A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was with my girlfriend for almost 1 1/2 years, i got real drunk, some girl jus had 100% intention on doing everything with me, i barely spoke to her the entire night. I still dont know to this day why i followed her up to her room. We had sex. My girlfriend found out through my text messAges to another guy. My gf and i were bith virgins, we both knew we would b together forever. We split up for a about 3 weeks and got back together, she still doesnt trust me, some times when she thinks about it she gets disgusted witb me, she says she hates me, weve hAd sex since but lately she says i dnt deserve it, and also Now because of this she bAnged her old boyfriend in a park, she sees this kid more than me now cuz im in college Nd shes home, hes a complete asshole and i actually Am fighting him when i go home. The only thing keeping me sane is This was while we were broke up, she did it to hurt me directly, i didnt mean to hurt her. She always brings my cheating up And makes me feel like shit, i hate myself for it, i loved her and she. Ant see that you can love someone and make a mistAke like this. Is she gunna make my life miserable forever? Should i care about the kid she fucked? Should i leave her? I dnt think ill ever find a clean nice girl to accept me like she has, im not good at getting girls either, am i just putting up with this because i dnt think ill find Anything better? WhAt do i do
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broke up, drunk, got back together, sex with another, split up, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2010): She has every right to be angry. But since cheated on you too so thats even out.
you both have to start afresh or you better move out.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (30 September 2010):
 For heaven's sake, don't fight with the guy, that's a ridiculous way of handling the situation. It's not about him, anyway. This is about you and your major mistake and her ridiculous retaliation.
I think you should take a break and stop blaming other people for your own mistakes, as should she. You both sound as though you have a LOT of growing up to do still and maybe you aren't really emotionally mature enough to have a viable long-term relationship just yet.
It sounds like you have some doubts about your own worthiness to date, based on your last paragraph, and maybe that's what you should focus on. Why do you not like your own self? What's up with that?
Leave the guy alone, it's stupid to fight him and the consequences of that could be severe on your future. There was an aunt on here who apparently beat up his fiancee's lover and wound up in prison with a record as a result. It's hard to find jobs if you are a convicted felon. Really, really hard. So why would you want to jeopardize your future because of some immature and ill-considered decision by your girlfriend? That is just plain poor planning on your part.
Let it go, let her go for now, and focus on what it is about yourself that is so unappealing, fix that and see how things go from there. Maybe lay off the alcohol for now, as you don't see equipped to handle it, for sure you have made major mistakes under its influence. Make sure it doesn't become a pattern for you.
Let it go, turn the other cheek, move on and look to your own future. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2010): My first instinct is to tell you to end this but my brother and sister in law had a similiar experience before they were married. When his girlfriend went off to college he met someone at work. She found out and broke up with him. After a few months she forgave him, as much as she could, and agreed to be back with him under the agreement that he leave their hometown and move to where she found another job, which was across country. They have been happily married for ten years and though I am sure that pain still lingers it is for the most part in the past. So though I think you and my brother were selfish jerks, there is still hope for you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2010): bovved mate. you're 18, you slept with someone else, you clearly regret it - end of. dont feel too guilty, in a year or so you'll laugh and wonder why you ever thought it was a big deal. ok- so sleeping with someone else is a bit of an issue, but ask yourself this - has it in anyway diminished the love you feel for your girl? if answer is no, life moves on. if she can't accept your apology and believe you heart her big time, thats her own thing. if it were the other way around and she banged some other dude whilst seeing you and she said it meant absolutely nowt, she'd expect you to believe her. Plus, you're 18, and supposed to shag about. live life man!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2010): she didnt have sex because of u. she had it coz she felt horny and comfortable enuff with the guy. if you are with her because you dont think u`ll meet anyone else then its a stupid reason. move on, with or without another girl in ur life.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2010): so you cheated, and she had sex when she was single? Get a grip man. You cheated on the girl you love and you didn't intentionally hurt her? Thats bull shit. Start fresh and move on
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (30 September 2010):
 You cheated on her. She didn't cheat on you. What you did to her was worse than whatever she did while you were broken up. Get a grip. You can say to yourself that you didn't have sex with this other woman to hurt her, but thats kinda worse still, because that just means all you thought about was yourself, right? You did hurt her by it. Thats the most horrible thing about cheating: it hurts your partner like nothing else will.
What can you do? I am not sure, but I think at this point there is still too much grieving and sorrow and frustration for a relationship to work out. I think both of you need a break from each other without sex with anyone else! Give it a month or so and then see how you feel about the matter.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2010): But she didnt really cheat, we were split cuz of me, how can i blame her, one thing i give her credit for is that she hates the fact that she did it, she hates herself because of it
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (30 September 2010):
It's over, it's done, move on from this relationship now. You cheated when drunk, which is terrible. And instead of her making a decision about staying or leaving, she cheated too and now blames you for it all. There is no way that this can work now. End it.
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