A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have gotten to know a male colleague over the last weeks and we just had a business trip together. Clearly there was some physical attraction over the weeks but we are both married. Anyhow, we chatted on the plane and he talked about his wife, and I mentioned my husband. At the hotel, the owner suggested a good restaurant 15 minutes away by foot. I changed my clothes and we started walking there when my colleague got upset and insisted we go somewhere else. I said fine, let's go somewhere else and at the table he made a point of saying maybe he would try the good restaurant(he called it "the romantic restaurant" the next time he was in town with his wife. He then went on and on about his wife so I made a point of calling my husband on the phone at the table to tell him I was having dinner with this colleague. When we walked back to the hotel, he rushed his words to say goodnight and practically ran to his room. I have to say that I am really upset with his behaviour as it seemed to suggest that i was trying to seduce him, or was acting in a way that was inappropriate. I travel all the time with male colleagues and am wondering why he had such a reaction? We have to work together now but I am pretty embarrassed about the way he acted. What is this?? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2010): I can imagine this was embarrassing for you. It is unclear whether you were coming on to him but obviously he felt that something was happening between you two that shouldn't be happening. As a woman, I think he was sending a clear message to you but at the same time, I wonder if he wasn't projecting his own feelings on to you. I sort of think that if it was just you and not him, he wouldn't have reacted so strongly, as you suggest. I think men would have to answer this question.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (1 October 2010):
He had this reaction because he knows there is a physical attraction, and he wants you to know now that it will go no further. I think he thought that either you thought there was more to the dinner, or he was worried about what he was going to get up to. This is a sign that perhaps you both need to pull away and focus on your marriages. There's no harm in having crushes for others, or feeling a physical attraction to others. But clearly he thought it was going too far.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2010): It sounds like he has feelings for you and also knows better than to cheat on his wife. It was probably a case of a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. Apparently the angel and devil were talking to loudly or confusing this poor man thus making him act like a fool. I would not be embarrassed or uncomfortable around him. If he is uncomfortable that is his problem. Don't waste your time worrying.
...............................
|
