| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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Everytime I try to break up, he threatens suicide...
Q. Hello, Well I'm a 22 year old female and I've been in a relationship now for two years, but finding problems with the relationship. He isn't violent or a bad person which is why it's difficult to break up with him, but I feel trapped and want to...
A. 10 April 2011: Just up sticks and leave him. This is abuse on his part, and you should walk away. If he does do something to himself, it's because he wants to do it, not because you have anything to do with it. If it was another girl, he'd do the same thing. You ... (read in full...)
Is there any way I can get through to my ex that my behavior was related to the deaths of my family members?
Q. Hi everyone. So I have a quick question about my recent break up. My ex and I dated for 16 months and had a great relationship but had the occasional big argument. The arguments would get pretty out of control but were mostly caused by my ...
A. 9 April 2011: You can always tell someone's true character at just two times - 1 is on their deathbed, the other is under immense emotional stress (truly very rare). How someone responds at these times gives a clear indication of who they are.
1 - You, for exam... (read in full...)
How do I get this boy to like me?
Q. Okay, there is this guy I'm in love with, but he doesn't even like me that way. We used to be really close friends until another girl told him I liked him a lot. He told my friend that he liked me a little but not after that. He is really funny and ...
A. 9 April 2011: What the magazines don't tell you, is the sad truth that sometimes someone just doesn't feel the same way and there is nothing you can do about it. The magazines and the world set you up to succeed, but never to fail.
I'm afraid this guy just does... (read in full...)
I asked him to wear a condom and he was "offended" that I didnt trust him! Now he doesn't want the relationship anymore!!
Q. I first met this guy in summer school...i didn't have any classes with him...but from the very beginning he started showing signs of interest...afterwards I think it was in September when he added me on face book...he kept on commenting on my posts ...
A. 9 April 2011: That God you found out he was a loses who just wanted to get into your pants before anything happened. He's not a decent guy or a gentleman. He's just a guy who wants to sow his oats as he pleases. Oh, and his last message was emotional blackmail, ... (read in full...)
I'm being pressurized into marriage because my GF whom I never really loved, got pregnant and had our baby, by lying to me about using birth control..
Q. Hello. I am in a spot of bother. I had been going out with a girl long distance for about a year, we moved in together and I was pretty sure then that it wasn't true love. After about 6 months, when she was telling me she was taking contra...
A. 9 April 2011: DO NOT GET MARRIED - YOU ARE BEING TRAPPED AGAIN.
She is going to marry you, so she can get her hands on half your assets, then divorce you and walk away anyway. How do I know? Because this dreadful woman has already lied before and is now usin... (read in full...)
Can I trust my bf again after he's cheated twice before? If so, how?
Q. Hello, I have been dating a guy off and on for about 3 years. Hes my absolute best friend and the love of my life. But, I have major trust issues with him when it comes to cheating and such. We've dated 3 times (this time being our third) and the ...
A. 9 April 2011: I wouldn't trust him at all. He's done it twice already. He'll do it again. I don't think he has the mental maturity yet to be in a relationship.... (read in full...)
Should I be upset that my gf keeps giving out her phone number to guys who clearly like her?
Q. So me and my new girlfriend have been together for 6 months. I'm 25 and she's 20. Things were going really well or so I thought...we started having problems when she started talking to guys and giving her phone number to them, usually on the bus ...
A. 9 April 2011: It think your female friends are right. This is sketchy behaviour. There's no problem with her having male friends - she's allowed them like you have those two female friends. But when she's accepting numbers and not making it clear that she's in a ... (read in full...)
Will my strange body movements during an orgasm turn off a guy?
Q. This is kind of an embarrassing question for me. I haven't had sex in my relationships yet, but when I'm on my own (meaning masturbating) I feel that when I orgasm I squirm too much up until when I arch my back becoming stiff, and my lower body ...
