you or anything, but in truth he's just not the one. He might be a nice guy, but you can't force feelings and there has to be more to a relationship than just being ... (read in full...)
Why does he show affection and then say he doesn't want a relationship?
Q. This lad says he loves me and want to be with me we hold hands and he puts his arm around my waste and then says I dont want a relationship right now whats going on???...
A. 26 April 2011: Sounds to me like he's trying to get into your pants really. You probably need to avoid him really. ... (read in full...)
She told me that her ex's looked better than mine??
Q. Quick question for the guys. And unfortunately this has happened to me so thats why im asking. What would you do if you recently started dating a girl that you really liked and she really liked you back and during a conversation she told you that ...
A. 26 April 2011: So ditch her. She's not worth the hassle. ... (read in full...)
How should my friend go about having a relationship with a younger man?
Q. dear cupid, my girlfriend does not have a computer and she needs some good advice. she is single 42, and the younger guys seen to be attracted to her. from 22 to 34. she wanted to no if that is ok.? she is seeing a 27 year old right now. he has a ...
A. 26 April 2011: I'm dating an older woman, and I have to say that like Dirtball, I am sceptical as to whether the relationship (if we can even call it that) between your friend and her guy will go further.
It sounds to me like he's only interested in sex, and sadl... (read in full...)
She told me that her ex's looked better than mine??
Q. Quick question for the guys. And unfortunately this has happened to me so thats why im asking. What would you do if you recently started dating a girl that you really liked and she really liked you back and during a conversation she told you that ...
A. 26 April 2011: I'd throw her over. I just don't have time for that level of pathetic immaturity. And let me tell you - dumping people who have been immature has always served me well. ... (read in full...)
He wont reverse his vasectomy, and now I am thinking of divorcing him for not keeping up his end of our agreement.....
Q. My husband and I had a happy marriage over the past year, but now it’s all gone downhill fast. We had decided before the wedding to start our family in our second year of marriage (which is this year). However he had a vasectomy after his first ...
A. 26 April 2011: You have unfortunately wasted your time entirely.
From a male point of view, a vasectomy is a pretty final operation. There's next to no chance that it can really be reversed, and even of it could be reversed, the fact he had it done in the firs... (read in full...)
Am I making too much of this dream?
Q. What could it mean if I dreamed that my boyfriend gave me a promise ring. Which I wore next to my purity ring. However when I went to go show everyone, my purity ring was replaced by a engagement but it was fake. So I was wearing a "real" promise...
A. 26 April 2011: It means nothing really. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has no feelings toward his ex at all, is this normal?
Q. My partner says he is over his ex. He has no photos. no mementos, does not speak to her, does not email her, and he has often said (on me asking) that he never thinks about her. Also, when she does come up (I bring her up btw) he is usually negative ...
A. 25 April 2011: He's completely over her. This is how I feel about my ex's, and it's the best place to be in. No anger, no resentment, no so called 'unfinished business' or anything.
Feeling this way is the only true test as to whether you're over an ex, or at l... (read in full...)
Found out bf belongs to 3 different Internet sex sites. How should I handle this?
Q. I have recently discovered that my boyfriend is joined to two or three different internet sex sites where he can search for women in the same area as him to meet up and have sex with them :/ I don't know if he has ever actually used it or met up ...
A. 25 April 2011: On-the-spot-dumping. Seriously, given this and the drug problem, you'd be better losing him now that being in one of those "we told you so" situations later on. ... (read in full...)
I feel like he choose the weed over me. He's losing me and doesn't seem to care!
Q. I am not a weed smoker, but my hb does. He is one person when he smokes, and different when he doesn't. I didn't know that he likes weed when we were dating, I never saw that before, but when we got married he start to smoke in the house. At the f...
A. 22 April 2011: I have a dreadful feeling that you married a complete loser. Seriously, a man who chooses to smoke grass over actually doing things with his wife has problems. Maybe you need to consider whether this marriage is worth bothering about. He doesn't ... (read in full...)
Married lover says he can't move because of his kids. Do I walk?
Q. l have being seing a married guy for nearly a year who lives 400 miles away and who still sleeps with his wife but they dont have sex we talk every day and text all the time . We have met up four times and slept together on two occasions x he says ...
A. 21 April 2011: Yes. ... (read in full...)
Ex and I would have been together 4 years. should I acknowledge it to him?