A. 9 April 2011: I think you'll find that most women in their moment of ecstasy find themselves rolling around or tensing! And no, it's not unattractive and weird or anything like that - actually it's pretty damned hot!... (read in full...)
It's over, but he calls about five times a day. Is this harassment?
Q. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 7 years. We have a 3 year old daughter together, so obviously we keep in touch. He sees my daughter on weekends. I'm getting constant calls of him. My mum says I'm over-reacting but I don't think I am, I'm ...
A. 7 April 2011: Calls about what? Because depending on what they are depends on how any judge or law maker will interpret it.... (read in full...)
He was jealous and possessive, but says he's changed. Should I risk going back?
Q. I hope there is someone out there who can help me. I have been dating this guy for almost three years I love him so much. We recently broke up because he is extremely jealous and possessive and things seemed to get worse. Since the break up he has ...
A. 7 April 2011: Of course he's not changed. The proof is that he constantly rings you now telling you that he's changed - i.e. he still can't let you go and still hassles and controls you. He's not changed at all, and it will take him years before he is someone who ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and his sons always pick on my mentally handicapped son
Q. I have a boy friend whom has 2 boys.. I have 3 young children my self... My boyfriend hates my oldest son and him and his boys always yells at my son and picks on him cause hes mentally hanidcap... What do i do ? Do i leave my boyfriend?...
A. 7 April 2011: Yes. Leave. ... (read in full...)
Don't want to hurt my brother but I want to get my sister in law into bed
Q. i need help for years i`ve had a sexual attraction to my sister in law and hurting my brother is the last thing i want to do but this sexual attraction is really strong i really want to get her in bed what should i do?...
A. 6 April 2011: You're the waste of time, not us. Get some balls and grow up and stop ogling your brother's (a real man, unlike you) sister. ... (read in full...)
Her excuse for sleeping with my brother is that she thought it was me! Should I believe her?
Q. A few days ago my twin brother and I had our birthday party at our apartment. Our girlfriends were at the party with a few friends. We had quite a bit of different kind of liquor. Then I guess I passed out. In the morning, my brother's girlfriend ...
A. 5 April 2011: She's a liar. Dump her. I wouldn't have too much to do with your brother either. ... (read in full...)
He has not had a job in the 9 years we have been together! Will he ever change?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together 9 years, he never had a job in 9 years, only 2 times he had a job for like a month each job.. I m a dancer so more money is not necesary to live well, but it is necesary because all he cares about is to play ...
A. 5 April 2011: Your boyfriend is a loser. Get rid of him. ... (read in full...)
Pregnant by an ex lover when I was supposed to be working on my marriage with my husband....what should I do?
Q. Well please dont judge me, I made an horrible bad decision, and im hurting trendmendously. Separated from husband over an year ago. Had sex with and ex lover and now Im pregnant. Husband and I were suppose to be working on us and I sliped up bad, ...
A. 5 April 2011: You have no choice but to face up and tell your husband. He must be allowed to make his own decision as to what happens with your marriage. In the world we now live in, it's not even as if you can fake it all, because at some point something would ... (read in full...)
He can't understand I only want to be friends with him what should I do?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am currently dating someone and I cold be happier I'm crazy about him but I still have a guy friend of mine still pawing at me I tried telling him and sending hints but still as soon as i starting seeing mt boyfriend he's been asking ...
A. 5 April 2011: Perhaps you need to cut the friend out of your life. He's not a real friend if he has so little respect for what you have that he's always trying to steal you away. That's one of those bad guys you need to get rid of. ... (read in full...)
Now I have a boyfriend, my ex FWB tells me he's jealous?
Q. I've had a fwb type situation going on with this guy for about 3 years now. Not going to lie, I felt deeply for him and probably always will, and despite him wanting to keep things very casual I know that he felt something for me too. I started ...
A. 5 April 2011: I don't think that your ex FWB gives a damn about you, actually. I think he's just out to wreck your relationship because your new guy offers everything that he can't, and because he wants you to be offering yourself on a plate. This has nothing to ... (read in full...)