Q. hi my name is julissa, me and my ex boyfriend recently broke up about a 1mth agao. Today (04-21-2011) would've been our 4yr anniversary. I dnt know if its a good idea for me to call or text him? or what to say? I wanted to write him something nice ...
A. 21 April 2011: He is now an ex boyfriend. Leave him in the past, where he belongs. ... (read in full...)
My wife admitted she cheated on me when we were engaged!
Q. Hi, my wife of 6 years just confessed to me that she cheated on me while we where engaged, she said it was a one time mistake and has being faithfull since then. Am hurt and am thinking of divorce. How can i trust her again?...
A. 21 April 2011: I agree with those that have mentioned the 6 year waiting period. Why has she told you this late on?... (read in full...)
His ex knows things about me only my boyfriend knows, is he still seeing her?
Q. Hi. Recently I've been gone through a lot of dumb stuff with my boyfriend.. we broke up 3 times already but next day we just get together 'cause there is something in the relationship that just keeps us together.. But recently his ex(they was t...
A. 21 April 2011: But all the apologies are meaningless if you two can't work it out without breaking up. To be honest, it just seems like he treats you as he pleases, and you allow it. A relationship doesn't work this way, and all you do is make it worse for ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend was on a dating site and he wanted to meet "me"!
Q. I receently had a tip off that my boyfriend has a profile on a dating site. The profile had pictures on it taken a few months ago and we've been together for nearly a year. I pretended to be someone else and got in contact. He replied and agreeed ...
A. 21 April 2011: The moment you have to fake a profile to find out the truth, you know it's the end of that relationship. Dump this one and move on. ... (read in full...)
Does he like me?
Q. okay so i have rumors that this hottie vwith the body likes me all his best friends saying that he does. I really like him, but he's a total player. We barely talk and yeah. Is their a chance ? Apparently he has a thing with this girl, but his ...
A. 21 April 2011: Don't go near him. Players have things for a lot of women, and ultimately all they collect is notches in the bedpost. You'll be the one left nursing a broken heart. Have nothing to do with him. ... (read in full...)
His ex knows things about me only my boyfriend knows, is he still seeing her?
Q. Hi. Recently I've been gone through a lot of dumb stuff with my boyfriend.. we broke up 3 times already but next day we just get together 'cause there is something in the relationship that just keeps us together.. But recently his ex(they was t...
A. 21 April 2011: Exactly what Dirtball says. He knows because he tells her, and it's become clear that you're two people who shouldn't be together. A couple that truly love each other, respect each other and are mature together do not break up over and over again. ... (read in full...)
Does this mean he has a crush on me?
Q. If a teenage boy (about 14) flirts with you and teases you, does it mean that he has a crush on you?...
A. 17 April 2011: You wouldn't know for sure unless you asked him, but the chances are that he does have a crush on you. ... (read in full...)
I want a boyfriend thats a gentleman but where are they?
Q. Hey! This might not be the most unusual question, but help would be greatly appreciated! Alrighty, so I'm a freshman in Highschool, and I don't find any of the guys in my whole school..attractive. They're always screaming down the halls, throwing...
A. 17 April 2011: They'll be waiting for you in a few more years. They really will. Teenage boys have never been that great when it comes to maturity. Whatever people have said about the 30's, there were plenty of young men who weren't gentlemen then either. You ... (read in full...)
Deep feelings for a married man and no longer love my own husband.
Q. This is my first time on this forum so here goes. I have deep feelings for a married man. I am married. We both have young children. I see him often as our children socialize together. I have had these feelings for him for over a year now and I k...
A. 17 April 2011: I am going to tell you to cut contact and work on your marriage. Here's why:
1 - You owe it to your young children to make a go of giving them a solid family. No disrespect to very hard working single parents, but it is a known fact that chil... (read in full...)
She told me God was telling her things wouldn't work out!!!
Q. My girlfriend n I have been going out for about 4 months now. Everything was going great, we both were happy n life couldn’t have been much better. About 2 weeks ago she told me "she thinks she loves me" n that "I am perfect for her." She was crazy ...
A. 17 April 2011: Two words - move on.
Not because she believes in God, but because she's using it against you and keeping you around like a spare tyre. I don't trust people like that. ... (read in full...)
I don't know who the father is
Q. I am pregnant (8weeks), and there is a possible of 3 people who could be the father. I went to a party and had sex with a mate. The next morning I, again had sex with another bloke (random this time). The next day me and my bf had unprotected sex ...