We can't see each other because her grandmother is strict
Q. i got a girlfriend that loves me and i love her back but we cant see each other or be together because the grandma is strict. but i still wanna make it work what should i do ...
A. 5 April 2011: If she's over 18 and able to make her own decisions, then she should be making her own feelings heard with her grandmother. If she can't or won't stand up to her grandmother, then she isn't ready for a relationship and you'd only waste time waiting ... (read in full...)
How can I get my boyfriend to listen to me?
Q. hi every one, please could you give me some advice? My boyfriend and i have been together over three years and i love him very much. He has suffered from depression in the past and over the years has left me several times onlx to realise and come ...
A. 5 April 2011: You know, there is a point where you need to stop allowing yourself to be treated like a doormat, and you are right there. Your whole post screams of a woman who is, perhaps, glossing over the fact that her boyfriend is actually a cruel control ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend cheated on me and I can't get over it
Q. My girlfriend cheated on me months back and I can't seem to get over it. We were living together and things had started getting really rocky. We were fighting bitterly all day every day. I felt her distance herself from me, and rather than give...
A. 5 April 2011: Dump her. She had her chance, and has failed miserably. She is worthless to you and the rest of your life. She will always be a failure, a cheat and a liar. ... (read in full...)
FWB no longer interested?
Q. So im in a nsa friends with benefits situation (for about 2 months). Things are going well and im happy with the arrangement. We normally text every day about random things/how are days are going etc and usually meet up once or twice a week. For the ...
A. 5 April 2011: Why are you seeing someone who is already a relationship? Does that not in itself answer your question? You were used, and probably he's no longer bothered by you at all. Perhaps instead of worrying about him and his feelings, you need to worry ab... (read in full...)
A young, troubled guy, already.
Q. I have a question that has been on my mind for a little bit now, well, a few questions that is. 1. Why don't I really care for females anymore? I've only ever had three relationships, 2 being more than a month, one being two years. The longer ...
A. 5 April 2011: I would say that you have four problems. 1 - You seem to choose girls who are not suitable, or who you haven't got to know properly. You have the problem that you put women on a pedestal, even though there are signs that things might go wrong. D... (read in full...)
How can I track my boyfriend's online activity?
Q. How can I track my boyfriend online to what sites he is on when we live separately?...
A. 4 April 2011: On your own computer, you can use keyloging spy software if you are that insecure. HOWEVER, if you are at that point, and he is treating you badly, then you'd be better off ending it rather than wasting time. ... (read in full...)
BF says I should be okay that he goes on trips alone with former lovers. What should I say?
Q. I hate rules in a relationship and I trust my boyfriend very much, and trust that he wont ever cheat. But he enjoys to go on alone trips with other female friends of his, where they will sleep together in a small tent (shoulder to shoulder) or be ...
A. 3 April 2011: But he's not devoted to you emotionally really, is he? He was in love with this woman, and is going away with her. His response to your concerns is effectively "get used to it". This isn't normal. ... (read in full...)
BF says I should be okay that he goes on trips alone with former lovers. What should I say?
Q. I hate rules in a relationship and I trust my boyfriend very much, and trust that he wont ever cheat. But he enjoys to go on alone trips with other female friends of his, where they will sleep together in a small tent (shoulder to shoulder) or be ...
A. 3 April 2011: Okay, I'll dive in and just say that you'd be INSANE to go out with this guy. He collects women. You're just another one in the collection. I'm not naturally a paranoid, mistrusting person. But even I would make a run for it if my girlfriend was ... (read in full...)
Has anyone else felt like the ugliest, wherever they are?
Q. I have always been the ugliest everywhere. In family, school, college, everywhere. Neither am I very intelligent. This has led to a low self esteem. I have made peace with the fact that I am really ugly. My question is has anyone ever been through ...