A. 17 April 2011: Yes, you could have an STD. You need to make an appointment to see a doctor ASAP to get tested, and also to get advice on your pregnancy.
Also, when the baby arrives (if you decide to keep it), you'll need to DNA test all three men to check who ... (read in full...)
She wants to gain my attention by making me jealous!
Q. i am absolutely in love with a girl for a year now, we used to be kind of friends before....she knew this and i didnt get her attention alot after this... she is generally very nice, but for some reason wants to gain my attention by making me jea...
A. 17 April 2011: Don't waste your time on her. She's an attention seeker, nothing more. ... (read in full...)
What is the point of "adding" friends and contacts if you don't communicate with them?
Q. I really don't understand social interaction - or I'm sceptic about it. I have a blackberry, and I do have contacts on blackberry messenger. However I know If I don't message, then the others wouldn't. They'll only message if they need something. ...
A. 17 April 2011: This is why I don't bother with facebook and all that stuff. It's all fake in the end. Meaningless. I wouldn't worry too much about it. All you need to do for your life is make sure you don't live in facebook.... (read in full...)
After everything, should I get back with my ex?
Q. About a year and a half ago my girlfriend of 2 years at the time began to develop on eating disorder. She works as an actress so had slot of pressure on her to look a certain. At first I told her she didn't need to and tried to stop her. It seemed ...
A. 17 April 2011: Well, first of all you shouldn't do anything. It's not about whether you should go back with her, it's about whether you want to go back with her. So the first question is do you want to get back with her? Secondly, as you'll see from most of my ... (read in full...)
I don't wish to continue in this triangle, will he leave his family to be with me?
Q. Hi , I have had a relationship for three years with a married man who still lives with his wife and has a disabled son age 25 . The Man I have been seeing has had two affairs in the past that his wife became aware of and tolerated . I really t...
A. 17 April 2011: He will absolutely not leave his family for you. Ever. In general, there is a, 11-12% chance of a married man leaving his wife and children for a mistress. In your case, this man has a wife and disabled son to look after, so he won't leave at all. ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't he end it with me?
Q. hello everyone. . Can you give me some advise please? My boyfriend of five years is very down and i want to help however it seems i am the onlY person that he gets nasty and up tight with. If i was down he wouldn give two hoots but yet its a massive ...
A. 17 April 2011: Being divorced before is all the more reason for you to end this before it goes further. The longer you hang around taking his abuse, the more you will miss out on the rest of your life. A relationship can't work if only one person is trying at it. ... (read in full...)
What do I do next? He treats me like a kid, not his GF. I turn off when he speaks badly to me.
Q. Hey guys, well i am still with my ex, we broke up but he said he would try for our relationship, if you read my other question.....well things are going better, but he still treats me like a kid. He never ever talks to me like a adult. i had too ge...
A. 17 April 2011: And there you have it, sadly. He's a total moron and a loser through and through. Promise yourself that from now on, you won't date complete idiots! In return, I'll promise you that there are millions of better, maturer guys out there who will treat ... (read in full...)
I've messed up badly, but now I want the guy I can't have..
Q. I've been married for almost four years now. My husband stopped having sex with me since the first few months of our marriage. Since then, we have sex once or twice (a year), literally. We have a twenty month old (apparently we're both very fertile ...
A. 17 April 2011: My advice to you is get a divorce, and spend a lot of time alone working out what you want from life. Your husband isn't the man for you, and this other guy won't come back. You need to be alone, and you need to start over elsewhere with a new job,... (read in full...)
I don't like how my partner is treating our child..
Q. hi all, im 29 years old, got a little girl who i love more than anyone (14 months old) sometimes this is the problem with me and my girlfriend of 3 years. i dont look at her in the same way anymore. not because i dont fancy her or some...
A. 17 April 2011: Your girlfriend needs psychological help, fast. And you need to speak to doctors about her behaviour, and what you can do to protect your child. Your daughter has to come first, so get to it and speak to a doctor, and perhaps also a solicitor if ... (read in full...)
Love don't live here anymore
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together for 9yrs.We have 4 boys, but i know i dont love him in that way anymore. He says he still loves me, but yet he cheated on me? I know he stays for income reasons, he has none. Is it wrong and selfish that i want ...
A. 17 April 2011: You would most definitely need to speak to a lawyer. You can't force him to leave the house (legally that's where you stand), but you can make plans to either move out yourself, set budgets (if he doesn't earn money, you can set allowances and ... (read in full...)