A. 3 April 2011: My mother has. Doesn't matter what anyone says, she believes that she's stupid and ugly and everyone hates her. It's had a bad effect on my and my siblings.
My advice? Get yourself some psychological counselling, or people around you will be hurt... (read in full...)
My boyfriend smells down there. Why, is this normal, and can it be changed?
Q. Before i start, im a girl, im 16, i have been with my boyfriend now for four months and i am really happy with the way things are going but here it goes... So, my boyfriend is a year older than me, he isn't very experienced, I am the first girl h...
A. 3 April 2011: What Cerberus says. ... (read in full...)
How can I track my boyfriend's online activity?
Q. How can I track my boyfriend online to what sites he is on when we live separately?...
A. 3 April 2011: More to the point, why do you want to? Your own insecurity, in which case you need to deal with that? Or has he cheated or something?
And please bear in mind that whatever anyone says, it is illegal to hack into someone else's computer.
... (read in full...)
My family hates my boyfriend and is making me choose between them and him. What should I do?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for over 3 yrs and have 2 children with him. We recently split as my family don't like him and make it difficult, he isn't perfect but he is not all bad. I want to give us another go and so does he but my family have ...
A. 3 April 2011: OP, with the greatest of respect, if your family are that against the father of your children, something is very, very wrong and you need to listen to what they have to say. ... (read in full...)
How do I start believing in myself?
Q. I try so hard to have faith in myself as a person so that I can be confident, successful and have fun but I always fail. I don't know who I am and I can't connect well with the people who are in my life whether it be at work, my bf or my friends. I ...
A. 3 April 2011: You can only really believe in yourself when you have something to believe in. That means you'll have belief and self confidence when you have something in your life that makes you aim high, that makes you want to achieve.
I am a person who had ... (read in full...)
We fought on Valentine's day and our sex life is still suffering!
Q. DearCupid: My name is Leighton and i am 41 years old. On the 14th of feb my wife and i got into a bit of a problem in our marriage where i took everything for granted and never showed any interest in her needs. Its been a rocky road since then but...
A. 3 April 2011: One thing I have found with women (and I imagine women have found with men), is there is an expectancy that we can all read each other's mind. Your wife was clearly feeling neglected in some way. Since then, you have taken that to heart and have... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants to move out....but stay together.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together 2 years. When we first met I'd only been divorced 6 weeks. Spark flew but I needed time. We stayed friends for about 3 months until I decided I wanted to be with him. But now he was going through a tough time ...
A. 3 April 2011: Whether he wants to break up with you or not, I would recommend 100% that you do break up. This relationship is flawed on so many levels that I can't even list them all. There was his sly behaviour at the beginning with his ex. Then there was the ... (read in full...)
Did he never love her? Translation please.
Q. What does it mean when someone asks a guy if he got back with his ex girl friend and he replies "I didn't get back with my ex, my ex is haunting me somehow." What does he mean by that? Does it sound like he ever loved her? Thanks..x...
A. 2 April 2011: Sounds like maybe he did love her, but now he finds her very disturbing. Perhaps this is one of those comments you shouldn't listen to. It can only lead to confused thoughts, or pain. ... (read in full...)
Are men turned off by women who wear braces?
Q. Are men turned off by women who wear braces? I had them fitted last week, I really hate them and feel they make me look unattractive! My long distance boyfriend is due to see me again soon, we're in love but I'm worried he won't be attracted to...
A. 2 April 2011: No, they aren't turned off. It won't make a difference. Remember, men wear braces too - the difference is men don't worry so much about what women think.
No man in his right mind will be turned off by braces. ... (read in full...)
How do I know if he was faithful during our break?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together 2 yrs, we have been going through a difficult time in our relationship, fighting a lot, lack of intimacy etc. We had a fight and took a 1 wk break of no contact, we live in different cities. How do I know if ...