I don't want to hurt him like I was hurt. How should I do it?
Q. Okay here goes, I'm 16 in a couple of weeks, I am in love with a 20 year old. I'm from the UK so it's perfectly legal when i turn 16. Anyway about 6 months ago i told him i liked him and he just kinda didnt really say he didnt like me but he didnt ...
A. 17 April 2011: Believe me, it's better to end it now, rather than later when he really will feel pain. End it now, move on.... (read in full...)
When I said I wanted to end the 'benefits' part, I didn't mean I didn't want to be friends!
Q. I recently decided that I did not want to be friends with benefits with this guy I've known for 5 years. The last time we saw each other we got into a little argument Here is what I said, after the argument: I am sorry about the other day, and...
A. 17 April 2011: You weren't just friends though - you were two people having sex. You'd gone beyond being friends, and when you do that you have to accept that things can't just go back to what they were.
He is acting this way, because for him there is now noth... (read in full...)
Is it wrong if my boy friend is 8 months younger than me?
Q. im 14 and my boyfriend is 8 months younger than me people keep saying that its wrong because im older insted of the guy is it?...
A. 17 April 2011: My girlfriend is years older than me. I don't think there's a problem with that.
If your boyfriend is only 8 months younger, eve at your age I don't see that as a problem. ... (read in full...)
Should I ask this teacher for help after what's happened in the past?
Q. hey so... i have a teacher he's 43 and we used to flirt on all the time we had a confusing relationship one minute we were nice, next not but since about a year ago he removed me from his lessons in the meeting he said i was out his lessons and beca...
A. 17 April 2011: He had you removed - therefore whatever was going on was very, very bad. Most likely others saw that you fancied him and told him to have you removed.
In other words - stay away unless you really want to screw up your GCSE's. Next time they'll have... (read in full...)
Why doesn't he end it with me?
Q. hello everyone. . Can you give me some advise please? My boyfriend of five years is very down and i want to help however it seems i am the onlY person that he gets nasty and up tight with. If i was down he wouldn give two hoots but yet its a massive ...
A. 17 April 2011: Because you accept it. He can do whatever he wants to you, and you'll let him get away with it. And he'll continue to do it, unless you step up and end it with him. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is awful at oral sex!! How do I tell him this without hurting him??
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for nearly 2years. i truely love him.but he's awful at oral sex. I don't know how to tell him this without hurting him. What should I do?...
A. 17 April 2011: Don't tell him what he's bad at - just tell him what to do. ... (read in full...)
We were going to start seeing each other again. I went off for 7 weeks, and now he is ignoring me!
Q. Hi All, Your opinions pls!! I have been in regular contact with my ex until recently. He said he wanted us to start seeing each other again (he works funny hours) and said we could see each other during the days when I get some time off. I was like ...
A. 16 April 2011: You disappeared for 7 weeks and didn't contact him. That would be enough for me to end contact too, especially if you were seeing another man (he may have found that out.)
What you two had is over, and the time has come for you two to move on. Neit... (read in full...)
How much to shave.
Q. I'm new to sex and everything and i wanted to know do i shave it all off keep some? i would ask my boyfriend but its embarrassing and i dont know what to do! ...
A. 16 April 2011: I would agree with Odds - if this is something you can't discuss with your boyfriend, then you need to ask whether you're ready for sex.
Men aren't all the same, and your boyfriend will know what he wants. So speak to him.
... (read in full...)
What do I do next? He treats me like a kid, not his GF. I turn off when he speaks badly to me.
Q. Hey guys, well i am still with my ex, we broke up but he said he would try for our relationship, if you read my other question.....well things are going better, but he still treats me like a kid. He never ever talks to me like a adult. i had too ge...
A. 16 April 2011: If you don't want to end it, then you are making the decision to accept this treatment, and you don't have the right to moan about it. He won't change, so either you leave or you start putting up with it. That's your choice. ... (read in full...)
What do I do next? He treats me like a kid, not his GF. I turn off when he speaks badly to me.
Q. Hey guys, well i am still with my ex, we broke up but he said he would try for our relationship, if you read my other question.....well things are going better, but he still treats me like a kid. He never ever talks to me like a adult. i had too ge...
A. 16 April 2011: So, in other words, he's not changed at all and isn't really making any effort. I really, really think you need to end it. ... (read in full...)
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