A. 2 April 2011: I think the relationships is already over. I really don't see the point of bothering with someone like him, who's first reaction is always to make a run for it. You should not be with someone like this. At all. ... (read in full...)
I take her back and she's at it again. What should I do?
Q. okay my girlfriend and i have been with psychotherapy for 2 years! however a year ago she got talking to some male friends and decided that i was boring and said she hated me! just as i was beginning to get my life back on track she asks for me ...
A. 2 April 2011: Face up to it! - The girl's a cheating loser. You don't love her, you're just clinging to an image, this image of someone you thought you saw. You can't be in love with the real girl behind the image - she's totally worthless on so many levels.
G... (read in full...)
Do women wish there was a world without men?
Q. Hello Fellow Peers Once Again. I Am Dimario. And... a complicated individual. i am easily hurt when it comes to relationship matters. well i was watching television and It was this feminist show and how she said how the world was bad because of men, ...
A. 2 April 2011: If there were no men in the world, the same hardcore feminists who were against men would start stabbing their own female kind in the back.
The hardcore feminists you saw on that show, and the others aren't about feminism. They're not about anyt... (read in full...)
I can't ask him straight out. Is there another way you can tell if they're interested?
Q. Hi , I have this problem i like this guy and i think he likes me, we have had a thing in the past so i know him quite well! although we have drifted and only come back into contact recently. He's shy when it comes to liking girls and is not very ...
A. 2 April 2011: NO TESTING!!!
Testing a man is the most annoying thing a woman can do. It's boring, it's tedious, it's annoying, it's immature. A girl I like thought she'd 'test' me once. I just got tired of the pointlessness of it all and moved on. Needless to s... (read in full...)
How do I know if he was faithful during our break?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together 2 yrs, we have been going through a difficult time in our relationship, fighting a lot, lack of intimacy etc. We had a fight and took a 1 wk break of no contact, we live in different cities. How do I know if ...
A. 2 April 2011: Not to put a fine point to it, but did you actually say to him "we're on a break, but neither of us can sleep with anyone else". Because if that was not made clear, he has done nothing wrong if he has been with someone else. So I hope that was made ... (read in full...)
Does this sound like he's interested? Should I tell him I am?
Q. Dear Cupid, You probably get questions like this all the time, but i honestly don't know what to do anymore. I like this guy - a lot - and have for almost a year. Problem is he has a girlfriend. I never used to like him that much but it's just in...
A. 2 April 2011: If he has a girlfriend and claims he doesn't love her anymore, then he's using her and is out to use you too. Tell him nothing, and don't accept anymore lifts or anything. Imagine how crappily he's treating his girlfriend. He's with her, lies to ... (read in full...)
My friend says she is too old to be on the Contraceptive Pill. When does a woman stop needing to take it?
Q. One of my friends from work is 26 and she told me today that shes no longer on the pill. I was like wtf why not, cuz she doesnt have a bf but she does have booty calls or one nights stands etc (i dont judge). And she said cuz she went to the doct...
A. 2 April 2011: She's not too old. There's something wrong here - like either the doctor is incompetent (not really that likely), or your friend is lying. Are you sure she's not trying to secretly get pregnant or something?... (read in full...)
Don't want to hurt my brother but I want to get my sister in law into bed
Q. i need help for years i`ve had a sexual attraction to my sister in law and hurting my brother is the last thing i want to do but this sexual attraction is really strong i really want to get her in bed what should i do?...
A. 16 January 2011: As the the others have said, you need to learn from this. You can't get what you want this time, so you just have to grow up, learn from it and move on. There is no better advice, because there is nowhere else it can go. Unless you do what C-Grant ... (read in full...)
Don't want to hurt my brother but I want to get my sister in law into bed
Q. i need help for years i`ve had a sexual attraction to my sister in law and hurting my brother is the last thing i want to do but this sexual attraction is really strong i really want to get her in bed what should i do?...
A. 15 January 2011: KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS! An forget her. ... (read in full...)
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